Peter Bull: Russian Ambassador Alexi de Sadesky
Photos
Quotes
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Dr. Strangelove : Of course, the whole point of a Doomsday Machine is lost, if you *keep* it a *secret*! Why didn't you tell the world, EH?
Ambassador de Sadesky : It was to be announced at the Party Congress on Monday. As you know, the Premier loves surprises.
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[after speaking on the phone to Soviet Premier Dimitri Kissov]
Ambassador de Sadesky : Be careful, Mr. President. I think he's drunk.
President Merkin Muffley : [to Premier Kissov] Hello?... Uh... Hello D- uh hello Dmitri? Listen uh uh I can't hear too well. Do you suppose you could turn the music down just a little?... Oh-ho, that's much better... yeah... huh... yes... Fine, I can hear you now, Dmitri... Clear and plain and coming through fine... I'm coming through fine, too, eh?... Good, then... well, then, as you say, we're both coming through fine... Good... Well, it's good that you're fine and... and I'm fine... I agree with you, it's great to be fine... a-ha-ha-ha-ha... Now then, Dmitri, you know how we've always talked about the possibility of something going wrong with the Bomb... The *Bomb*, Dmitri... The *hydrogen* bomb!... Well now, what happened is... ahm... one of our base commanders, he had a sort of... well, he went a little funny in the head... you know... just a little... funny. And, ah... he went and did a silly thing... Well, I'll tell you what he did. He ordered his planes... to attack your country... Ah... Well, let me finish, Dmitri... Let me finish, Dmitri... Well listen, how do you think I feel about it?... Can you *imagine* how I feel about it, Dmitri?... Why do you think I'm calling you? Just to say hello?... *Of course* I like to speak to you!... *Of course* I like to say hello!... Not now, but anytime, Dmitri. I'm just calling up to tell you something terrible has happened... It's a *friendly* call. Of course it's a friendly call... Listen, if it wasn't friendly... you probably wouldn't have even got it... They will *not* reach their targets for at least another hour... I am... I am positive, Dmitri... Listen, I've been all over this with your ambassador. It is not a trick... Well, I'll tell you. We'd like to give your air staff a complete run-down on the targets, the flight plans, and the defensive systems of the planes... Yes! I mean i-i-i-if we're unable to recall the planes, then... I'd say that, ah... well, ah... we're just gonna have to help you destroy them, Dmitri... I know they're our boys... All right, well listen now. Who should we call?... *Who* should we call, Dmitri? The... wha-whe, the People... you, sorry, you faded away there... The People's Central Air Defense Headquarters... Where is that, Dmitri?... In Omsk... Right... Yes... Oh, you'll call them first, will you?... Uh-huh... Listen, do you happen to have the phone number on you, Dmitri?... Whe-ah, what? I see, just ask for Omsk information... Ah-ah-eh-uhm-hm... I'm sorry, too, Dmitri... I'm very sorry... *All right*, you're sorrier than I am, but I am as sorry as well... I am as sorry as you are, Dmitri! Don't say that you're more sorry than I am, because I'm capable of being just as sorry as you are... So we're both sorry, all right?... All right.
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Adm. Randolph : Try one of these Jamaican cigars, Ambassador. They're pretty good.
Ambassador de Sadesky : Thank you, no. I do not support the work of imperialist stooges.
Adm. Randolph : Oh, only commie stooges, huh?
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[Strangelove's plan for post-nuclear war survival involves living underground with a 10:1 female-to-male ratio]
General "Buck" Turgidson : Doctor, you mentioned the ratio of ten women to each man. Now, wouldn't that necessitate the abandonment of the so-called monogamous sexual relationship, I mean, as far as men were concerned?
Dr. Strangelove : Regrettably, yes. But it is, you know, a sacrifice required for the future of the human race. I hasten to add that since each man will be required to do prodigious... service along these lines, the women will have to be selected for their sexual characteristics which will have to be of a highly stimulating nature.
Ambassador de Sadesky : I must confess, you have an astonishingly good idea there, Doctor.
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[after learning of the Doomsday Machine]
President Merkin Muffley : But this is absolute madness, Ambassador! Why should you *build* such a thing?
Ambassador de Sadesky : There were those of us who fought against it, but in the end we could not keep up with the expense involved in the arms race, the space race, and the peace race. At the same time our people grumbled for more nylons and washing machines. Our doomsday scheme cost us just a small fraction of what we had been spending on defense in a single year. The deciding factor was when we learned that your country was working along similar lines, and we were afraid of a doomsday gap.
President Merkin Muffley : This is preposterous. I've never approved of anything like that.
Ambassador de Sadesky : Our source was the New York Times.
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President Merkin Muffley : I'm afraid I don't understand something, Alexi. Is your premier threatening to explode this if our planes succeed in carrying out their attack?
Ambassador de Sadesky : No, sir! It is not a thing a sane man would do. The doomsday machine is designed to to trigger itself automatically.
President Merkin Muffley : But surely you can disarm it somehow.
Ambassador de Sadesky : No! It is designed to explode if any attempt is ever made to untrigger it!
President Merkin Muffley : Automatically?
General "Buck" Turgidson : It's an obvious Commie trick, Mr. President. We are wasting valuable time! Look at the big board, they're getting ready to clobber us!
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Ambassador de Sadesky : The fools. The mad fools.
President Merkin Muffley : What's happened?
Ambassador de Sadesky : The doomsday machine.
President Merkin Muffley : The doomsday machine? What is that?
Ambassador de Sadesky : A device which will destroy all human and animal life on earth.
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[de Sadesky enters the War Room in a great coat, finishes the contents of a drinking glass, and places the glass on a banquet table covered with an ornate array of meats, breads, and pies]
Ambassador de Sadesky : You don't have any fresh fish?
Waiter : I'm afraid not, sir.
Ambassador de Sadesky : Your eggs, then, they are fresh?
Waiter : Oh, yes, sir.
Ambassador de Sadesky : I will have poached eggs. And bring me some cigars, please. Havana cigars.
Waiter : That will be all for you sir?
Ambassador de Sadesky : Yes.
Waiter : Then I'll see to it right away.
Gen. Faceman : Try one of these Jamaican cigars, ambassador, they're pretty good.
Ambassador de Sadesky : Thank you, no. I do not support the work of imperialist stooges.
[de Sadesky walks away]
Gen. Faceman : Oh, only commie stooges, huh?
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Aid calling Soviet Premier Dimitri Kissov : We haven't been able to reach Premier Kissov in the Kremlin. They say they don't know where he is and he won't be back for another two hours.
Ambassador de Sadesky : Try B86543 Moscow.
Aid calling Soviet Premier Dimitri Kissov : Yes sir.
Aid calling Soviet Premier Dimitri Kissov : You would have never have found him at his office, Mr. President. Our Premier is a man of the people, but he is also - a man. If you follow my meaning.
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General "Buck" Turgidson : Our studies show that even the worst fallout is down to a safe level after two weeks!
Ambassador de Sadesky : You've obviously never heard of cobalt chlorium G.
General "Buck" Turgidson : Well, what about it?
Ambassador de Sadesky : Cobalt chlorine G has a radioactive half-life of 93 years. If you take, say, 50 H-bombs in 100 megaton range and jacket them with cobalt chlorium G - when they are exploded, they will produce a doomsday shroud. An evil cloud of radioactivity which will encircle the earth for 93 years!
General "Buck" Turgidson : What a load of Commie bull.
