Terry Gilliam: Patsy, Green Knight, Knight of Camelot, Old Man from Scene 24 (Bridgekeeper), Sir Bors, Animator, Gorilla Hand
Photos
Quotes
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Bridgekeeper : Stop. Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
Sir Lancelot : Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I am not afraid.
Bridgekeeper : What... is your name?
Sir Lancelot : My name is Sir Lancelot of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper : What... is your quest?
Sir Lancelot : To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper : What... is your favourite colour?
Sir Lancelot : Blue.
Bridgekeeper : Go on. Off you go.
Sir Lancelot : Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.
Sir Robin : That's easy.
Bridgekeeper : Stop. Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
Sir Robin : Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I'm not afraid.
Bridgekeeper : What... is your name?
Sir Robin : Sir Robin of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper : What... is your quest?
Sir Robin : To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper : What... is the capital of Assyria?
[pause]
Sir Robin : I don't know that.
[he is thrown over the edge into the volcano]
Sir Robin : Auuuuuuuugh.
Bridgekeeper : Stop. What... is your name?
Galahad : Sir Galahad of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper : What... is your quest?
Galahad : I seek the Grail.
Bridgekeeper : What... is your favourite colour?
Galahad : Blue. No, yel...
[he is also thrown over the edge]
Galahad : auuuuuuuugh.
Bridgekeeper : Hee hee heh. Stop. What... is your name?
King Arthur : It is 'Arthur', King of the Britons.
Bridgekeeper : What... is your quest?
King Arthur : To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper : What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
King Arthur : What do you mean? An African or European swallow?
Bridgekeeper : Huh? I... I don't know that.
[he is thrown over]
Bridgekeeper : Auuuuuuuugh.
Sir Bedevere : How do know so much about swallows?
King Arthur : Well, you have to know these things when you're a king, you know.
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Tim : There he is!
King Arthur : Where?
Tim : There!
King Arthur : What? Behind the rabbit?
Tim : It *is* the rabbit!
King Arthur : You silly sod!
Tim : What?
King Arthur : You got us all worked up!
Tim : Well, that's no ordinary rabbit.
King Arthur : Ohh.
Tim : That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!
Sir Robin : You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared!
Tim : Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide! It's a killer!
Sir Galahad : Get stuffed!
Tim : He'll do you up a treat, mate.
Sir Galahad : Oh, yeah?
Sir Robin : You manky Scots git!
Tim : I'm warning you!
Sir Robin : What's he do? Nibble your bum?
Tim : He's got huge, sharp... er... He can leap about. Look at the bones!
King Arthur : Go on, Bors. Chop his head off!
Sir Bors : Right! Silly little bleeder. One rabbit stew comin' right up!
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Sir Lancelot : Look, my liege!
[trumpets play a fanfare as the camera cuts briefly to the sight of a majestic castle]
King Arthur : [in awe] Camelot!
Sir Galahad : [in awe] Camelot!
Sir Lancelot : [in awe] Camelot!
Patsy : [derisively] It's only a model!
King Arthur : Shh!
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Sir Galahad : Zoot!
Dingo : No, I am Zoot's identical twin sister, Dingo.
[He tried to get past her]
Dingo : Where are you going?
Sir Galahad : I seek the Grail! I have seen it, here in this castle!
Dingo : Oh, no! Oh, no! Bad, bad Zoot!
Sir Galahad : What is it?
Dingo : Oh, wicked, bad, naughty Zoot! She has been setting a light to our beacon, which, I've just remembered, is Grail shaped. It's not the first time we've had this problem.
Sir Galahad : It's not the real Grail?
Dingo : Oh, wicked, bad, naughty, evil Zoot! Oh, she is a bad person, and she must pay the penalty!
[Turns to camera]
Dingo : Do you think this scene should have been cut? We were so worried when the boys were writing it, but now we're glad! It's better than some of the previous scenes I think.
Left Head : At least ours was better visually.
Dennis : At least ours was committed, it wasn't just a string of pussy jokes.
Bridgekeeper : Get on with it.
Tim : Yes! Get on with it!
Army : Yeah! Get on with it!
Dingo : Oh, I am enjoying this scene!
God : Get on with it!
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[the cartoon Knights are being chased by the animated Beast of Aaaaauuuugggggghhh]
Narrator : And as the Black Beast lurched forward, escape for Arthur and his knights seemed hopeless, when suddenly, the animator suffered a fatal heart attack!
[cut to the animator shown cringing]
Animator : Ughck!
[falls backwards in his chair]
Narrator : [back to the cartoon] The cartoon peril was no more.
[Beast of Aaaaauuuugggggghhh disappears]
Narrator : The quest for the Holy Grail could continue.
