- Paul Dodson: Without my wife, I'm comparatively alone in the world. Even with my wife, I'm comparatively alone in the world.
- Mamie - Carolyn's maid: Well, you know what Mr Lincoln said - you can fool some of the people all of the time, and some of the people some of the time, but you can't *fool* some of the people some of the time.
- Mamie - Carolyn's maid: Can't see why white men folks don't want their women folks to work. I had to git to work the minute I got married. My husband retired with the Marriage Certificate.
- [laughs]
- Carolyn Martin: I'm not going to the door!
- Hugh McKenzie: It won't do any good. The florist always rings twice.
- Mattie Dodson: Hey genius, do you imbibe?
- Mr. Donovan - collector for Acme Furniture: No, but i'll have a drink.
- Mr. Donovan - collector for Acme Furniture: Six o'clock! And the warehouse closes at five. If we hurry, we can just make it. Let's go boys.
- Michael Martin: We're married you know.
- Neighbor on Stairs: Well, that certainly takes a load off my mind.
- [When given a stick to use as a riding crop.]
- Paul Dodson: I like this. Brings out the wife-beater in me.
- Mr. Donovan - collector for Acme Furniture: I'm here to get the third payment on your sixth installment.
- Michael Martin: Nothing can touch us on this day. The gods are with us.
- Paul Dodson: Yeah, but the red light's against us.
- Paul Dodson: [seeing Carolyn crying right after the wedding] She's starting early. You usually don't get tears until after the honeymoon.