- Maisie Ravier, an alias of Mary Anastasia O'Connor: To each to their own tastes, said the woman as she kissed the cow.
- Al Walpole, the Main Butler: [about Mr. Robert's drinking] He's just going through a phase right now, that's all
- Maisie Ravier, an alias of Mary Anastasia O'Connor: yeah a phase, on the barroom floor
- Link Phillips: [after its exposed he's only getting married for the money] Well what are you looking at?
- Maisie Ravier, an alias of Mary Anastasia O'Connor: Nothing. I'm nearsighted... I can't see that far down
- Maisie Ravier, an alias of Mary Anastasia O'Connor: [after having lost her job due to Bob's drunken antics] Maybe life's a jolly 4th of July picnic for you, brother, but it certainly isn't for me. You cancelled out my meal ticket, its the middle of the night, there's no trains or buses until morning, and I got exactly 2 dimes and 45 miles between me and New York. Well what are you going to do about it?
- Robert 'Bob': I'll take you
- Maisie Ravier, an alias of Mary Anastasia O'Connor: How? Piggy back?
- Robert 'Bob': No, no, no, no... in my car. Sure, we'll have a little drink here with Curly and then we'll shove off, what do you say?
- Maisie Ravier, an alias of Mary Anastasia O'Connor: In a word "No"... I don't need to see the newspaper picture of the accident to know how I'd look sprinkled all over the highway.
- Motorcycle Policeman: [riding next to Maisie who is driving a convertible] Pull Over.
- Maisie Ravier, an alias of Mary Anastasia O'Connor: Look Officer, I'm in kind of a hurry... so if you're lonesome and want to talk can't we just ride along like this?
- Robert 'Bob': Kiss me goodbye, my sweet, for we shall never see each other again.
- Maisie Ravier, an alias of Mary Anastasia O'Connor: Oh, ho. Yes we will, honey. I've got a bad habit of looking at dummies in department store windows.
- Maisie Ravier, an alias of Mary Anastasia O'Connor: Thanks to you and your swell sense of humor, that little joke of yours cost me my job.
- Robert 'Bob': My child, those who scoff at science are destined to failure
- Maisie Ravier, an alias of Mary Anastasia O'Connor: Look, bud, I've had all of you I can take. I gotta watch my blood pressure.
- Maisie Ravier, an alias of Mary Anastasia O'Connor: You know, there was a pinhead worked at the carnival with me. Funny, he never said anything about having a son on the police force. But I guess he had his pride, same as anybody else.