- Speaking through Madame, in "Madame in Manhattan", as Madame relates to the audience her latest escapade with a very old age boyfriend: "We were humping, thumping and hoping, neither one of us getting it off, so I stop and ask him, 'what's the matter Jaime, can't you think of anyone else either?'"
- Speaking through Madame, in "Madame in Manhattan" and about Jaime, her very old age boyfriend: "Oh, he's so old, he wouldn't come if you call him!"
- Speaking through Madame (the puppet) in the special cable live performance of "Madame in Manhattan": "Already some of you may have noticed that Wayland here is no ventriloquist! Well, that's OK, I am no fucking dummy!!
- Speaking through Madame (in "Madame in Manhattan") about her Edith Head-designed gown: "Edith gives good gown."
- Speaking through Madame, in "Madame in Manhattan", while Madame is rearranging her tiara: "These are my summer diamonds! Some are diamonds and some are not!"
- Madame uses some dirty words. And there are complaints from time to time, but for the most part audiences aren't offended because Madame doesn't use the words for their actual meaning.
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