Open All Hours (1976–1985)

David Jason: Granville

Photos 

Quotes 

• Arkwright : I want a w-w-word with you.

  Granville : That's three words.

  Arkwright : That girl of Grimshaw's.

  Granville : Big Edna?

  Arkwright : Have you been kn-kn-knocking

  Granville : I have only admired her from a distance.

  Arkwright : Let me finish. Have you been kn-kn-knocking coppers off her weekly order?

  Granville : You do the same for Mrs Featherstone.

  Arkwright : Not without putting them back somewhere else.

• Granville : You won't let me buy firelighters. You say they're too expensive.

  Arkwright : They are in this damn shop. I'm not paying these prices! Get round the Co-op and buy some.

  [pause] 

  Arkwright : Go and open a packet.

  Granville : [leaves the room, to return a few seconds later]  Not if they're going to count as my birthday present.

• Arkwright : Didn't you hear the weather fore-fore-forecast?

  Granville : The "fore-fore-forecast"? That's three fours are twelve... don't you mean the weather "twelvecast"?

• Granville : [exasperated at Arkwright's tight-fistedness]  You're not going to live forever you know.

  Arkwright : I'm goin' to have a d-damn good try, aren't you?

• Arkwright : Oh, you wound me sometimes, Granville!

  Granville : How?

  Arkwright : That time I sat on your bicycle clip springs to mind.

• Granville : The nurse will be watching!

• Granville : [about to put a note in the shop till]  Do you reckon they can stitch fingers back on these days?

• Arkwright : You look all sinister and Hungarian.

  Granville : Hungarians don't look like this.

  Arkwright : Badly-dressed Hungarians do.

  Granville : I look like an idiot.

  Arkwright : Yes.

• Granville : Well, there's a great day for discoveries. My mother was the fisherman's friend and I've got a bottom half called Hugo.

• Granville : Look at the time! Quarter to nine and I'm held here in the clutches of my wicked uncle.

  Arkwright : Your uncle is going to be wicked across the road, clutching something else entirely.

• Granville : I've got the blood of poets and lovers in my veins.

  Arkwright : [as Granville leaves]  Yes. And at least one electrician.

• Granville : [about Arkwright]  Did you know that the last time he was out all day was back in 1957?

  The Milk Woman : 1957? Where did he go?

  Granville : Have his appendix out.

• Arkwright : You've got the evenings free, haven't you?

  Granville : Yeah, knowing you, they'd HAVE to be free. Anyway, WHAT evenings? We don't close here 'till nine o'clock at night.

  Arkwright : One day, Granville, all this will be y-yours. Lock-lock-lock-lock-lock-lock, stock and barrel. I'm always t-telling you this.

  Granville : Yes I know, every time I ask for a rise.