- Freaks: We accept you, one of us! Gooble Gobble!
- [referring to a "half-man/half-woman" who has given Hercules an alluring look]
- Roscoe: I think she likes you - but he don't.
- Roscoe: [he married one of the Siamese twins, the one who doesn't drink alcohol; he says to the other twin] I'm not going to have my wife lying in bed half the day with one of YOUR hangovers.
- Carnival Barker: We didn't lie to you folks. We told you we had living, breathing, monstrosities. You laughed at them, shuddered at them. And, yet, but for the accident of birth, you might be one as they are. They did not ask to be brought into the world. But, into the world they came. Their code is a law unto themselves: offend one and you offend them all.
- Madame Tetrallini: [to the freaks after the Rollo Brothers leave] Shame. Shame! How many times have I told you not to be frightened. Have I not told you, God looks after all His children!
- Roscoe: [whenever he asks only one of the two Siamese twins to stay, and the twins have to leave together] You always use that as a excu-excuse, an alib-b-b-bi.
- Cleopatra: [Invites Hercules into her circus wagon for a meal. Picks up an egg] How many?
- Hercules: Oh, I'm not very hungry. About six.
- Cleopatra: [Hands on her hips, she sticks out her bosom in a low-cut outfit] How do you like them?
- Hercules: [looking at "them", meaning her bosom, he smiles] Not bad.
- [grabs her]
- Cleopatra: Oh, you are strong. You are squeezing me to death.
- Hercules: And you'll like it!
- Cleopatra: Oh, you are taking my breath away.
- Phroso: Don't go out filling your hide with a lot of booze celebrating. 'Cause fun what's got that way never done NO one no good. Get me?
- Venus: I got ya.
- Venus: [stops and takes a closer look at Phroso] Say, you're a pretty good kid!
- Phroso: You're darn right I am! You should have caught me before my operation!
- Venus: [she has just been kicked out of Hercules' trailer; she is very upset; yells at Phroso, who is just standing there minding his own business] Well, what are you staring at? Didn't you ever see a lady move before? I guess you've been listening to every word he said.
- Venus: [Phroso still hasn't said a word; she has a loud tone of voice] That's it. That's it! Go ahead and laugh. It's funny, ain't it?
- Venus: [Phroso still hasn't said a word; her voice is sarcastic] Yeah. Women are funny, ain't they? They're all tramps, ain't they?
- Venus: Ye-e-eah. Except when you can get MONEY from them!
- [she storms off, goes into the trailer next door]
- Phroso: [finally gets mad at Venus for dumping on him; he rushes over to her trailer.] Well, I'll be! Say, who do you think you are, shooting off your head? Hey, this is Phroso -- Phroso you're talking to! Not any of those thugs you've been chasing around with.
- Venus: [apologizing, soft tone of voice] Oh, I didn't mean you. I had to take it out on somebody.
- Cleopatra: [yelling at the Freaks, who just had a "We Accept Her" party for Cleo] Get out of here! Make me one of you, will you?
- Cleopatra: [to Hans] Well, what are you going to do? What are you, a man or a baby?
- Hans: [humiliated by the way she treated his Freak friends] Please, please. You make me ashamed.
- Cleopatra: [mocks him] Ashamed? You?
- Cleopatra: [sarcastically] Ooh! Holy jumping Christmas!
- Phroso: [talking to Venus, who is all upset because she has just been dumped by Hercules] You ought to be tickled to death you're washed up with him. You're not so hard to look at. Give yourself a tumble. You'll make the grade. Your breaks is comin'.
- Man bringing Frieda's Horse: [brings her a midget pony; talking German] Fräulein Frieda? Ich hab den Gürtel enger gemacht.
- [Miss Frieda? I tightened the belt.]
- Frieda: [pulls on horse's belt to test it; talking German] Es ist viel besser. Der war immer hinunter gerutscht.
- [It is much better. It had always slipped down.]
- Frieda: It was too low. Danke schön.
- Cleopatra: [faking that she has a pain in her left shoulder] Oh! Oww!
- Hans: [concerned, immediately goes to her] What's the matter, Cleo? What's the matter?
- Cleopatra: Oh, I think I strained my shoulder last night. Give it a rub, will you?
- Cleopatra: [pulls the left side of her blouse way down, exposing part of her back, her underarm, and part of her bosom] Farther.
- Cleopatra: [tries hard not to laugh; Hercules and the 2 Circus Workers can't keep from laughing] Farther down, down. Over, over.
- Cleopatra: [pretending she is getting turned on, by Hans enthusiastically massaging her] Oh, it's so good to be rubbed.
- Circus Worker: [and Another Circus Worker, holding out poker cards to Cleopatra, facetiously] Our cards, lady!
- Cleopatra: What for?
- Circus Worker: [and Another Circus Worker] A couple of rubbers from Berlin.
- [they all laugh]
- Hans: [very angry, in German] Ihr können nicht über meine Frau so sprechen! Ihr gehören auf die Strassen! Ihr niedrigen, dreckigen Schweinen!
- [You can't talk about my woman like that! You belong on the streets! You low-down, dirty pigs!]
- Hercules: [and the 2 Circus Workers, laughing hysterically] Ha, ha, ha!
- Frieda: [Frieda visits Hans at his trailer, to talk about Cleopatra] Now that I'm here, I don't know how to say it, how to make you understand. If you knew how I feel, Hans, to come to you about her.
- Hans: Oh, Frieda, I'm so sorry. I don't want to hurt you, but ich kann es nicht helfen.
- [but I can not help it]
- Frieda: If you could be happy, Hans, I would not care.
- Hans: But I am happy, Frieda. Never in my life was I so happy.
- Frieda: No, Hans. You think it only. For you, she cannot bring happiness... To me, you're a man. But to her, you're only something to laugh at.
- Carnival Barker: And now folks, if you will just step this way, you are about to witness a most amazing, the most outstanding living monstrosity of all time.
- [Woman screams]
- Phroso: [talking to Venus, who is all upset because she has just been dumped by Hercules] Yeah, you dames is all alike. You're sharpshooting. You're cheap! And how you're squealing, you get what's comin' to ya!
- Venus: [Venus is all upset because she has just been dumped by Hercules; she is talking to Phroso] What gets me so cockeyed sore at myself, is that I fell for that big hunk of beef!
- Cleopatra: You dirty, slimy, freaks! Freaks, freaks, freaks! You fools! Make me one of you, will you?
- Phroso: [talking to Venus, who is all upset because she has just been dumped by Hercules] So, you finally got wise to yourself, did ya? It's a funny thing about you women. Most of you don't get wise soon enough! You wait until you're so old, nobody wants ya.
- Madame Tetrallini: When I get the chance, I like to take them out into the sunlight and let them play like children. That's what most of them are, children.
- Rollo Brother: [Sneers at Prince Randian and the Half Boy] Children, eh?