- Connie Bedloe: Mr. Spangenberg, I want no brains, no feet, and no tails. I want something from the middle of the beast.
- Emil Spangenberg: Tripe.
- Connie Bedloe: No tripe! I want four lamb chops.
- Connie Bedloe: [walking past the local butcher] I'm going in and buying four lamb chops for dinner.
- Phyllis Archibald: What are you going to use for money?
- Connie Bedloe: Eh? My cigarette allowance.
- Phyllis Archibald: You could never quit smoking.
- Connie Bedloe: I just did. Coming in?
- Phyllis Archibald: Not me. It would be like turning a drunk loose in a brewery.
- Phyllis Archibald: You can do pretty well with a little ingenuity. The dinner I fixed for Archie last night only cost 76 cents: a cheese ring with mackerel. Of course, we were both sick all night.
- Joe Bedloe: What about the budget? You said for the rest of the week we'd be eating codfish balls.
- Connie Bedloe: Oh, I juggled the budget a bit.
- Joe Bedloe: How?
- Connie Bedloe: Gave up smoking. Good thing, too. I've been meaning to give it up for some time.
- Joe Bedloe: First I've heard of it.
- Connie Bedloe: Oh, sure! Pregnant women shouldn't smoke.
- Joe Bedloe: Oh, don't give me that. I've been up at Dr. Shoop's Waiting Room. It's like a forest fire up there.
- Connie Bedloe: [singing] Little lamb chops, Little lamb chops, You are so very good, Little lamb chops, Little lamb chops, You are so very good, I love my little lamb chops, Little lamb chops, I love
- Connie Bedloe, Joe Bedloe: I love my little lamb chops. Little lamb chops, I love!
- Connie Bedloe: Joe, the neighbors.
- Joe Bedloe: Oh, let 'em look. It's time the men around here learn how to kiss their wives, anyhow.
- Connie Bedloe: Mrs. Richards across the street asked me the other day if you were a test pilot.
- Joe Bedloe: Well, what gave her that idea?
- Connie Bedloe: She said you kiss me in the morning like you weren't sure you were coming home at night.
- Opie Bedloe: I figured you'd be skinny and ugly.
- Connie Bedloe: But, I am!
- Opie Bedloe: You sure are, doll. But, not nearly so skinny and ugly as I figured.
- Joe Bedloe: Don't forget to take your pills, Connie.
- Connie Bedloe: I'll take them later.
- Joe Bedloe: Take them now where I can see you.
- Connie Bedloe: Slave driver!
- Opie Bedloe: Pregnant women gotta eat meat!
- Connie Bedloe: Yes.
- Opie Bedloe: You can't have no good baby eatin' pills and fish.
- Connie Bedloe: If you'd brought me jewels or minks or even money, I could have said no without batting an eye. But - steak. Oh, heaven forgive me.
- Opie Bedloe: You old coyote!
- Joe Bedloe: You crazy sidewinder!
- Opie Bedloe: You horny toad!
- Joe Bedloe: You ugly varmint!
- Dean Edward Magruder: Some of us feel honored to teach in a small college. We carry on! Quietly, modestly, unselfishly. I, for example, have turned down numerous opportunities - as the country's foremost authority on Indian Law. I'm naturally in great demand.
- Joe Bedloe: Students, I've just finished reading your examination papers on Shakespeare and I congratulate you. Your lack of understanding is truly spectacular. Now, look, you guys, you seem to have the idea that Shakespeare is something dusty and ancient. Well, he's not. He's brand new. He's streamlined. He's just as true today as he was 400 years ago. We can all profit from Shakespeare. He's got something to say to all of us. To you and you and you.
- Joe Bedloe: I wouldn't exactly like to live with him again, but, I guess, it would be tolerable.
- Connie Bedloe: It might be tolerable living in a tank of barracudas too.
- Joe Bedloe: Now, Connie, don't you think you're painting him a little black?
- Connie Bedloe: I'm painting him black? I've never even laid eyes on the man. I'm just quoting you. It couldn't be that you've painted him a little black, could it?
- Joe Bedloe: No. He's a very difficult man, that father of mine, very difficult. But he's not black! A little gray maybe, but, not black.
- Opie Bedloe: There is nothin' as good as meat. Nothin' in all this world.
- Connie Bedloe: Yes, my little cattleman. Would you like me to tuck you in?
- Opie Bedloe: Imagine a fellow like Joe bein' a teacher. Teachin's for women who can't find husbands.
- Joe Bedloe: Every 30 years there's another generation of Americans. A whole new nation. 150 million new people. What's the guarantee that they're Americans? Why don't they just turn into 160 million people with powerful airplanes and big bombs and an itch to rule the world? I'll tell you why. Because they've got a heritage. They've got a Constitution and a Bill of Rights and a Declaration of Independence and a tradition of fair play. And how do they know it? Because the teachers of America tell it to them. Not only tell it them, but sell it to them.
- Joe Bedloe: Connie, where are you?
- Connie Bedloe: Out here.
- Joe Bedloe: What are you doing?
- Connie Bedloe: What am I always doing? Fixing dinner.
- Joe Bedloe: You're a treacherous, devious, perfidious, double-dealing wench!
- Connie Bedloe: Yes, my Lord.
- Joe Bedloe: Aren't you ashamed of yourself?
- Connie Bedloe: Oh, yes, my Lord.
- Joe Bedloe: Well, in that case...
- [Joe kisses Connie]
- Archie Archibald: [about the sirloin roast they had for dinner] What do you mean it didn't cost much? Platinum is cheaper than steak.
- Phyllis Archibald: Well, you see, Dean Magruder, Dean Parker's name was Dean: Dean Dean Parker. That's very amusing, don't you think?
- Phyllis Archibald: How'd you get my secret recipe?
- Connie Bedloe: Oh, I like secrets.
- Phyllis Archibald: So do I. It gives you something to talk about.
- Joe Bedloe: Isn't it wonderful, Connie.
- Connie Bedloe: What?
- Joe Bedloe: That our friends are going to have plenty of meat.
- Connie Bedloe: Oh, peachy!
- Connie Bedloe: Opie, when are you going to get it through your head that teaching isn't a business. It's a calling. It's something you make sacrifices for; because you believe in it.
- Opie Bedloe: Why shouldn't I sell it? This is nothin' but a piece of property.
- Tom: Yeah, Opie.
- Opie Bedloe: It ain't nothin' but dirt and grass and cattle.
- Tom: Yeah, dreams and hopes and blood.
- Opie Bedloe: Well, now that's *real* pretty. Maybe you ought to go up East and teach poetry.
- Mother of Twins: What she went through... I happen to know she was in labor for exactly twenty minutes. My husband delivered the baby.
- Connie Bedloe: Are you married to a doctor?
- Mother of Twins: Traffic cop!
- Connie Bedloe: Plenty of love and plenty of pride in my man.
- Joe Bedloe: Why? Because I'm such a good provider?
- Connie Bedloe: Oh, look darling. My father was a teacher. And his father before him. I knew I wasn't getting in for a life of ease when i married you.