Carry on Cleo (1964)
Kenneth Williams: Julius Caesar
Photos
Quotes
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[repeated line]
Julius Caesar : Friends, Romans...
Whoever happens to be next to him : Countrymen.
Julius Caesar : I know!
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Julius Caesar : I've cleaned up this city. Have you forgotten my slogan? 'Nihil expectore in omnibus' - no spitting on the public transport.
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[Of the Britons]
Mark Antony : You know I just don't get these Britons; everytime we get a good punch up going, someone behind the line yells "Teas up!" and they all disappear!
Julius Caesar : "Teas up"? How very odd! It must be one of these strange gods they worship, like this other one they're always talking about, "Crumpet."
Mark Antony : What?
Julius Caesar : "Crum-pet", I don't understand it at all.
Mark Antony : You know something; I don't think these Britons don't want to be conquered.
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Cleopatra : [to Hengist who is dressed as Caesar] You do not look like your bust.
Julius Caesar : [who is dressed as Hengist] No, he's not. He's just a bit cracked.
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Brutus : The senate are worried about matters in the east, the affairs involving Ptolemy and Cleopatra.
Julius Caesar : Are they having an affair? Oh do tell!
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Bilius : Caesar, there is a messenger here without.
Julius Caesar : I'm not surprised, if we stay here much longer we'll all be without.
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Mark Antony : [reading a letter from Seneca] Hello - there is news from Egypt, Ptolemy is trying to usurp Cleopatra.
Julius Caesar : Trying to do what with her?
Mark Antony : Usurp her.
Julius Caesar : Sound positively revolting.
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Julius Caesar : Tony!
Mark Antony : Julie! I caught you with your toga up!
Julius Caesar : Oh yes, I'm sorry I've caught something, one of these local things I can't seem to shake off. It's called "a-stinking-cold"!
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Bilius : I'm sorry Caesar but for the good of Rome, you must die!
Julius Caesar : But you're my personal bodyguard and champion gladiator! I don't want to die! I may not be a very good live emperor but I'd be a worse one dead! Treachery! Infamy! Infamy! They've all got it in for me.
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[repeated line]
Julius Caesar : [in greeting Mark Antony] Tony!
Mark Antony : [in greeting Julius Caesar in return] Julie!
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Julius Caesar : Oh, I do feel queer.
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Julius Caesar : ...beware the nuts in May.