- Horatio Black: I must apologize for Benjamin, Mr. Sands. He has a good heart and he's extremely loyal.
- Robert Sands: Well, I'm just thankful that you came along when you did, sport. Thank you.
- Horatio Black: You're welcome. Oh, Mr. Sands, if we ever come into contact with each other again, please don't ever call me 'sport'.
- Mike Larson: UFOs. What do you think about them?
- Robert Sands: I don't.
- Mike Larson: Don't believe in them?
- Robert Sands: I don't think about them.
- Mike Larson: Do I detect a mood of cynicism, Sands?
- Robert Sands: No, sir. It's more a mood of exhaustion. I haven't slept in three days.
- Mike Larson: Next time you go to bed, try sleeping. If you don't have any distractions, it works every time.
- Marcia Buttercup: Among the ordinary cigarettes in that pack are five miniature laser cartridges disguised as cigarettes. They can be activated by simply tapping the end of the filter on any solid object.
- Marcia Buttercup: You're taking this with you to Utah. I need a full report on its behavior in all climatic conditions.
- Robert Sands: What am I supposed to test it on, Fort Knox?
- Marcia Buttercup: Fort Knox is in Kentucky.
- Marcia Buttercup: And, Robert, please, be careful.
- Robert Sands: Why, Buttercup, thank you.
- Marcia Buttercup: We spent a great deal of money on that gun. I would hate for anything to happen to it.
- Ely: Fill her up?
- Robert Sands: Please.
- Ely: Leaded or unleaded?
- Robert Sands: Unleaded.
- Ely: I ain't got unleaded.
- Robert Sands: Leaded.
- Ely: Fine. Look under your hood?
- Robert Sands: No, thanks.
- Ely: Yeah, good. I wouldn't know what I was looking for anyway.
- Horatio Black: Benjamin has an extremely powerful steel arm and hand, don't you, Benjamin? I designed and engineered it myself after he lost his own arm in an accident.
- Robert Sands: Very impressive, for an Erector Set.