How to Commit Marriage (1969)

Tim Matheson: David Poe

Photos 

Quotes 

• David Poe : Oliver, Nancy and I are going to get married.

  Nancy Benson : We love each other, Mr. Poe.

  Oliver Poe : That's Victorian bourgeois. I'll prove it you.

  [calls mistress on speaker phone] 

  Oliver Poe : Laverne, are we sleeping together?

  Laverne Baker : Yes, Oliver.

  Oliver Poe : Do we love each other? Are we married?

  Laverne Baker : Yes, dear. No, dear.

  Oliver Poe : [disconnects speaker phone]  Case closed.

• David Poe : Oliver, Nancy and I are going to get married.

  Nancy Benson : We love each other, Mr. Poe.

  Oliver Poe : That's Victorian bourgeois. I'll prove it you.

  Laverne Baker : [calling Laverne on the speaker phone]  Laverne, are we sleeping together?

  Laverne Baker : Yes, Oliver.

  Oliver Poe : Do we love each other? Are we married?

  Laverne Baker : Yes, dear. No, dear.

  Oliver Poe : [disconnecting the speaker phone]  Case closed.

  David Poe : Nancy's parents are married.

  Nancy Benson : [pleading]  They've been happy for nineteen years!

  Oliver Poe : [sarcastically]  They're freaks.

• Nancy Benson : [introducing her fiancé to her father]  David comes from a broken home.

  David Poe : I was the only child in kindergarten who could spell dirty words correctly.

  Frank Benson : I'm amazed you didn't write a best-seller.