Sterling Hayden: Brig. Gen. Jack D. Ripper
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Quotes
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General Jack D. Ripper : Have you ever seen a Commie drink a glass of water?
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake : Well, no, I can't say I have.
General Jack D. Ripper : Vodka. That's what they drink, isn't it? Never water.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake : Well, I believe that's what they drink, Jack. Yes.
General Jack D. Ripper : On no account will a Commie ever drink water and not without good reason.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake : Yes. I - I doubt quite see what you're getting at, Jack.
General Jack D. Ripper : Water. That's what I'm getting at. Water.
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General Jack D. Ripper : Mandrake, do you recall what Clemenceau once said about war?
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake : No, I don't think I do, sir, no.
General Jack D. Ripper : He said war was too important to be left to the generals. When he said that, 50 years ago, he might have been right. But today, war is too important to be left to politicians. They have neither the time, the training, nor the inclination for strategic thought. I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.
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General Jack D. Ripper : Fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous communist plot we have ever had to face.
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General Jack D. Ripper : Mandrake, do you realize that in addition to fluoridating water, why, there are studies underway to fluoridate salt, flour, fruit juices, soup, sugar, milk... ice cream. Ice cream, Mandrake, children's ice cream.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake : [very nervous] Lord, Jack.
General Jack D. Ripper : You know when fluoridation first began?
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake : I... no, no. I don't, Jack.
General Jack D. Ripper : Nineteen hundred and forty-six. 1946, Mandrake. How does that coincide with your post-war Commie conspiracy, huh? It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hard-core Commie works.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake : Uh, Jack, Jack, listen... tell me, tell me, Jack. When did you first... become... well, develop this theory?
General Jack D. Ripper : [somewhat embarassed] Well, I, uh... I... I... first became aware of it, Mandrake, during the physical act of love.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake : Hmm.
General Jack D. Ripper : Yes, a uh, a profound sense of fatigue... a feeling of emptiness followed. Luckily I... I was able to interpret these feelings correctly. Loss of essence.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake : Hmm.
General Jack D. Ripper : I can assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women uh... women sense my power and they seek the life essence. I, uh... I do not avoid women, Mandrake.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake : No.
General Jack D. Ripper : But I... I do deny them my essence.
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General Jack D. Ripper : Were you ever a prisoner of war?
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake : Well... yes I was, matter of fact, Jack. I was.
General Jack D. Ripper : Did they torture you?
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake : Uh, yes they did. I was tortured by the Japanese. Jack, if you must know; not a pretty story.
General Jack D. Ripper : Well, what happened?
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake : Oh, well, I don't know, Jack, difficult to think of under these conditions; but, well... what happened was they got me on the old Rangoon-Ichinawa railway. I was laying train lines for the bloody Japanese puff-puff's.
General Jack D. Ripper : No, I mean when they tortured you. Did you talk?
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake : Ah, oh, no... well, I don't think they wanted me to talk really. I don't think they wanted me to say anything. It was just their way of having a bit of fun, the swines. Strange thing is they make such bloody good cameras.
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General Jack D. Ripper : Your Commie has no regard for human life, not even his own. And for this reason, men, I want to impress upon you the need for extreme watchfulness. The enemy may come individually, or he may come in strength. He may even come in the uniform of our own troops. But however he comes, we must stop him. We must not allow him to gain entrance to this base. Now, I'm going to give you THREE SIMPLE rules: First, trust NO one, whatever his uniform or rank, unless he is known to you personally; Second, anyone or anything that approaches within 200 yards of the perimeter is to be FIRED UPON; Third, if in doubt, shoot first then ask questions afterward. I would sooner accept a few casualties through accidents rather losing the entire base and its personnel through carelessness. Any variation of these rules must come from me personally. Any variation on these rules must come from me personally. Now, men, in conclusion, I would like to say that, in the two years it has been my privilege to be your commanding officer, I have always expected the best from you, and you have never given me anything less than that. Today, the nation is counting on us. We're not going to let them down. Good luck to you all.
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General Jack D. Ripper : Now, I don't *avoid* women, Mandrake, but I *do* deny them my essence!
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Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake : Erm, what about the planes, sir? Surely we must issue the recall code immediately.
General Jack D. Ripper : Group Captain, the planes are not gonna be recalled. My attack orders have been issued, and the orders stand.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake : Well, if you'll excuse me saying so, sir, that would be, to my way of thinking, rather... well, rather an odd way of looking at it. You see, if a Russian attack was in progress, we would certainly not be hearing civilian broadcast.
General Jack D. Ripper : Are you certain of that, Mandrake?
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake : Oh, I'm absolutely positive about it.
General Jack D. Ripper : And what if it is true?
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake : Well, I'm afraid I'm still not with you, sir, because, I mean, if a Russian attack was not in progress, then your use of Plan R - in fact, your order to the entire Wing... Oh. I would say, sir, that there were something dreadfully wrong somewhere.
General Jack D. Ripper : Now why don't you just take it easy, Group Captain, and please make me a drink of grain alcohol and rainwater, and help yourself to whatever you'd like.
[Mandrake snaps to attention and salutes]
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake : General Ripper, Sir, as an officer in Her Majesty's Air Force, it is my clear duty, under the present circumstances, to issue the recall code, upon my own authority, and bring back the Wing. If you'll excuse me, sir.
[He finds the doors locked]
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake : I'm afraid, sir, I must ask you for the key, and the recall code. Have you got them handy, sir?
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General Jack D. Ripper : Water is the source of all life. Seven tenths of this earth's surface is water. Why do you realize that 70% of you is water? And as human beings, you and I need fresh, pure water - to replenish our precious bodily fluids. Are you beginning to understand?
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake : [nervously] Yes.
General Jack D. Ripper : Mandrake. Mandrake, have you never wondered why I drink only distilled water or rainwater? And only pure grain alcohol?
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake : Well, it did occur to me, Jack, yes.
General Jack D. Ripper : Have you ever heard of a thing called fluoridation - fluoridation of water?
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake : Jack, yes, I have heard of that, Jack. Yes.
General Jack D. Ripper : Well, do you know what it is?
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake : No, I don't know what it is.
General Jack D. Ripper : Do you realise that fluoridation - is the most monstrously-conceived and dangerous Communist plot we have ever had to face?
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General Jack D. Ripper : The base is being put on Condition Red. I want this flashed to all sections immediately.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake : Condition Red, sir, yes, jolly good idea. That keeps the men on their toes.
General Jack D. Ripper : Group Captain, I'm afraid this is not an exercise.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake : Not an exercise, sir?
General Jack D. Ripper : I shouldn't tell you this, Mandrake, but you're a good officer and you've a right to know. It looks like we're in a shooting war.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake : Oh, hell. Are the Russians involved, sir?
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General Jack D. Ripper : Mandrake, come over here. The Redcoats are coming!
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Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake : Is it that bad, sir?
General Jack D. Ripper : Looks like it's pretty hairy.
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General Jack D. Ripper : Mandrake, I suppose it never occurred to you - that while we're chatting here so enjoyably, a decision is being made by the President and the Joint Chiefs in the War Room at the Pentagon. And when they realize there is no possibility of recalling the wing - - there will be only one course of action open: total commitment.
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General Jack D. Ripper : [pulls out a machine gun hidden in his golf bag] Cover over here and help me with this belt.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake : I, eh, I haven't had very much experience, you know, with those sort of machines, Jack. I only ever pressed a button in my old Spitfire.
General Jack D. Ripper : Mandrake, in the name of Her Majesty and the Continental Congress come here and feed me this belt, boy!
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake : [becoming increasingly nervous] Jack, I'd love to come. But, what's happened, you see, is the string in my leg's gone.
General Jack D. Ripper : The what?
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake : The string. I never told you, but you see, I've got a gammy leg. Oh dear. Gone. Shot off.
[Ripper karate-chops the receiver, cycling the action]
General Jack D. Ripper : Mandrake, come over here. The Red Coats are coming! Come on!
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[Window in Ripper's office is shot through by automatic weapons fire]
General Jack D. Ripper : [Walks to window] Two can play at this game, soldier!
[Immediately, more rounds ricochet through the office, cutting down the overhead desk lamp]
General Jack D. Ripper : That's nice shooting, soldier!
