- Mr Wakefield: Forget, forget. That's all you can do. If it weren't for me I'd like to know where you'd end up!
- Flora Wakefield: In the bankruptcy courts dear.
- Mr Wakefield: Yes, and then you'd forget to turn up.
- Alf the Conductor: As a matter of fact I'm now in the middle of a work on the occult.
- Fred the Driver: That's funny - I 'ad a brother who was an oculist.
- Alf the Conductor: The occult is the study of the supernatural!
- Fred the Driver: You always was superstitious...
- Alf the Conductor: And rightfully so. My mother and father first met on the Friday the 13th on some sand dunes.
- Fred the Driver: Oh - did they blame it on the date or the dunes?
- Alf the Conductor: What do you mean blame? The day I was born a cross-eyed man came to the front door.
- Fred the Driver: That accounts for a lot of things, that does.