- Diana Scott: Taxi!
- Robert Gold: We're not taking a taxi.
- Diana Scott: Why not?
- Robert Gold: I don't take whores in taxis.
- Diana Scott: What do mean?
- Robert Gold: That's what you are isn't it? A little whore! Isn't it?
- Diana Scott: Poor Miles. You can't risk feeling anything, can you?
- Miles Brand: I shall survive.
- Diana Scott: Of course! As long as you remain impotent.
- Miles Brand: My impotence, my darling, makes a pair with your virginity.
- Diana Scott: Impotent in every way, except in bed.
- Miles Brand: Don't underestimate me, my dear. I can also be very effective on the telephone.
- Miles Brand: How savage we are tonight. Somebody's husband has gone back to his wife?
- Carlotta Hale: If he had, you'd have been there to greet him.
- Miles Brand: Leftovers aren't exactly my diet, my darling.
- Carlotta Hale: Oh? I thought you were always in the market?
- Diana Scott: I always feel as if there's one more corner to turn, and I'll be there.
- Miles Brand: And so you will.
- Diana Scott: Then there'll be another.
- Miles Brand: That's the attraction of corners.
- Diana Scott: You must lead such an interesting life.
- Robert Gold: Being a professional question mark?
- Diana Scott: Oh, it's better than being a professional bosom!
- Diana Scott: Oh, it should be so easy to be happy, shouldn't it? It should be the easiest thing in the world.
- Robert Gold: It should be.
- Diana Scott: I wonder why it isn't? Maybe it is?
- Miles Brand: It was said of her great-grandmother that the only members of the cabinet who weren't her lovers were the ones who had reason to believe they might be her father.
- Diana Scott: Do you have parents? I can't imagine you with parents.
- Miles Brand: Yes, I have. Two of them.
- Diana Scott: Imagine if...
- Miles Brand: What?
- Diana Scott: It took three.
- Miles Brand: Took three?
- Diana Scott: Sexes. To make a child.
- Miles Brand: Very entertaining.
- Diana Scott: Everything would be different, wouldn't it, quite different, with three sexes.
- Miles Brand: Haven't we got enough problems with two?
- Robert Gold: You bitch! You filthy little bitch!
- Diana Scott: Enjoy yourself. You've got no right to call me anything!
- Robert Gold: I have every right to call you everything!
- Diana Scott: Oh have you? We're not married! At least, not to each other!
- Diana Scott: Thank you so much for letting me do the "Finished Product." It's a very good program.
- Robert Gold: You really think so?
- Diana Scott: I thought I looked ghastly; but, it was a super program.
- Robert Gold: I thought you looked super and the program looked ghastly. What's more - I'm right too.
- Diana Scott: No. I thought you looked frightfully lean and intelligent.
- Robert Gold: I am frightfully lean and intelligent. Not that it helps.
- Diana Scott: What do want to do then?
- Robert Gold: I don't know. I do know. I don't know.
- Diana Scott: I know.
- Robert Gold: Now, Mr. Southgate, you have the reputation of being something of a 'lone wolf.' Is this a protest against the establishment?
- Walter Southgate: It's true. I have always preferred to be a mouse and walk by itself; rather than a member of a group of literary lions - always licking each other or washing each other behind the ears - and biting each other. And, as you know, they're behind bars in a cultural zoo!
- Diana Scott: Darling, two of the most gorgeous negroes you've ever seen have just gone up the stairs. What on earth is going on up there?
- Robert Gold: They're having a diplomatic reception.
- Diana Scott: Oh.
- Robert Gold: Would you like to have a diplomatic reception?
- Diana Scott: What a good idea!
- Ivor Dawlish: We saw your film at our local flea-bit.
- Diana Scott: Oh, yes.
- Ivor Dawlish: I was sorry we didn't see more of you.
- Helen Dawlish: Unfortunately, we missed the beginning.
- Rupert Crabtree: The best part! You were stunning.
- Diana Scott: Oh, you like my black lingerie, did you?
- Helen Dawlish: Ivor's been after me to buy some.
- Ivor Dawlish: Helen, is nothing sacred?
- Helen Dawlish: Not much.
- Miles Brand: Miles, my love, have you ever been in love?
- Diana Scott: [answering questions in the "Truth Game" at the French party as if she were Miles Brand] Yes, for as long as I can remember - with myself!
- Spanish Transvestite at French Party: Olé! Tell me, Miles, if you could be anything in the world, what would you most want to be?
- Diana Scott: A pimp in a royal whorehouse.
- [first lines]
- "Ideal Woman" Interviewer: Well, I do want our readers to feel that it is really your story; so, I thought I'd perhaps ask you a few questions and if you'd just answer them in your own words.
- Diana Scott: Yes, I see. Alright, ask away.
- Diana Scott: Oh yes, I hate convention! You can't breathe. You have to break away.
- Robert Gold: But isn't the break away of yesterday the convention of today?
- Diana Scott: Well, then you have to break away again!
- Robert Gold: Just for the sake of it? Isn't that conventional? In the way young people do it today; I mean, in the way they dress and the way they dance, the way they're talking. That's more conventional than what they are trying to get away from.
- Diana Scott: Do you say the way I dress is conventional?
- Robert Gold: Well, you're dressed in the height of fashion. Your hair is...
- Diana Scott: Oh, I just wash and curl it!
- Diana Scott: My friends seemed to get on very well with your friends.
- Robert Gold: Because your friends are so pretty.
- Diana Scott: And your's so intelligent.
- Diana Scott: I'm so frightened sometimes.
- Robert Gold: What do you mean you're so frightened sometimes? Why? What are you frightened of?
- Diana Scott: I am so happy.
- Diana Scott: [voice over] Normally, I never did charity work. It's usually terribly draggy. But, you know, Robert was away and Miles Brand happened to phone the same day. After all, he had chosen me for the "Honeyglow Girl."
- Carlotta Hale: Still admiring yourself as much as ever, Miles?
- Miles Brand: Carlotta!
- Carlotta Hale: How lucky it is you're a man after your own heart.
- Miles Brand: Darling.
- Lord Grant: I like your black boys, John. I suppose I can't wrap one up and take him home?
- John: I wouldn't advise you to try.
- Miles Brand: They're all numbered Alex and I wouldn't try and change your luck, if I were you.
- Diana Scott: "This royal throne of kings, this scepter'd isle, This earth of majesty, this seat of Mars, This other Eden, demi-paradise, This fortress built by Nature for herself, Against infection and a hand of war, This little world, This precious stone set in the silver sea, Which serves it in the office of a wall, Or as a moat defensive to a house, Against the envy of less happier lands, This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England."
- Diana Scott: [looking at a statue] What's this supposed to be?
- Miles Brand: Oh, its known for many in the group as three couples taking their pleasures with a fourth looking on.
- Diana Scott: Charming.
- Sean Martin: Well, we just wanted to have a look at you.
- "Jacquline" Producer #1: Yes, we just want to take a look at you.
- Diana Scott: Well, have a look.
- "Jacquline" Producer #2: Would you look toward the street. That's right. Now, the door. That's right. Now, I want you to look at me, but, keep your neck the same angle. Well, what do you think?
- Sean Martin: She's alright. She's fine. Fine.
- "Jacquline" Producer #1: Has she enough profile?
- "Jacquline" Producer #2: Yes, sure.
- Sean Martin: She'll be standing up most of the time.
- Diana Scott: You are jealous.
- Robert Gold: Who knows what I am.
- Diana Scott: Well, you're the one I bed with.
- Robert Gold: At present.
- Diana Scott: I hate you! What a thing to say!
- Robert Gold: Well, what do you want me to say? You know, as well as I do, what you're up to.
- Robert Gold: One day I'm going to have to bail you out of clink - for indecent exposure.
- Diana Scott: Would you?
- Robert Gold: Of course, I would.
- Man Driving a Car: Hey, that's my meter!
- Diana Scott: Sorry.
- Man Driving a Car: Sorry? I should think you are, sorry. Go on, get out of it. Women drivers!
- Billie Castiglione: Oh, Miles, I love you. You're such a
- [whispers in Miles ear]
- Miles Brand: Oh, Billie, if I didn't know you were a man, I'd be very shocked. Diana, darling, I want you to meet Billie Castiglione. He's one of the best sculptresses in Paris. He's dying to do your bust.
- Billie Castiglione: I'm going to kill that man, I am. You've got a beautiful head. Wonderful bones. Truly!
- Diana Scott: Look at this place. This rat trap! I'm not going to be a prisoner any longer!
- Robert Gold: So, you're the prisoner, are you?
- Diana Scott: Yes! Prying in my life, looking in my handbag, spying on me!
- Robert Gold: The quickest way of getting to know you.
- Diana Scott: [voice over] Well, one just had to take a grip on oneself, that was all. I just knew the only possible hope was to fling oneself absolutely madly into one's work. It was either that, you know, or the ole gas oven.