Thought my buddy said Austria when he actually said Australia, which is weird, but then again I am one of the most random guys of all time
Whoever invented the bagpipe should be fired immediately. Like "you had one job dude."
I've changed? Nope, just grew up. I stopped letting people push me around, I got a bit pickier, and I accepted reality.
My wife is going to have one bizarre ass husband.
Children are such odd creatures. They waste time eating bugs, sand, and little stones. This behavior will fade away as they grow older.
One thing that wouldn't make sense is to sell old, non-working batteries. A close friend could offer them free of charge and I wouldn't touch it with a 10 ft pole.
Pharell's hat is so huge I took a picture of it last Christmas, and it's still printing.
That awesome moment when both uncles laughed at what you said, so you just sit there like a boss.
My friend thinks I wake up late but I literally just chill in my room after I wake up to avoid interaction as much as possible as I enjoy being alone.