- June Cameron: Look, Johnny. I don't know anything about marriage.
- John R. Pierce: Oh, what's that got to do with it? Dante didn't have to go to hell to write his "Inferno."
- June Cameron: [to Timothy] Now, listen to me, my microscopic friend, you might be able to give orders to thay barnacle you're engaged to, but the last time a man tries it on me, I was six, and he was seven, and for one solid hour I beat him over the head with my all-day sucker!
- Dr. Timothy Sterling: Well, gentlemen, as you well know, 75 is the passing grade, and so far you've confined all your passing to the football field.
- June Cameron: [after Tim delivers a baby in a rural farmhouse] Another president?
- Dr. Timothy Sterling: No. I'm afraid it's another career woman. I've never seen so much kicking and screaming in my life.
- June Cameron: She'll get over it.
- Dr. Lionel Sterling: Have you two had a quarrel?
- June Cameron: Yes. Yes, he hit me.
- Dr. Lionel Sterling: You didn't?
- June Cameron: Yes, he did.
- Dr. Timothy Sterling: Well, I only pushed her.
- Dr. Lionel Sterling: You only pushed her? Tim, I shouldn't have to remind you that this is not the Neolithic age.
- Dr. Timothy Sterling: Well, how would you like it if someone said that your father was a pompous, opinionated old windbag?
- June Cameron: I didn't say that.
- Dr. Lionel Sterling: I would be honest enough to admit that the person was absolutely right.
- June Cameron: Pop, he's lying. I never said that.
- Dr. Lionel Sterling: I don't care who said it, my dear, it's true. I talk too much. Your mother always said that.
- Dr. Timothy Sterling: [holding a bottle of liquor] Ten years old.
- June Cameron: That's more than I can say for you.
- John R. Pierce: You know, he's stubborn.
- June Cameron: That's an understatement.
- Dr. Timothy Sterling: [from the bedroom] Where are my pants!
- June Cameron: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. That man in there really isn't my husband. He's a... he's a prowler!
- Reporter: Lady, I don't care what your husband does for a living.
- June Cameron: You know, you and that little bundle of boredom are going to make a charming couple. And when people don't ask you out, don't blame it all on her.
- Dr. Timothy Sterling: You know, it strikes me you're laboring under the impression that you're superior to Marilyn. Well, maybe in sarcasm, yes. But when it comes to... why, you couldn't lure me out of a burning building.
- June Cameron: You know, marriage is no longer the answer to a maiden's prayer. Oh, slaving over a hot stove all day is all right for some of the more backward members of our sex, but there's a new kind of woman coming into the fore... the kind who refuse to subordinate her personality to that of the egotistical male.
- Dr. Timothy Sterling: [to June] You're so brittle that one of these cold days you're gonna break up into a million pieces, and when that happens, I want a seat right in the grandstand!
- Dr. Timothy Sterling: [Referring to June's whiskey] Well, ten years old.
- June Cameron: More than I can say for you!
- June Cameron: [to Timothy] Now, in spite of what you and little Chester here may think, the modern woman can match you men fiber for fiber and have a rib left over.
- Dr. Timothy Sterling: You shouldn't read trash like that.
- June Cameron: I didn't read it. I wrote it.
- Dr. Timothy Sterling: Oh, I'm sorry.
- June Cameron: You know, Johnny and I were discussing only yesterday how quietly repulsive you are.
- Dr. Timothy Sterling: Johnny loves everything about you - your books, your profits, your apartment, your liquor, your cigarettes.
- Dr. Timothy Sterling: Hello! Yes! Yes, this is Dr. Sterling. A What? A severed pneumogastric? Well, I'll be right over.
- Dr. Timothy Sterling: Here's examination question number one. How many bones are there in the human body, Mr. O'Brien?
- O'Brien: Well, uh, there must be dozens.
- Dr. Timothy Sterling: [winces] Well, I can't exactly call that wrong. Good luck on Saturday.
- Slapcovitch: Doc, there's something on our minds.
- Dr. Timothy Sterling: You amaze me, Mr. Slapcovitch. What is it?
- Dr. Timothy Sterling: Oh, no. Don't go to bed, please. I'm not a bit tired. Why, I once sat up 72 hours in a straight-jacket case.
- June Cameron: You know, a discussion on the mayelin sheath of the cerebrospinal nerve fiber is good any time.
- Dr. Timothy Sterling: Where did you pick that up?
- June Cameron: Oh, I've been looking through some of our wedding presents.
- New York Editor: Oh - they're not married? Then we'll have to print that the man in her bedroom is *not* her husband.