- Charlie: I think in the first part you should have said, "Dear Madam."
- [Captain McVey starts to chase after Charlie]
- Charlie: I didn't mean nothin'! That's what you say when you're writin' to a dame. Sure, that's right, that's right.
- Captain Sam McVey: Say, how do you spell Madam?
- Charlie: M-A-D D-U-M.
- Captain Sam McVey: Yeah!
- Smiley Marsden: [to Frisco Kitty after hitting her] Now get this through your dumb nut - ya came here with me and your gonna stick with me, understand? I'm not gonna let any half-baked captain of a canoe take anything away from me. Whether I want it or not. And don't forget it.
- Captain Sam McVey: Listen, Charlie, why don't you take my advice and be like me. I don't say no prayers, I don't hit no cripples, and I *don't* fall in love.
- Captain Sam McVey: Don't be so innocent. Say, I've been dealing with women all my life, all over the world. And I ain't never found one different than another.
- Frisco Kitty: Why don't you go to your own kind?
- Captain Sam McVey: Oh! You're one of them dames who thinks that you're better than other ones.
- Frisco Kitty: Yes! Better than your kind.
- Captain Sam McVey: Did you think that I was lettin' you and that husband of yours ride free cause I'm gettin' holy? You know you're swell lookin', don't ya? You know I'm Capt'n of this boat too, don't ya?
- Smiley Marsden: I wish I hadn't pulled this minister gag to make a getaway.
- Frisco Kitty: Why?
- Smiley Marsden: Everybody's havin' a good time but me. Mc's crew is over there enjoying themselves and I gotta sit here.
- Frisco Kitty: I suppose you think I'm having a good time.
- Smiley Marsden: Well, I got somethin' upstairs that might help me a little.
- Frisco Kitty: I know what's wrong with you. You're soaked in liquor. You're mind is warped. You could be fine if you wanted to be.
- Captain Sam McVey: Do you think I ought to send somethin'? A present like? What do you think?
- Charlie: Bananas?
- Captain Sam McVey: [ponders] Mmm, no. Not bananas.
- Charlie: Flowers?
- Captain Sam McVey: That's it Charlie. Flowers. Go and get some flowers. Somethin' nice! Somethin' - wife like.
- Smiley Marsden: [to Kitty] You ain't fallin' for that big palooka are ya? Honey don't waste your time. You know you couldn't go for anybody but me. You know, you belong to me.
- Captain Sam McVey: Don't you even care what might happen to me?
- Smiley Marsden: I care what happens to me!
- Captain Sam McVey: I guess guys with kissers like ours don't stand much chances with dames.
- Charlie: What do mean? Say, I know I ain't so hot; but, you're a swell lookin' guy.
- Captain Sam McVey: Charlie, you're the best liar I know.
- Smiley Marsden: [sermon to the crew] We are all nothing more than children and we must learn our lesson and find the right way. The straight and narrow path of truth. We must not steal. We must not take that which does not belong to us. We must not steal another's bread, nor his clothes, nor his money, nor his wife. That is my message to you.
- Captain Sam McVey: Charlie, this is what I call a spread!
- Charlie: That's swell. That's swell! I think we shoulda had a coupla dames for ourselves.
- Captain Sam McVey: Floozies like we know? When *she's* here? I oughta punch you in the nose.
- Charlie: Well, I only thought we could make it more like a party like.
- Captain Sam McVey: You should see how swell it is in Honolulu. The beaches is as white as chalk. And the sea is green like a - like a parrot's feathers.
- Inspector Colby: I'm after these two birds for a job in Seattle. I'm takin' 'em back in the morning and I want no interference.
- Crewman Dave: That dame's running this boat. Can you imagine a guy, a chump enough to let a dame run him?
- Charlie: You know I ain't no squealer. But, we're sittin' on a keg of dynamite that's liable to blow up any minute.
- Captain Sam McVey: Go on. What do you want to say?
- Charlie: Well, maybe - maybe some of the guys on this boat might have taken that part; so, you would have to go to the lagoon and leave the lady all alone. You, they're sore at you. And, of course, they don't see no white women like her down here.