- Mrs. Birdie Hicks: [after getting the Kettles evicted] Good day.
- Ma Kettle: [grabs Birdie] Listen here Birdie, it may be a good day for you, but it ain't for Pa. All the poor man wanted was a new tobacco pouch and instead he won a house he didn't want and he got a bad sunburn.
- Ma Kettle: [She and Pa are watching themselves on the news, and they're showing more children than just their 15] Turn that thing off before our family gets any bigger!