The Lovers! (1973)

Paula Wilcox: Beryl Battersby

Quotes 

• Geoffrey Scrimshaw : [First words on meeting]  I'm Geoffrey. I don't happen to be attached.

  Beryl Battersby : I'm Beryl. I don't happen to be surprised.

• Beryl Battersby : Funny, isn't it, first date with someone? It always leads to one of three things: either nothing, or something, or everything.

• Beryl Battersby : Well, Sandra, this is it.

  Sandra : Yep.

  Beryl Battersby : The big day.

  Sandra : Yep.

  Beryl Battersby : Coming to the crutch.

  Sandra : Crunch.

  Beryl Battersby : I daresay it'll hardly break me heart in the slightest seeing him again. You mustn't think I'll be crying inside, because I most definitely won't be. And what's more, no-one will know that I am. Cos I shan't. Truly.

• Trainee Manager (Party) : Do you agree that life's an onion?

  Beryl Battersby : Pardon?

  Trainee Manager (Party) : If so, what's death?

  Beryl Battersby : Umm...

  Trainee Manager (Party) : A banana.

  Beryl Battersby : Oh. Yes, I expect it is when you think about it.

  Trainee Manager (Party) : Have you read Schopenhauer's "Concept of Existence"?

  Beryl Battersby : Erm, no - but I've seen the film.

• Beryl Battersby : [Recoiling from a passionate clinch in the park]  Geoffrey! N-O spells no.

  Geoffrey Scrimshaw : It's good for your circulation, Beryl. Read any women's magazine. It's good for theirs, too.

  Beryl Battersby : I'm not sure they recommend Percy Filth on Tuesdays.

  Geoffrey Scrimshaw : I only see you on Tuesdays and Saturdays.

  Beryl Battersby : Or Saturdays.

• Geoffrey Scrimshaw : [Geoffrey has walked Beryl home to her door after the cinema]  I won't come in, with it being our first date.

  Beryl Battersby : No.

  Geoffrey Scrimshaw : [Disappointed]  Oh.