The Contrarian's Guide to the Top 33 Horror Films
Somewhat unconventional list of the top 33 horror films, more-or-less in order.
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- DirectorKevin TenneyStarsCathy PodewellAlvin AlexisHal HavinsTen teenagers party at an abandoned funeral parlor on Halloween night. When an evil force awakens, demonic spirits keep them from leaving and turn their gathering into a living Hell.I debated whether 'The Exorcist' should take #1 spot, because it is genuinely the scariest horror film ever made, but 'Night of the Demons' takes it because it's my personal favorite and it's the most entertaining, fun, AND scary horror film ever made.
- DirectorWilliam FriedkinStarsEllen BurstynMax von SydowLinda BlairWhen a mysterious entity possesses a young girl, her mother seeks the help of two Catholic priests to save her life.As previously noted, the scariest and most disturbing horror film ever made. Gave teenage me a nightmare about a week after watching that I still remember vividly to this day. Does not rely on jump-scares, it's purely spiritual and existential shock and dread.
- DirectorJohn CarpenterStarsSam NeillJürgen ProchnowJulie CarmenAn insurance investigator begins discovering that the impact a horror writer's books have on his fans is more than inspirational.Another brilliant existential horror film, sprinkled with bizarre and surreal imagery, and gets into disturbing philosophical territory about solipsism and/or panpsychism, designed to make the viewer question the nature of reality and how it could, potentially, be changed, all leading to a Lovecraftian apocalypse. This is actually the most faithful movie to the true spirit of the mythos and broader catalogue of H.P. Lovecraft, though it makes no direct references to his pantheon of deities (there are some winks and nods here and there). Contrary to the impression you may have gotten from Stuart Gordon movies, Lovecraft did not write erotic thrillers or BDSM fetish literature. 'In the Mouth of Madness' draws thematically from the lesser-known deity Azathoth, the most powerful deity in the Lovecraft mythos. It's a shame there aren't more horror films that delve into these themes. These topics are ripe for exploration in horror and science-fiction, but John Carpenter and writer Michael De Luca seem to be the only individuals clever enough to utilize them. Fun and scary, but also thoughtful and profound, like much of Carpenter's filmography.
- DirectorTobe HooperStarsDennis HopperCaroline WilliamsJim SiedowA radio host is victimized by the cannibal family as a former Texas marshal hunts them.Picking up years after the original drive-in cult classic and following the misdeeds of that same cannibal family (including the rotting corpse of the Hitchhiker, and his twin brother who was apparently in 'Nam when the original took place), this is a fun, scary, and often hilarious thrill ride from start to finish. This is not comedy/horror, it's horror/comedy. The horror and gore comes first, and the comedy functions in such a way that it does not undermine the story or become farcical. It's also infinitely quotable. Caroline Williams, Bill Mosely, Jim Siedow and Dennis Hopper are all fantastic and deliver some of the best performances you'll ever see in a movie, the soundtrack is perfect, and the special makeup effects are grotesque and I would rank them as some of Tom Savini's best work. This is the only true sequel to 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre'. Although some of the others are entertaining in their own ways, none but this one is an actual sequel. A personal favorite.
- DirectorTom SaviniStarsTony ToddPatricia TallmanTom TowlesWhen the unburied dead return to life and seek human victims, seven refugees shelter in a house in the Pennsylvanian countryside.A remake of one of the greatest original visions of an apocalypse in the horror genre, this (in my opinions) exceeds George Romero's (who was also heavily involved in this production) original, only because it's a more polished version of that same exact story, which was already near-perfect. The only significant change is to a lead character and her fate that begins to unfold in a different direction about midway through. Both versions are amazing, but Tom Savini's moody tale of apocalyptic survival horror is perfection.
- DirectorGeorge A. RomeroStarsLori CardilleTerry AlexanderJoseph PilatoAs the world is overrun by zombies, a group of scientists and military personnel sheltering in an underground bunker in Florida must decide on how they should deal with the undead horde.The second sequel to Romero's 1968 classic takes us further in time into the zombie apocalypse. Civilzation has collapsed, and we're isolated with a small group of scientists and military personnel, and as in 'Night of the Living Dead', this small mirror of civilization is losing its' cohesion. As the inevitable human struggle for power and dominance plays out, one scientist and two technicians look for their escape... and an army of the undead await them outside. A contemplative and thoughtful tale of a doomed species, but with an unexpected and uniquely happy ending.
- DirectorGeorge A. RomeroStarsDavid EmgeKen ForeeScott H. ReinigerDuring an escalating zombie epidemic, two Philadelphia SWAT team members, a traffic reporter and his TV executive girlfriend seek refuge in a secluded shopping mall.Romero's iconic sequel to his equally iconic '68 film is really a landmark of the genre. It's survival-horror, science-fiction, action-adventure, tragedy and triumph, and a little bit of lightly humorous social commentary all seemlessly rolled into one movie, as a small group of survivors approximately two-to-three weeks into the zombie apocalypse that began in 'Night...' try to escape the chaos of the cities and decide to make a temporary home in a pristine, but now-abandoned shopping mall. The characters are rich and nuanced, and you hang on their every move, as they claim the mall, and watch the death of civilization play out on live TV... until the broadcast stops. One of the greatest horror films ever made.
- DirectorSam RaimiStarsBruce CampbellSarah BerryDan HicksAsh Williams, the lone survivor of an earlier onslaught of flesh-possessing spirits, holes up in a cabin with a group of strangers while the demons continue their attack.
- DirectorDan O'BannonStarsClu GulagerJames KarenDon CalfaWhen two bumbling employees at a medical supply warehouse accidentally release a deadly gas into the air, the vapors cause the dead to rise again as zombies.
- DirectorRobert HarmonStarsRutger HauerC. Thomas HowellJennifer Jason LeighA young man who escapes the clutches of a murderous hitchhiker is subsequently stalked by the hitcher and framed for his crimes.
- DirectorJohn CarpenterStarsDonald PleasenceLisa BlountJameson ParkerA group of graduate students and scientists uncover an ancient canister in an abandoned church, but when they open the container, they inadvertently unleash a strange liquid and an evil force on all humanity.
- DirectorRichard WenkStarsChris MakepeaceSandy BaronRobert RuslerTwo fraternity pledges travel to a sleazy bar in search of a stripper for their college friends, unaware it is occupied by vampires.
- DirectorJohn CarpenterStarsKurt RussellWilford BrimleyKeith DavidA research team in Antarctica is hunted by a shape-shifting alien that assumes the appearance of its victims.
- DirectorDon CoscarelliStarsA. Michael BaldwinBill ThornburyReggie BannisterNewly orphaned teenager Mike Pearson, his older brother Jody, and their friends face off against a mysterious grave robber known as the Tall Man, who employs a lethal arsenal of unearthly weapons in their southern California town.
- DirectorDanny SteinmannStarsMelanie KinnamanJohn ShepherdAnthony BarrileStill haunted by his past, Tommy Jarvis, who, as a child, killed Jason Voorhees, is sent to a secluded halfway house in the countryside, where the killing of a young man triggers a brutal series of murders in the area.
- DirectorJoseph ZitoStarsErich AndersonJudie AronsonPeter BartonAfter being announced dead and taken to a morgue, Jason Voorhees spontaneously revives, escapes from the hospital, and stalks a group of friends renting a house in the countryside near Crystal Lake.
- DirectorChuck RussellStarsHeather LangenkampRobert EnglundCraig WassonA psychiatrist, familiar with knife-wielding dream demon, Freddy Krueger, helps teens at a mental hospital battle the killer who is invading their dreams.
- DirectorJack SholderStarsRobert EnglundMark PattonKim MyersA teenage boy is haunted in his dreams by deceased child murderer Freddy Krueger, who is out to possess him in order to continue his reign of terror in the real world.
- DirectorDon SiegelStarsKevin McCarthyDana WynterLarry GatesA small-town doctor learns that the population of his community is being replaced by emotionless alien duplicates.
- DirectorJim WynorskiStarsGail ThackrayMelissa MooreStacia ZhivagoFive college women buy the old Hokstedter place for their new sorority house. They decide to stay in it for the night to meet the movers in the morning, but begin to get the creeps when the weird neighbor starts poking around.
- DirectorAdam RifkinStarsRobert R. ShaferBarbara NivenRod SweitzerPsychopath cop decides to kill everyone who he thinks has broken the law.
- DirectorNoboru IguchiStarsArisa NakamuraMayu SuganoAsana MamoruA group of teenagers go camping in the woods where they find themselves in deep trouble, when poop covered zombies that are controlled by parasites come out to attack them.A recently-watched instant favorite, the title makes you think "absurd, shock-humor", which is true. But 'Zombie Ass: Toilet of the Dead' manages to defy such a simple categorization by NOT devolving into a total farce, and maintaining a coherent, linear story with what COULD BE one of the most iconic horror protagonists since 'Evil Dead II's' Ashley Williams... iconic, that is, if more people watched the movie. Her backstory is simultaneously a genuine tragedy, but also insanely hilarious, and her heroic ascent is legendary. This is an exceptional horror comedy, in how it walks so many fine lines so expertly. Toilet humor? Yes... but on a level you've never seen before, and will likely never see again.
- DirectorRick RosenthalStarsJamie Lee CurtisDonald PleasenceCharles CyphersWhile Dr. Loomis hunts for Michael Myers, a traumatized Laurie is rushed to Haddonfield Memorial Hospital, and The Shape is not far behind her.
- DirectorKen RussellStarsAmanda DonohoeHugh GrantCatherine OxenbergWhen an archaeologist uncovers a strange skull in a foreign land, the residents of a nearby town begin to disappear, leading to further inexplicable occurrences.
- DirectorGeorge A. RomeroStarsJohn AmplasLincoln MaazelChristine ForrestA young man, who believes himself to be a vampire, goes to live with his elderly and hostile cousin in a small Pennsylvanian town, where he tries to suppress his blood-lust.