- Alexander Stream: Oscar, you ought to settle down and have a family.
- Oscar: Well, a family's a good thing for a man, Mr. Stream, and especially a married man. But, my model with women is just love 'em and leave 'em.
- Hettie Stream: Social success is just as important to a woman as financial power or any other achievement is to a man.
- Alexander Stream: Oscar, what do you do on your nights off? I mean, when you haven't had anything definite to do?
- Oscar: Oh, I spend a couple of hours at the public library.
- Alexander Stream: Studying?
- Oscar: Well, no, not exactly. I usually hang around until I get acquainted.
- Alexander Stream: Acquainted?
- Oscar: Well, you see, sir, its a good place to pick up girls with ideas. You know, the kind that read romances and they're full of notions about love and and they're rarin' to go. Now, you take the girls that hang around dance halls, well, they're different. They're too smart and you just can't get to first base with them.
- Alexander Stream: I see. What else do you do?
- Oscar: Oh, take in a picture show or maybe the fights at the Garden or get on top of one of the buses and peep in the windows.
- Oscar: You pay me 40 a week. Well, I could use more.
- Alexander Stream: Yeah?
- Oscar: Well, heck, I get along swell and if you did give me any more, why, some big blonde would probably take it away from me.
- Alexander Stream: You haven't eaten very much.
- Lilly Linda: I'm on a diet. You see, food goes right to my hips. And if I lose my figure, I lose my job.
- Alexander Stream: It's lonesome around here. Have you ever been lonesome, Caldwell?
- Marc Caldwell--Butler: Only once, sir.
- Alexander Stream: Only once?
- Marc Caldwell--Butler: It lasted a better part of the afternoon. It was the day that my wife eloped with the trumpeter of the Kentish light cavalry.
- Alexander Stream: Oh, that's very sad, Caldwell. How did you console yourself?
- Marc Caldwell--Butler: Well, sir, I hope you'll overlook it, sir, but, so long as you asked me, sir, I consoled myself with a cup of tea and a pantry maid. And a very charming little lady she was too, sir.
- Alexander Stream: Do I have it you're a devil with the ladies, Caldwell?
- Marc Caldwell--Butler: Oh, not exactly, sir, but, well I have had my moments.
- Alexander Stream: You know, Lilly, I like to be with you. You make me feel happier, more contented.
- Lilly Linda: You mean that or are you just talking?
- Alexander Stream: Of course, I mean it. I think I'm just a little bit crazy about you.
- Lilly Linda: Well, why don't you kiss me?
- [kiss]
- Lou Colima: Take him out and throw a couple of drinks into him. Get chummy! You know, fiddle around a little. And then, watch. He'll lay himself wide open.
- Lilly Linda: [singing] If the breaks ain't comin' right, And you're slippin just a mite, Paint your body lily white, just shake your powder puff...
- Alexander Stream: Well, it looks like we'll have to stay here all night.
- Lilly Linda: Oh, goodie, goodie, goodie!
- Alexander Stream: Oh? You like the idea?
- Lilly Linda: Oh, I think it would be thrilling. It appeals to my gypsy blood.
- Lou Colima: Why don't you get smart to yourself? That guys just itchin' for somebody to take him. Or, you're gonna be one of them dumb dames that gives away a million dollars worth of her time and never gets a dime for it?
- Hettie Stream: Tell me, what's your wife like?
- Alexander Stream: Oh, she's swell. She's a grand person.
- Alexander Stream: Ever camp out in the woods all night?
- Lilly Linda: No, that's one place I've missed.
- Alexander Stream: You're about to have the experience.
- Lilly Linda: Think of my reputation.
- Alexander Stream: Why, don't you trust me.
- Lilly Linda: No, I don't.
- [Lilly smiles, Alex laughs]
- Lilly Linda: Oh, you're married?
- Alexander Stream: Yes.
- Lilly Linda: Why are all the nice guys in this town married?
- Tommy Stream: Do you think you're going to like it over in London, Oscar?
- Oscar: Well, I'll like it better when I learn to speak their language.
- Lou Colima: Get outta here? Why, I picked you up when you didn't have a dime. Yeah, I gave you a job in my show when nobody would even look at you. And now you're gonna welch on me? Well, no dumb, soft-headed tomatoes gonna gyp me out of a million bucks.