- [Dimple has mistakenly arrived at a strip club instead of an aviary]
- Strip Club Manager: What do you want?
- Gabriel Dimple: Your birds, and I can't wait. Tell me, what sort are they?
- Strip Club Manager: What sort you like?
- Gabriel Dimple: Blue tits.
- Strip Club Manager: Eh?
- Gabriel Dimple: Have you got any?
- Strip Club Manager: No. No, this place is centrally heated.
- [Lily is being fondled by an amorous actor whose hands are all over her]
- Martin Paul: I *like* Helping Hands.
- Lily Duveen: [primly] And I don't like "helping yourself" hands.
- Lily Duveen: You know it'll take ninety-nine years to clear up this dump.
- Bert Handy: Yeah, well, step by step. That's the method. Little by little.
- Sam Twist: Okay then, boss, where do we start?
- Bert Handy: Well, I reckon to make it easier for us to walk about, we ought to sweep the floor first.
- Delia King: I don't wish to interfere, but I'd have thought it'd be better to start cleaning at the top of the house.
- Lily Duveen: Yes, quite right, I mean disturbed dust will only fall down and muck up what we've already cleaned up.
- Francis Courtenay: Ladies and gentlemen, may I submit, with the greatest of respect, and for the sake of efficient team working, that we all belt up!
- Bert Handy: Hear, hear!
- Lily Duveen: Always the gent!
- Sam Twist: Ooh, ain't he common!
- Francis Courtenay: Let us put ourselves in the hands of Mister Handy and listen to what he says.
- Delia King: Well, I bow to the majority, of course, but I'd like it noted that I did suggest the suggestion I suggested.
- Lily Duveen: And very suggestive it was, too!
- Sam Twist: Bet you this has something to do with atomic energy.
- Miss Cooling: Oh gracious! I do hope you don't finish up in Russia!
- Sam Twist: Well if I do, Miss Cooling, I shall behave myself as an ex Corporal of the Pioneer Corps should. Name, rank, number and keep your hand off my shovel, and that's your lot.
- Miss Cooling: Don't go! Think of brainwashing.
- Sam Twist: [chuckles] How can they wash what isn't there?
- Francis Courtenay: Taxi! Taxi! Can you take us to...
- Taxi Driver: [about his companion who happens to be a monkey] I'll take you, but not your brother.
- Francis Courtenay: We've had a long walk. We're tired.
- Taxi Driver: Why not climb in a tree for a kip?