- Dora Swale: [as Mike enters the restaurant where she is a waitress] Hello, pollywog.
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: Hello, Dora.
- [while looking for an empty booth to sit in, he overhears a couple talking loudly]
- Unseen Female I: Whaddyou care if they're sharp or not? You can rub your beard off with a towel.
- Unseen Male I: Wait'll you start to shave. Alright, alright, what about free love?
- Unseen Female I: There's nothing free about MY love, Romeo. Just remember that.
- Unseen Male I: You for sale?
- Unseen Female I: Let's broaden the conversation.
- Unseen Male I: When I get on a subject I like to stay with it. Hey, how about that butter?
- [Disgusted with what he's hearing Mike gets up and moves to a different booth]
- Unseen Female II: Stop it!
- Unseen Male II: [Brays stupidly] I'm gonna find out things for myself. How do I know? Ya may be knock-kneed.
- [Brays again]
- Unseen Female II: I thoughtcha came to college to develop your brain.
- Unseen Male II: Aw, who cares about brains? I come from a long line of people who work with their hands.
- [Brays yet again, and we hear a slap]
- Unseen Male II: Alright, alright, whaddya wanna talk about?
- [Girl giggles incessantly]
- Unseen Male II: That's not so funny.
- [Mike rolls his eyes and moves a second time]
- Dora Swale: Are you working out for the track team or is this a new game?
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: I don't like free love with my meals.
- Boy in next booth: Trouble is with you, you're old fashioned.
- Girl in next booth: Maybe so, but what was good enough for my grandmother is good enough for me.
- [She picks up her purse and starts to leave]
- Boy in next booth: Well I don't want to be honorable with you unless it's absolutely necessary.
- Girl in next booth: I'll call ya up sometime when I break training.
- [laughs and walks out]
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: Don't they ever talk about anything else?
- Dora Swale: What else is there to talk about? How about somethin' to eat?
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: Oh, I don't know what I want.
- Dora Swale: Gimme three guesses?
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: People ever talk about marriage any more?
- Dora Swale: Some of the older people.
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: Why don't you get married? What do you hang around a dump like this for?
- Dora Swale: Scrambled eggs are nice.
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: You're a good-lookin' girl.
- Dora Swale: Ya think so?
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: You're bright...
- Dora Swale: Oh, I get it. Bein' bright don't getcha nowhere--just lookin' dumb. When I first got this job, I usta go home nights and study grammar. I thought it might help me if I talked better. But after goin' out with a couple of these apes around here, I threw the grammar out the window and went in for self-defense.
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: Well, after all creation didn't stop when they made THESE gorillas. You oughta know some nice fellas that...
- Dora Swale: Sure, you mean in my own class.
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: Oh well, I didn't mean...
- Dora Swale: Oh, it's ok. Listen precious, it ain't much fun after workin' hard all day and goin' home nights and just goin' to bed, but it's much better than sittin' around the rest of your life listenin' to some iceman's helper yawnin' himself to sleep.
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: Yeah, I guess you got life pretty tough at that.
- Dora Swale: Oh, I ain't complainin'--not as long as YOU think I'm goodlookin'.
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: What's that got to do with it?
- Dora Swale: Oh, it just helps me go on.
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: Don't look at me--I'm gonna be a missionary.
- Dora Swale: You'd make a SWELL missionary.
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: [not sure if he's been insulted] What do you mean by that?
- Dora Swale: Oh, you arouse my savage instincts.
- [Mike grins broadly.]
- Dora Swale: She hit ya pretty hard, didn't she?
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: Whaddya mean?
- Dora Swale: How about the chicken patties? We're trying to get rid of them.
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: Alright, wheel 'em in.
- Dora Swale: [shouting] Chicken patties for one!
- Student at Dormitory: [looking bewildered while laying under a tree with a girl who's playing with his tie] I don't know just how to take you.
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: [checking out Duke's car] It's a new one, isn't it?
- Duke Galloway: Oh, just a little trinket that dropped out of Papa's pocket.
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: Gee, the old one was all right. This one seems more like a hotel.
- Duke Galloway: Heh, yeah, only better, you don't have to register.
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: Is that all you think about?
- Duke Galloway: Life, liberty and the pursuit of women.
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: [sees Betty walking by] Hey.
- Betty Cameron: Oh. Hello, Michael.
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: Well, how's your biology?
- Betty Cameron: Well, you may not know it, but cytomorphosis is a protoplasm, but isn't the nucleus.
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: Think of that.
- Betty Cameron: [Michael stands outside the diner, watching Duke flirt with Betty at Duke's car. Betty sees Michael, smiles] Hello, Michael.
- [Michael approaches]
- Duke Galloway: *Well*, where've you been? We've been looking all over for you.
- Betty Cameron: Still angry, Michael?
- Duke Galloway: [teasingly] Michael, have you been angry?
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: I hope you'll pardon the intrusion, but some of the denizens of this eating emporium have recently been nauseated at the spectacle of some of our younger people *necking* in the street.
- [Betty looks distressed]
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: So, I've been asked to recommend a more secluded spot... out on the Jericho Turnpike, where... one may indulge in amorous display, minus the intrusion of prying eyes.
- [Betty recovers]
- Betty Cameron: I'll take the matter up with the board of directors. Pardon me, please.
- [turns up the jazzy music playing on the car radio, which drowns out what she says to Duke. She gets into the car with Duke]
- Betty Cameron: Now, as I understand it, you go out to the Jericho Turnpike and then...
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: You turn left, and you come to an old apple tree, bearing white blossoms.
- [Michael strolls away towards the diner]
- Betty Cameron: [to Duke] Jericho Turnpike, turn left, old apple tree...
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: You can't miss it, it's right next to a pig pen.
- Duke Galloway: If we see any of your relatives, do we give them a message?
- [both laugh]
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: [trying to eat in the diner, after Betty demands an apology, stands up and throws down his napkin] I came in here to take on a little nourishment, and you insist on making a scene.
- Betty Cameron: I'm not making a scene!
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: You *are* making a scene.
- Betty Cameron: I'm not making a scene.
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: You *are* making a scene.
- Betty Cameron: I'm not.
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: You *are*,
- [looks over his shoulder]
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: you're making a scene right now.
- Betty Cameron: I'm here demanding an apology.
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: Well, you're not gonna get one. Why doncha go away from here...
- Betty Cameron: What about my pride?
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: What about your dignity?
- Betty Cameron: Never mind my dignity. I'm gonna follow you around till I *do* get an apology.
- [Mike again looks over his shoulder]
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: Oh, you *are*?
- Betty Cameron: Yes I am.
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: Well, that'll be interesting.
- [escapes to the men's room]
- Dora Swale: [at the hospital, crying] He ain't dead, is he? So that's what it's like. Gee, life's pretty lousy, ain't it.
- Mr. Swale - Dora's father: We ain't the ones to say what's right and wrong.
- Dora Swale: Who *knows* what's right and wrong! A swell kid like that, who wasn't doing anything but tryin' to make somebody else happy. If there was a right and a wrong why wasn't he taken while he was breaking the Commandments instead of while he was tryin' to help somebody. Is that wrong to try and make somebody else's load lighter? Tell me that!
- Mr. Swale - Dora's father: We ain't the ones to say about these things, Dora.
- Dora Swale: Then why does everybody do it! Don't do this, don't do that. This is right, this is wrong. How do they know what's right and wrong? How does anybody know?
- Mr. Swale - Dora's father: You don't have to take their word for it, Dora. I've always tried to teach you what's right and wrong.
- Dora Swale: Yes, that's just it! You've always tried to teach me what you *think* is right and wrong. What if *you're* wrong, where's my comeback? I listened to you this morning, I listened to you all laying out my life for me. Just because I did something wrong - didn't seem wrong to me. But even if it was wrong, the only thing that's gonna make me right is to steal something that doesn't belong to me, then I don't wanna be right!
- Betty Cameron: Because two people like each other is no reason for them to sit about and dry up. I am not my grandmother. I like to have fun. I'm modern.
- Duke Galloway: Going right out. Duke Galloway's sightseeing trips to all parts of the city. Don't fritter away golden hours of youth. It makes 'em wild, it makes 'em fresh.
- Duke Galloway: You could sit in it a minute, can't you?
- Betty Cameron: Oh well, just a minute then.
- Duke Galloway: I want you to try out the springs.
- Prof. David Mathews: Maybe I can help you. We had our problems when I went to school, you know.
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: Yes. But things were different in those days.
- Prof. David Mathews: Oh, I don't know. We had the same campus and automobiles. And if I remember correctly we had women also. They are quite a problem, you know.
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: Yes. But girls are wilder than they were then.
- Prof. David Mathews: Yes, I suppose so.
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: They can smell a good time three blocks away. If a fellow doesn't happen to be fixed so that he can give them a good time. They find it someplace else.
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: I don't see why you shouldn't go out with Galloway if you want. You're the only one on campus he's missed.
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: I have done everything you've asked, haven't I?
- Betty Cameron: You haven't kissed me.
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: It's all a matter of age.
- Prof. David Mathews: See here, young man. I'm beginning to dislike that word.
- Duke Galloway: You know, you'd be much nicer if you'd loosen your morals.
- Betty Cameron: I would be much more comfortable if you would loosen your grip.
- Duke Galloway: I'm putting in the first bid for the parking space next to the fountain. There will be a lot of excited women chasing me tomorrow night .. And I want some place handy to cool them off.
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: I won't change and I won't let you change. If I have to use every feminine wile that I know about.
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: Please, darling. There is no telling what might happen.
- Betty Cameron: Do you love me?
- Duke Galloway: [to Mike referring to Betty] Well, precious. Here is the body but the soul belongs to me.
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: [to Betty] Think you'll ever get over it?
- Betty Cameron: I'll never dance with him again unless he wears boxing gloves.
- Duke Galloway: Now don't forget that blue number.
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: Did they hold fraternity dances in your day?
- Prof. David Mathews: Yes indeed.
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: I don't suppose things have chanced much at that.
- Prof. David Mathews: No, not much. Only we used to spark instead of neck.
- Betty Cameron: Oh, Michael.
- [kiss]
- Betty Cameron: Michael.
- [kiss]
- Betty Cameron: Michael.
- [kiss]
- Betty Cameron: Michael.
- [kiss]
- Dora Swale: Hello, precious.
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: You still here?
- Dora Swale: It's only 12 o'clock. I have the rest of the night all to myself.
- Prof. David Mathews: It is a terrible pity Mr Swale that things happened the way they have. But how would it make things right to force them to marry? Just because the social system ignores the natural impulses of the young.
- Mr. Swale - Dora's father: So that's it, eh? So that is what you teach them in college. Well, what about the sanctity of the home? What about the marriage laws?
- Prof. David Mathews: Mr Swale, marriage wasn't intended to ruin people's lives. It was intended to bring them happiness.
- Mr. Swale - Dora's father: What do I care about her happiness? I am thinking about what is right and what's wrong. I've tried to be decent about this thing. I don't want to drag my daughter's name in the gutter. And if you want to, we'll let the newspapers decide whether it is right for a low dog to come into a man's house and ruin his daughter's honor. And while we're about it, we'll have them print the kind of stuff being taught at the university. Boys and girls learning that morals is all wrong. That the church is all wrong and that they don't have to marry.
- Prof. David Mathews: Oh, Mr Swale, you misunderstood.
- Mr. Swale - Dora's father: Oh no, I didn't. I ain't been to college but I understand the English language.
- Asst. Dist. Atty. Gifford: According to the report of the police officer who made the arrest, the boy is charged with the seduction of a minor. That is pretty serious, Professor.
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: [drunk & dancing] Turn off the heat, baby. I haven't got fire insurance.
- Dora Swale: Neither have I.
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: No firm would take it. It is too big a risk.
- Dora Swale: What?
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: Too big. Too big a risk. The booze sure packs a wallop.
- Dora Swale: The old man got it off a fire boat.
- Betty Cameron: I just got a kick on the shin for trying to be decent.
- Duke Galloway: Well now, what have I been telling you? Being decent doesn't get you anywhere.
- Betty Cameron: You're right.
- Duke Galloway: Well, sure I'm right!
- Betty Cameron: Okay. If other people can go to the devil I guess I can too.
- Duke Galloway: Why, sure.
- Betty Cameron: Let's get away from campus. Let's do things. Let's go places! Let's drink. Let's do everything that is bad!
- Duke Galloway: Say, have you and that ape been fighting again? Why do you hang around those irritating guys? Take Dr Galloway for instance. The answer to a maiden's prayer. Smooth and sincere for unhappy females.
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: Nothing ever comes true. Nothing at all.
- Betty Cameron: I guess it - it doesn't.
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: Nothing ever comes true.
- Prof. David Mathews: Sorry, Michael.
- Michael 'Mike' Harvey: It's alright, Prof. It's just life I guess and I got to go through with it.
- Duke Galloway: You couldn't be bad if you wanted to.
- Betty Cameron: Yes I could.
- Duke Galloway: No, you couldn't.
- Betty Cameron: I could!
- Duke Galloway: Listen, silly, people have to be born bad.
- Betty Cameron: I tried being good and everything turned out wrong. Maybe if I try being bad for a while things will be different.
- Soda Jerk: Where you going tonight, babe?
- Dora Swale: The same place you are only in a different direction.