I Dare You to Watch the UNWATCHABLES (65)
3 IMDB = UNWATCHABLE (2.1 - 3.0)
You shouldn't waste your time watching these films, but they are not the Worst Movies Ever Made. I still dare you to watch these.
My Rating System compared to IMDB:
10 IMDB = A+ (9.7 - 10.0) - Perfect
9 IMDB = A, A- (8.9 - 9.6) - Excellent
8 IMDB = B+, B, B- (7.7 - 8.8) - Very Good
7 IMDB = C+, C, C- (6.5 - 7.6) - Strong
6 IMDB = D+, D, D- (5.3 - 6.4) - Fair/Good
5 IMDB = E+, E, E- (4.1 - 5.2) - Worse than a D, Better than an F (E for Effort)
4 IMDB = F+, F, F- (3.1 - 4.0) - Fails, but still recommend seeing these films, because you have to see these films to believe them.
3 IMDB = UNWATCHABLES = 3 (2.1 - 3.0) = You shouldn't waste your time watching these films, but they are not the Worst Movies Ever Made. I still dare you to watch these.
1-2 IMDB = The Worst Movies Ever Made = 1 (0.1 - 1.0), 2 (1.1 - 2.0)
You shouldn't waste your time watching these films, but they are not the Worst Movies Ever Made. I still dare you to watch these.
My Rating System compared to IMDB:
10 IMDB = A+ (9.7 - 10.0) - Perfect
9 IMDB = A, A- (8.9 - 9.6) - Excellent
8 IMDB = B+, B, B- (7.7 - 8.8) - Very Good
7 IMDB = C+, C, C- (6.5 - 7.6) - Strong
6 IMDB = D+, D, D- (5.3 - 6.4) - Fair/Good
5 IMDB = E+, E, E- (4.1 - 5.2) - Worse than a D, Better than an F (E for Effort)
4 IMDB = F+, F, F- (3.1 - 4.0) - Fails, but still recommend seeing these films, because you have to see these films to believe them.
3 IMDB = UNWATCHABLES = 3 (2.1 - 3.0) = You shouldn't waste your time watching these films, but they are not the Worst Movies Ever Made. I still dare you to watch these.
1-2 IMDB = The Worst Movies Ever Made = 1 (0.1 - 1.0), 2 (1.1 - 2.0)
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- DirectorIshirô HondaJun FukudaKengo FurusawaStarsKenji SaharaMachiko NakaTomonori YazakiA latchkey child living in the industrial city of Kawasaki confronts his loneliness through his escapist dreams of Monster Island and friendship with Minilla.AKA: Godzilla's Revenge (1969)
- DirectorJack PollexfenStarsLon Chaney Jr.Max ShowalterMarian CarrA brutal death row inmate double-crossed by his crooked lawyer gets his chance for revenge when, following his execution, a bizarre experiment brings him back to life and deadlier than ever.Indestructible Man (1956), has the legendary, Lon Chaney JR., playing the "Butcher", Charles Benton, who becomes a murdering, mute killing machine, after being struck by lightning. There is no dialogue from Chaney after the opening scenes. The main idea of the film is pretty good. It tries to take horror, combine it with crime, drama and film-noire, but it takes the most basic parts of those components and creates a boring, mindless, mute story. On the dramatic, crime-side of the equation, Indestructible Man (1956), becomes just another crime-story, about stashed loot, that an escaped killer is searching for. On the horror-side of the equation, this film is just another mad scientist vehicle, with another messed-up creation, terrorizing the Hollywood countryside. Even by 1956, this form of horror film had been used up and needed to be shelved in favor of more clever ideas on horror. This film also contains, that low-budget, sexploitation angle, that was seen a lot in 1950s horror cinema. The main squeeze of Butcher Benton, is a burlesque star named Eva Martin (Marian Carr). The police believe she knows where Benton's loot is, but she really didn't know him that well. The blonde bombshells make their presence known. Along with Eva, is her stripper-friend, Francine (Peggy Maley), who substitutes for Eva for extra cash.
One thing in this film, that brings some interest to film buffs, involves one of the locations Indestructible Man (1956), was shot at. Filmed in Los Angeles, at the historical, Bradbury Building, some of the story also takes place in Hollywood. Unconvincingly, goofy-looking, police detective, Max Showalter (credited as Casey Adams), plays Lt. Dick Chasen, who manages to, unrealistically, pick-up the beautiful show girl, Marion, while the search for Butcher Benton continues. Actually, it isn't surprising, since she somehow got mixed up with Butcher to begin with. Marion has the worst taste in men. By this time in his career, Chaney is heavy and drunk. His career had been steadily falling since his glory days as the Wolf Man (1941) and he had become an alcoholic. The same close-ups of him are repeated in areas of the film, that didn't fit in with the scene. Indestructible Man (1956), contains horrible editing applied to this story, with many shots, out of place with each other. It contains ridiculous close-ups of Chaney's expressions and facial twitches.
The film-noire aspect of the movie is there, but can't burst out, because the film is not well shot, not well edited and the audio utilized in the soundtrack, is not good either. There are moments when actors are moving in the wrong direction. This awful editing affects the continuity of the scene. You can tell this during the climactic chase scene in the sewers, which has a couple of good shots in it. Definitely, the B-team was working on this film. The music was more of that canned music, heard over and over again, in low-budget movies of the 1930s. This whole film could have been made in the 1930s, considering its low budget appearance and poor execution. Considering its design, this film does resemble a silent movie. The choice to go with Chaney, not being able to talk, was a bad idea. The moments of no-dialogue interrupted the scenes badly.
What we end up with, is a ridiculous ending to a film, that never really got started. However, Indestructible Man (1956), does end at a cool looking electrical plant. The electrical plant was another good choice by the location scouting hat. We also get treated with a serious Joe Flynn sighting, as he is cast as the loyal lab assistant, to Robert Shayne's, misguided mad-scientist, Dr. Bradshaw. For those too young to remember, Joe Flynn was most famous for being Commander Wallace Binghamton on the famously, popular, comedy-war, television sitcom, McHale's Navy (1962-1966). At least, there is that! The rest pf the characters are shallow, pointless, empty shells, with no real background at all. I originally felt this movie was as bad as a 1/10, when I first saw it 40 years ago on UHF television, but after watching it again, with a 21st century streaming service, on an HD television, remastered by whoever, I bumped that grade up to a 3/10.
2.4 (MyGrade: Unwatchable) = 3 IMDB - DirectorRalph BrookeStarsWilton GraffJune KenneyWalter BrookeA crazed hunter kidnaps people and turns them loose on his private estate, where he hunts them for sport.
- DirectorCharles B. PierceStarsCharles B. PierceCindy ButlerChuck Pierce Jr.A professor and three of his students camp out in the wilderness to find a Bigfoot-type creature.
- DirectorBob ClarkStarsAlan OrmsbyValerie MamchesJeff GillenSix friends in a theatrical troupe dig up a corpse on an abandoned island to use in a mock Satanic rite. It backfires with deadly consequences.
- DirectorRafael PortilloStarsRamón GayRosita ArenasCrox AlvaradoThe evil Dr. Krupp, once again trying to get possession of the Aztec princess Xochitl's jewels, hypnotizes her current reincarnation, Flor, to get her to reveal the jewels' location - Xochitl's tomb. Confusion reigns as Krupp and his thugs are opposed by Flor's lover, Dr. Almada, his assistant, and wrestling superhero, El Angel. Krupp finally meets his match, however, when he comes up against Popoca, the warrior mummy who guards Xochitl's tomb.So, The Curse of the Aztec Mummy (1957), is the second installment of the Aztec Mummy trilogy and the third installment, Robot VS the Aztec Mummy (1958), was the one, that got the most attention and exposure in the U.S. In the 60 years since these came out, most of us saw the third installment and are now back-tracking to see the other two, that are available now. The third film is more of an edited down version of the first two movies, told through flashback, with some extra footage added in, to round out this confusing, lost, badly scripted, badly dubbed, trilogy. I had no idea Angel, the wrestler-guy was part of this. He's nowhere to be seen in Robot VS the Aztec Mummy (1958), so that was somewhat interesting and somewhat disturbing to find out. Why was he cut? Who knows?
Anyway, The Curse of the Aztec Mummy (1957), explains a lot about why certain things were omitted from the third film. The scenes with Angel are atrocious, right down to the fake machine guns, so fake, that they don't even flash or have smoke coming out of them. They are totally shaken by the actors to show the machine gun effect. Badly done machine gun sound effects are used too. Very elementary school. It's understandable why the wrestler-guy was taken out for the third film. I will say this, the fight scenes and action scenes with Angel, will remind you of the classic cliff-hangers, that Hollywood put out in the 1930s, 40s and 50s. It had a nice feel for that. Probably the only thing that keeps this film from getting a 1 or a 2.
PMTM Grade: 2.8 (U) = 3 IMDB - DirectorJohn 'Bud' CardosTobe HooperStarsWilliam DevaneCathy Lee CrosbyRichard JaeckelSomeone, or something, is on an indiscriminate killing and mutilation spree during night-time. Frustrated by the clueless police, the father of the first victim is looking for answers, no matter how far fetched they are.Acting seems ok, but the film is ruined every time the monster appears. And just because it is called The Dark doesn't mean you need to go cheap on lighting equipment.
- DirectorLuciano ErcoliStarsFrank WolffNieves NavarroSimón AndreuAfter a French stripper is harassed by a man who wants a cache of diamonds stolen by her late father, she flees to England in the company of a doctor, but danger follows.
- DirectorAl AdamsonSamuel M. ShermanStarsJ. Carrol NaishLon Chaney Jr.Zandor VorkovDracula conspires with a mad doctor to resurrect the Frankenstein Monster.
- DirectorNoriaki YuasaStarsNobuhiro KajimaMiyuki AkiyamaChristopher MurphyAliens kidnap two children and take them to another planet for the purpose of getting knowledge from their brains, but Gamera follows and tries to rescue them.
- DirectorNoriaki YuasaShigeo TanakaStarsKôjirô HongôTôru TakatsukaCarl CraigGamera the Flying Turtle falls under the spell of evil aliens, but two children free him and he returns to fight the aliens' monster, Viras.
- DirectorJoseph SargentStarsLorraine GaryLance GuestMario Van PeeblesChief Brody's widow believes that her family is deliberately being targeted by another shark in search of revenge.
- DirectorMichael ValverdeStarsJoan SeveranceCorbin BernsenRodney ScottBored housewife Lisa Wayne embarks on a steamy affair with a younger man, Sam. But as her behavior grows more reckless, her cop husband, John, becomes quite suspicious - and Lisa's precarious situation grows even more dangerous.
- DirectorHarry EssexStarsPier AngeliKerwin MathewsJeff MorrowA team of researchers discovers a strange mutation of man and octopus who proceeds to terrorize them.
- DirectorDavid Da-Wei ChiangJimmy Wang YuStarsJimmy Wang YuDavid Da-Wei ChiangLieh LoThe martial world is now awash in one-armed knights, who aren't inclined to make any permanent alliances among themselves.
- DirectorCharles BandStarsRobert GlaudiniDemi MooreLuca BercoviciIn a post-apocalyptic USA, a doctor/scientist infected with a new strain of parasite ends up in a small desert town, trying to find a cure.This film is so bad that it is hard to recommend it. If it wasn't for the fact that it is Demi Moore's first starring film there would be no value to it. See it if you want to see that glimpse of stardom in Demi's eyes, but be aware. This one stinks.
- DirectorJohn WatersStarsDivineDavid LocharyMary Vivian PearceNotorious Baltimore criminal and underground figure Divine goes up against a sleazy married couple who make a passionate attempt to humiliate her and seize her tabloid-given title as "The Filthiest Person Alive".
- DirectorMichael ReevesStarsBarbara SteeleJohn KarlsenIan OgilvyA newlywed English tourist and an eccentric Transylvanian Count must work together when the former's beautiful wife is made the bodily host of a horrific witch.
- DirectorPete WalkerStarsAnouska HempelRay BrooksSusan SheersLight-hearted and occasionally unclothed adaptation of a British comic strip in the over-the-top, on-beyond-Bond spy fantasy vein.
- DirectorHerschell Gordon LewisStarsConnie MasonWilliam KerwinJeffrey AllenSix people are lured into a small Deep South town for a Centennial celebration where the residents proceed to kill them one by one as revenge for the town's destruction during the Civil War.
- DirectorJerry A. BaerwitzIshirô HondaMotoyoshi OdaStarsMyron HealeyTsuruko KobayashiClifford KawadaHeavily alerted American version of Japan's Varan. A prehistoric behemoth is unwittingly awoken from hibernation due to a U.S-Japanese military experiment for economic means on it's watery lair.
- DirectorMassimo DallamanoStarsFabio TestiKarin BaalCristina GalbóA teacher who is having an affair with one of his students is reluctant to present an alibi when his lover witnesses the first in a series of murders connected to their school.
- DirectorKevin TenneyStarsJames W. QuinnKathleen BaileyJudy TatumParapsychologists try to make an inn haunted by an evil witch's ghost safe for guests.
- DirectorStuart E. McGowanStarsTim ConwayAl StelloneEllen GersteinVernon Praiseworthy is a clumsy but lovable dope who stands to inherit his uncle's fortune. The condition is that he travel the rails as a penniless hobo just as his uncle did in the dark days of the depression. That seems simple enough until he gets involved in a dog-napping plot.
- DirectorKevin O'NeillStarsJena SimsSean YoungTreat WilliamsAspiring college cheerleader Cassie Stratford consumes an experimental drug that grants her beauty and enough athletic ability to make the cheer squad. It has an unforeseen side effect - she starts to grow and grow and grow.