- Secret Service Agent Peters: [spying, from high up in a building] What's going on down there?
- Secret Service Agent Rogers: [looking through a camera, doing a Jimmy Stewart impression] Oh, well, well, it seems like, it looks like Todd told Murdock off, and he's leaving. Of course, I can't see so well from this Rear Window.
- Abigail 'Abby' Parker: You told him to kiss me?
- Rick Todd: Lady, if I'd known he was going to kiss you, I wouldn't have sent a boy to do a man's job.
- Abigail 'Abby' Parker: [slap] That's for the man. You can tell him the job's filled.
- Rick Todd: Well, what's the rush? I never met a lady cartoonist before.
- Abigail 'Abby' Parker: [Sarcastically] All lady cartoonists are extremely grateful.
- Eugene Fullstack: No, I'm not cute. They wanted to have me drowned when I was born, but the SPCA stopped them.
- Eugene Fullstack: Those lovely lips, those red inviting, lucious lips - like two strips of liver gleaming in the moonlight!
- Mr. Murdock: You see that little window back there, boy?
- Eugene Fullstack: Yes, sir.
- Mr. Murdock: Open it a little, then jump.
- Mr. Murdock: Sixty-two pages of drawings and no blood? Not even an itsy-bitsy nosebleed? But suffering catfish, do you call this a Murdock Book for Kiddies with no stranglings, with no decapitations? Where are they?
- Bessie Sparrowbrush: You know, numerology's a science. I take the numbers - the day, the month and the year that I was born. I add the day, the month and the year that Eugene was born, and that answer I divide with my street address. Then I add that to my social security number, and with that answer I divide with Eugene's social security number. Then I multiply that by the number of dancing lessons I take. And, the number of calories I eat in one day I subtract from that, and I multiply the whole thing by the time and that's the end of it.
- Abigail 'Abby' Parker: How's it work out?
- Bessie Sparrowbrush: Zero -- Eugene again.
- Rick Todd: Real nice, Murdock. Very nice. Couple more issues and you and I will make 'em forget Hitler.
- Mr. Murdock: Now wait a minute. Don't get squeamish, Todd.