Big movies, Horrible Screenplays
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- DirectorZack SnyderStarsBen AffleckHenry CavillAmy AdamsBatman is manipulated by Lex Luthor to fear Superman. Superman´s existence is meanwhile dividing the world and he is framed for murder during an international crisis. The heroes clash and force the neutral Wonder Woman to reemerge.
- DirectorSteven SpielbergStarsHarrison FordCate BlanchettShia LaBeoufIndiana Jones becomes entangled in a Soviet plot to uncover the secret behind mysterious artifacts known as the Crystal Skulls.If Spielberg and Lucas took 20 years to accept this story as a worthy one for Indiana Jones, I'd hate to see how bad the other scripts were. Maybe Lucas wrote in Howard the Duck as an alien villain. Part 5 won't happen if they take another 20 years....Unless they clone Harrison Ford.
- DirectorDavid AyerStarsWill SmithJared LetoMargot RobbieA secret government agency recruits some of the most dangerous incarcerated super-villains to form a defensive task force. Their first mission: save the world from the apocalypse.
- DirectorGeorge LucasStarsEwan McGregorLiam NeesonNatalie PortmanTwo Jedi escape a hostile blockade to find allies and come across a young boy who may bring balance to the Force, but the long dormant Sith resurface to claim their original glory.The story of how Anakin becomes Vader. Starts off with "Yippy I'm gonna be a Jedi!" Lucas should have kept in the end lightsaber duel but scrapped everything else and started from scratch before filming.
- DirectorDavid FincherStarsSigourney WeaverCharles S. DuttonCharles DanceReturning from LV-426, Ellen Ripley crash-lands on the maximum-security prison Fiorina 161, where she discovers that she has unwittingly brought along an unwelcome visitor.Simply had all the other great characters that survived Aliens dead in the beginning and Ripley with an alien in her stuck on a prison planet with no weapons. If that wasn't bad enough, they kill her off in the end. Aliens was great, this was just dark and dismal.
- DirectorJean-Pierre JeunetStarsSigourney WeaverWinona RyderDominique PinonTwo centuries after her death, a powerful human/alien hybrid clone of Ellen Ripley aids a crew of space pirates in stopping the aliens from reaching Earth.Ripley is cloned and stuck on a ship with plenty of aliens and weapons, yet this is even worse than Alien 3. Instead of resurrecting the series it stuck the knife in it deeper.
- DirectorJoel SchumacherStarsArnold SchwarzeneggerGeorge ClooneyChris O'DonnellBatman and Robin try to keep their relationship together even as they must stop Mr. Freeze and Poison Ivy from freezing Gotham City.The screenwriter that gave us Batman pulling out a Batman credit card with him saying "never leave the Batcave without it." Won an Oscar? ?
- DirectorJoel SchumacherStarsVal KilmerTommy Lee JonesJim CarreyBatman must battle former district attorney Harvey Dent, who is now Two-Face and Edward Nygma, The Riddler with help from an amorous psychologist and a young circus acrobat who becomes his sidekick, Robin.Liked it when I was younger, then someone pointed out how bad the lines were. Batman rejects Chase (Nicole Kidman) by saying "I don't fit in at a family picnic" ??
- DirectorSam RaimiStarsTobey MaguireKirsten DunstTopher GraceA strange black entity from another world bonds with Peter Parker and causes inner turmoil as he contends with new villains, temptations, and revenge.Full of flaws like Harry bumping his head and forgetting Peter is Spiderman. You also have Captain Stacy watching his daughter dangling from a building for her life and he just calmly says "what is she doing up there? ??"
- DirectorBrett RatnerStarsPatrick StewartHugh JackmanHalle BerryThe human government develops a cure for mutations, and Jean Grey becomes a darker uncontrollable persona called the Phoenix who allies with Magneto, causing escalation into an all-out battle for the X-Men.Killed off main characters and what's the point of a cliffhanger in the credits if this was the last X-Men film? ?
- DirectorGavin HoodStarsHugh JackmanLiev SchreiberRyan ReynoldsThe early years of James Logan, featuring his rivalry with his brother Victor Creed, his service in the special forces team Weapon X, and his experimentation into the metal-lined mutant Wolverine.It doesn't lead up to the first X-Men too well since you'd think Sabortooth would have reminded Wolverine that they were brothers in the first X-Men. The whole brother plot just doesn't work. A wisecracking superhero getting his mouth sewn up didn't work much either since that character was meant to be a wiseass.
- DirectorLana WachowskiLilly WachowskiStarsKeanu ReevesLaurence FishburneCarrie-Anne MossThe human city of Zion defends itself against the massive invasion of the machines as Neo fights to end the war at another front while also opposing the rogue Agent Smith.Gloomy and just was pointless to make more after part one if this is how they were gonna end it.
- DirectorLana WachowskiLilly WachowskiStarsKeanu ReevesLaurence FishburneCarrie-Anne MossFreedom fighters Neo, Trinity and Morpheus continue to lead the revolt against the Machine Army, unleashing their arsenal of extraordinary skills and weaponry against the systematic forces of repression and exploitation.Same reaction I had to Phantom Menace, "thought, um what is this and when is the movie gonna start ?" So, Zion where all the good guys hangout is a sweaty and sleazy night club where everyone dances and rubs up against each other? Fast forward to the highway scene, is the only scene that works.
- DirectorTodd PhillipsStarsBradley CooperZach GalifianakisEd HelmsTwo years after the bachelor party in Las Vegas, Phil, Stu, Alan, and Doug jet to Thailand for Stu's wedding. Stu's plan for a subdued pre-wedding brunch, however, goes seriously awry.Lets just edit the script from part one, no one will notice.
- DirectorRaja GosnellStarsHank AzariaKaty PerryJonathan WintersWhen the evil wizard Gargamel chases the tiny blue Smurfs out of their village, they tumble from their magical world into New York City.Great fantasy/adventure series is turned into a lame comedy where the Smurfs, are transported magically to NYC where they help Neil Patrick Harris' character warm up to the idea of being a dad. Should have used to the script as toilet paper.
- DirectorSteven SpielbergStarsJeff GoldblumJulianne MoorePete PostlethwaiteA research team is sent to the Jurassic Park Site B island to study the dinosaurs there, while an InGen team approaches with another agenda.Ian Malcolm: First there's oohs and ahhs, then there's running and screaming.
I guess he read the script. Plus is many men with guns and only a little girl and her gymnastics can kill a raptor in the movie? ?? - DirectorTim BurtonStarsJack NicholsonPierce BrosnanSarah Jessica ParkerEarth is invaded by Martians with unbeatable weapons and a cruel sense of humor.Huge cast....killed off just for a grandma to kill all the aliens with the bad music she listens to.
- DirectorStephen HopkinsStarsGary OldmanWilliam HurtMatt LeBlancThe Robinson family was going into space to fight for a chance for humanity. Now they are fighting to live long enough to find a way home.The writer of Batman & Robin gives us a serious sci-fi adventure based on the campy show with dialogue almost as bad as his Batman & Robin dialogue.
- DirectorNikolaj ArcelStarsIdris ElbaMatthew McConaugheyTom TaylorA boy haunted by visions of a dark tower from a parallel reality teams up with the tower's disillusioned guardian to stop an evil warlock known as the Man in Black who plans to use the boy to destroy the tower and open the gates of Hell.
- DirectorZack SnyderStarsBen AffleckGal GadotJason MomoaFueled by his restored faith in humanity and inspired by Superman's selfless act, Bruce Wayne enlists the help of his new-found ally, Diana Prince, to face an even greater enemy.