- Jonathan: Look, sister, I'm out there in the jungle - eight hours a day!
- Bobbie: You wouldn't even let me canvas for Kennedy.
- Jonathan: You want a job? I got a job for you. Fix up this pigsty! You get a pretty Goddammed good salary for testing out this bed all day! You want an extra fifty dollars a week, try vacuuming! You want an extra hundred, make this Goddammed bed! Try opening some Goddammed windows! That's why you can't stand up in here, the Goddammed place smells like a coffin!
- [first lines]
- Jonathan: If you had a choice...
- Sandy: Yeah?
- Jonathan: Would you rather love a girl, or have her love you?
- Sandy: I want it mutual.
- Jonathan: I mean if you couldn't have it mutual.
- Sandy: You mean would I rather be the one who loves, or is loved?
- Jonathan: Yeah.
- Sandy: It's not that easy a question. But, I think I'd rather be in love.
- Jonathan: Me too. I wouldn't want to get hurt, though.
- Jonathan: Alright, where the fuck is my shoehorn? This place is a mess! There's not any food in the house, half the time you look like you fell out of bed! You spend more time in bed than any other human being past the age of 6 months than I ever heard of!
- Susan: I think people only like to think they're putting on an act, but it's not an act, it's really them. If they think it's an act, they feel better, because they think they can always change it.
- Sandy: You mean, they're kidding themselves, because it's not really an act.
- Susan: Yes, it is an act, but they're the act. The act is them.
- Sandy: But if it's them, then how can it be an act?
- Susan: Because they're an act.
- Sandy: But they're also real.
- Susan: No.
- Sandy: I'm not real?
- Susan: No.
- Sandy: I'm an act?
- Susan: It's all right, I'm an act too.
- [last lines]
- Jonathan: I'm not kind.
- Louise: I don't mean "weak" kind the way so many men are. I mean the kindness that comes from enormous strength, from an inner power so strong that every act, no matter what, is more proof of that power. That's what all women resent. That's why they try to cut you down, because your knowledge of yourself and them is so right, so true, that it exposes the lies by which they, every scheming one of them, live by. It takes a true woman to understand that the purest form of love is of a man who denies himself to her, of a man who inspires worship, because he has no need for any woman. Because he has himself, and who is better, more beautiful, more powerful, more perfect... you're getting hard... more strong, more masculine, more extraordinary, more... bust. It's rising, it's rising... more virile, domineering. More irresistible. It's up, it's in the air...
- Jonathan: At one time, it was great what we had... the kidding around. It can't have a natural time span. Affairs can't dissolve in a good way. There's always got to be poison. I don't see why, I really don't see why!
- Jonathan: Is this an ultimatum? Answer me, you ball-busting, castrating, son of a cunt bitch! Is this an ultimatum or not?
- Susan: This is the first time I've ever been to a college mixer.
- Sandy: Me too. I hate them.
- Susan: I hate them too.
- Sandy: It's such a phony way of meeting people.
- Susan: Everybody puts on an act.
- Sandy: So, even if you meet somebody, you don't know who you're meeting.
- Susan: 'Cause you're meeting the act.
- Sandy: That's right, not the person.
- Sandy: Susan and I do all the right things. We undress in front of each other. We spend 15 minutes on foreplay. We experiment, do it in different rooms. It's a seven-room house. We don't believe in making a ritual of it. We do it when we feel like it. We don't feel we have to be passionate all the time. Sometimes it's even more fun necking. We're considerate of each other's feelings. I had a tendency - men, I guess, have - to be selfish. But I stopped. I don't do that now. We try to be patient, and we are patient, gentle with each other. Maybe it's just not meant to be enjoyable with women you love.
- Susan: Don't you behave differently with different people?
- Sandy: No.
- Susan: With your family?
- Sandy: I thought you meant different people. Well, sure, with my family...
- Susan: And with friends, you're another way.
- Sandy: Well, sure, with my friends.
- Susan: And with your teachers, you're still another way. So which one is you?
- Sandy: She was the best-looking girl at the whole mixer. I'll say that for her. Wasn't she?
- Jonathan: Her tits were too small.
- Sandy: Yeah, I was thinking that. The hell with her.
- Jonathan: But her legs were great.
- Sandy: You think so? Standing so close, I really couldn't tell about her legs.
- Jonathan: I wouldn't kick her out of bed.
- Sandy: She's got some funny ideas.
- Jonathan: I wouldn't kick her out of bed.
- Susan: If I like a boy and I want him to keep liking me, and I'm brighter than he is, I have to not show it, or I'll lose him.
- Sandy: She kissed me five times.
- Jonathan: Now, that's when you should've put your hand on her tit.
- Sandy: Come on, when this girl's nice enough to kiss me, I should do that to her?
- Jonathan: You act as if she's doing you a favor.
- Sandy: Well, it is sort of a favor, isn't it? I mean, when a girl lets you kiss her and, you know, go on from there. Feel her up and, you know, the rest of it. Go all the way and the rest of it. I mean, isn't it a favor? What's in it for her? I mean, if she's not getting paid or anything.
- Sandy: Susan, are you a virgin? What do I do with my other hand? What are you gonna do with your hands?
- Jonathan: What did you say exactly?
- Sandy: I don't remember exactly. That she was the first girl I ever tried to feel up.
- Jonathan: You told her that?
- Sandy: Was it a mistake?
- Jonathan: I wouldn't.
- Sandy: Then she got nicer to me.
- Jonathan: What do you mean nicer?
- Sandy: She put my hand on her breast.
- Jonathan: You mean you put it on; she left it there.
- Sandy: No, she picked it up and put it on.
- Jonathan: She took your hand like this? And put it on like this?
- Sandy: That's right. So, I didn't know what to think.
- Jonathan: You didn't, huh?
- Sandy: For just wanting to be friends, she's suddenly getting pretty aggressive.
- Jonathan: Yeah, then what?
- Sandy: I asked her if she was a virgin.
- Jonathan: You're kidding.
- Sandy: Was that a mistake? Anyhow, she is.
- Jonathan: *She* says. So now you got, what, one hand or two hands on her tits?
- Sandy: By this time, she's put the other hand on the other one.
- Jonathan: She put both hands on? Two hands?
- Sandy: So I said, "What are you gonna do with your hands?"
- Jonathan: You didn't say that.
- Sandy: It just came out.
- Jonathan: Yeah, then what?
- Sandy: Let me see if I got this. She unzipped my fly.
- Jonathan: Bullshit artist! Then what? Then what?
- Sandy: Then she did it!
- Jonathan: Did what? Bullshit artist! She really did that to you?
- Sandy: Yeah.
- Jonathan: She did *that*?
- Sandy: Yeah.
- Sandy: I'm reading "The Fountainhead."
- Jonathan: "The Fountainhead." What's that?
- Sandy: It's her favorite book. You ever hear of "Jean-Christophe"?
- Jonathan: What's that?
- Sandy: It's a classic, you moron. Gonna read it after "The Fountainhead."
- Jonathan: Yeah, you ever read "Guadalcanal Diary" by Richard Tregaskis?
- Sandy: No.
- Jonathan: That was a best seller and I read it. Ever read "Gentleman's Agreement" by Laura Z. Hobson? You ever read "A Bell For Adano" by John Hersey?
- Sandy: I'm gonna read everything from now on.
- Jonathan: You won't take pity on me?
- Bobbie: Only if you say you're sorry.
- Jonathan: I'm sorry.
- Bobbie: And you'll never do it again.
- Jonathan: I'll never do it again.
- Bobbie: And you'll always be a good boy.
- Jonathan: Yes, Mama.
- Bobbie: You like to be mothered?
- Jonathan: I'd like to be smothered by you.
- Bobbie: What else would you like me to do to you?
- Bobbie: Most guys I know are pricks. I don't know anymore what they want.
- Jonathan: I'll be happy to tell you. They want
- [slaps Bobbie's behind]
- Jonathan: the boodle. But they ain't gonna get the boodle.
- Bobbie: Goddamn right.
- Jonathan: Because this kid here has got the boodle.
- Bobbie: You're pretty sure of yourself, aren't you?
- Jonathan: [slide show narration] Mildred, I think, this one's name was. She followed me around at school. The fellas kidded me about her. I warned her if she didn't stop, I'd beat her up. She picked up her skirt, dropped her drawers and shoved her ass at me. So I got my first sight of ass at 12.
- Jonathan: [slide show narration] Here's a real cunt. I forget her name. A Nazi. I banged her in Berlin.
- Jonathan: She should be very understanding. Start the same sentences together.
- Sandy: Yeah, I'd like that.
- Jonathan: *Big* tits.
- Sandy: Yeah, but still a virgin.
- Jonathan: I don't care about that.
- Sandy: Come on.
- Jonathan: I wouldn't mind if she was a little ahead of me, with those big tits, and knew hundreds of different ways.