- Hallie: Miss Martha said I should shave you. But I ain't so sure.
- [examining his face]
- Hallie: I don't think the Lord want a man's face all smooth like a baby's bottom. That's why he gave him whiskers. Might be a sin to shave that group off.
- Cpl. John McBurney: [huskily] Then don't do it. Sinning oughta be saved for *much* more important things!
- Hallie: I better shave you! Miss Martha give me my orders. Not de Lord. And even without whiskers, you wouldn't look half bad - for a white man.
- [laughs]
- Cpl. John McBurney: You're a damn handsome woman, Hallie. Maybe I'll just start with you. Go down in the cellar. I've been havin' a run of bad luck lately. I understand the way to fix that is to have a black woman.
- Hallie: Then, white boy, you better like it with a died black woman. Because, that's the only way you'll get it from this one.
- Cpl. John McBurney: I've just been thinking about all the advantages a one-legged man has. He saves on socks. He doesn't have to worry about trimming as many toenails... fewer corns and bunions. I've been contemplating asking her to cut off the other one.
- Martha Farnsworth: Removing the ligatures will be painful. Do you want some laudanum?
- Cpl. John McBurney: No thanks, kind lady! I'll fall asleep, and then just by chance, you might cut off my... other leg.
- Martha Farnsworth: If the pain gets too great, I'll ask Hallie to bring you some (wine).
- Cpl. John McBurney: Well, this does seem like a good occasion, and I would love some wine.
- Martha Farnsworth: It was offered for your pain, not for your pleasure!
- Cpl. John McBurney: To be sure, ma'am. It's just that sometimes the two go together.
- Hallie: Now, pull off his pants. Go ahead, Miss Martha. He's not made no different than your brother.
- Cpl. John McBurney: Well, Carol, that's about the nicest introduction I've ever had. And to the prettiest girl. How old are you?
- Carol: Seventeen. I know a lot more than girls my age.
- Cpl. John McBurney: I bet you do!
- Carol: Gotta get back to -
- [kiss]
- Carol: Bible readin'.
- Cpl. John McBurney: Say a pray for me, will ya?
- Carol: I would, but, I have no idea what you want.
- Cpl. John McBurney: I've been at war a long time. Its been months since I've seen a woman's face. You'll find I'm easily amused.
- Martha Farnsworth: Get any ideas of trying to amuse yourself with any of the ladies in this house...
- Cpl. John McBurney: Well, wait just a minute.
- Martha Farnsworth: You'll find yourself out on that road so fast you won't know what happened to you!
- Cpl. John McBurney: I'm not that kind of man. You know that.
- Martha Farnsworth: I know nothing of the kind.
- Carol: You surprise me! Never thought you'd be afraid to kiss a girl.
- Cpl. John McBurney: Well, you see, my mother told me that it might just stunt my growth.
- Carol: Well, maybe your mama was right. You certainly are well developed.
- Cpl. John McBurney: Yeah, I'd have to say the same about you.
- Carol: Well, its not the same. I mean your shoulders and arms seem to be all muscle. I bet there's not a soft spot on you.
- Edwina: Oh. Oh, I can't. Not like this. Not without being sure. Maybe, maybe when the war's over. Its just that I never have before. Don't be angry.
- Carol: I see you can manage stairs. You know, they leave the key in your door. I could slip down and unlock it. You'd find me much more interestin' than Miss Edwina.
- Cpl. John McBurney: You little devil.
- Cpl. John McBurney: You dirty bitch! Just because I didn't go to your bed. Just because I went to someone else's bed.
- Cpl. John McBurney: Why should I have denied myself after all I'd been through? You wanted to be so much the God damn lady. The virgin bitch. Get out of here. Get out of here!
- Cpl. John McBurney: Where's your virgin assistant? Doesn't she want to stay around to finish the job?
- Carol: What happened - makes no difference to me. I know it won't hinder you - romantically. I'm sure a one-legged man, or even a no-legged man, can enjoy himself - in a way. Same as any man. I'd do anything for you.
- Amy: I picked the mushrooms.
- Cpl. John McBurney: Mmm. And are they good, Amy. They taste of the woods and the clean air and mysterious shadows where pretty little elves dance together.
- Martha Farnsworth: How a romantic way to speak of mushrooms.
- Cpl. John McBurney: [first lines - voiceover - sung] A warning by me, Don't go for a soldier, don't join no army, For the dove she will leave you, the raven will come, And death will come marching at the beat of the drum. Come all you pretty fair maids, come walk in the sun, And don't let your young man ever carry a gun
- Hallie: You figure dem Yanks gonna burn this place down?
- Martha Farnsworth: Hallie, don't talk that way. Its hard enough to get the girls to study as it is.
- Martha Farnsworth: [internal voice] If this war goes on much longer, I'll forget I ever was a woman.
- Martha Farnsworth: I'm afraid its some time since the Corporal had a bath.
- Hallie: I noticed. You ladies leave. I'll get some clean water and wash him down.
- Cpl. John McBurney: You and I ought to be friends, Hallie.
- Hallie: How you figure that?
- Cpl. John McBurney: Well, we're both kinda prisoners here. Aren't we?
- Hallie: We're different, Mr. Yankee. I can run.
- Cpl. John McBurney: Sometimes a man's gotta do things he doesn't particularly like.
- Hallie: Not if you're free, you don't. And you white folks ain't killin' each other 'cause you care about us niggers. White mans de same everywhere in this world.
- Carol: [watching Edwina cleaning Cpl. John McBurney's chest - internal voice] At least it gives her an opportunity to learn what a man's body feels like.
- Cpl. John McBurney: Sometimes, don't you think of yourself as a sleeping beauty in a castle, waiting for the prince to free you - with a kiss?
- Cpl. John McBurney: How long does it take you, ma'am, to get to know someone? To get to know me?
- Martha Farnsworth: You'll never find out. You won't be here that long.
- Martha Farnsworth: Hallie, you might shave Cpl. McBurney this morning. I'm tired of lookin' at that stubble.
- Hallie: Miss Doris, that thing in your hand is for hoein', not leanin'.
- Doris: It's nigger work! And its ruining my hands. Why, I'll never be able to play the harp again!
- Hallie: That nigger work is what feed us. And if we don't get enough of it, you'll go where you can play your harp, your holy of long days.
- Hallie: Like to suck a raw egg while I shave you? It'll give you energy.
- Cpl. John McBurney: Thanks.
- Hallie: You get the thanks. Those hens hadn't laid for months before you came. You must got rooster blood in you!
- 2nd Confederate Captain: It seems to me is how you might be afraid of being molested by them Yankees. I could leave a couple of my boys here to sleep in your barn for a night or two.
- Cpl. John McBurney: [delirious] You're well bosomed too. Sweet, I'll tell you that. So round and perky.
- Cpl. John McBurney: I'd welcome some wine, though.
- Martha Farnsworth: You might welcome it; but, you won't get it. Undo your trouser leg.
- Cpl. John McBurney: According to the new rules around here, I'm gonna have the run of this place. One is that I'm gonna be with any young lady that desires my company. Now, if you have any objections, then I'm gonna locate the nearest Union Calvary and tell them about some of the goodies - especially the beddin' down variety!
- Cpl. John McBurney: How old are you Amy?
- Amy: Twelve. Thirteen in September.
- Cpl. John McBurney: Old enough for kisses.
- [kiss]