Minoru Chiaki credited as playing...
Heihachi
- Heihachi Hayashida: Haven't you ever seen anyone cut firewood before?
- Gorobei Katayama: You seem to enjoy it.
- Heihachi Hayashida: That's just the way I am. Yah!
- [he chops another log]
- Gorobei Katayama: You're good!
- Heihachi Hayashida: Not really. It's a lot harder than killing enemies. Yah!
- [he splits another log]
- Gorobei Katayama: Have you killed many?
- Heihachi Hayashida: Since it's impossible to kill them all - yah!
- [he splits another log]
- Heihachi Hayashida: I usually run away.
- Gorobei Katayama: A splendid principle.
- Heihachi Hayashida: Thank you. Yah!
- Heihachi Hayashida: I'm Heihachi Hayashida, a fencer of the Wood Cutting School.
- [Gorobei bursts into giggles. Kambei looks unamused]
- Heihachi Hayashida: [after Kikuchiyo made the peasants exit their homes by sounding the alarm, and scolded them] We are now seven.
- Kikuchiyo: What are you making?
- Heihachi Hayashida: A flag.
- Kikuchiyo: A flag?
- Heihachi Hayashida: Something to hold up, hoist high, you know? Something to stir our fighting spirit.
- [Heihachi presents his design; he has drawn six circles, one triangle, and at the bottom, the Japanese character "ta." Kikuchiyo points to the "ta"]
- Kikuchiyo: What do those symbols mean?
- Heihachi Hayashida: That means "rice" but it can also mean "farmer".
- Kikuchiyo: What about those circles?
- Heihachi Hayashida: They're us.
- Kikuchiyo: What the hell? Why aren't I there? There's only six of them!
- Heihachi Hayashida: The triangle is you, Sir Kikuchiyo.
- Shichiroji: Good one!
- [the samurai burst out laughing]
- Old Woman: I don't want to live any more. But I'm afraid the next world will be terrible, too...
- Heihachi Hayashida: No, no. It's paradise. No bandits or anything. It's very nice.
- Kikuchiyo: [loudly] How do you know? Ever been dead?
- Heihachi Hayashida: [to Kikuchiyo] You needn't yell at me.
- Kikuchiyo: Something's upsetting the little bugger, but he won't say what. You can see it all over his face.
- Heihachi Hayashida: Those lips of his are bolted up tight as a house.
- Heihachi Hayashida: If you lame that horse, Yohei will cry.
- Kikuchiyo: With a great rider, any horse can be ridden!
- Heihachi Hayashida: [to Rikichi] I see that married couples work a lot better than anyone else. You should get married, huh?
- [Rikichi becomes angry and runs away]
- Heihachi Hayashida: Hey, come back! I was just kidding!