Bond Film Rankings: The Jig's Up Bloefeldt
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- DirectorGuy HamiltonStarsSean ConneryGert FröbeHonor BlackmanWhile investigating a gold magnate's smuggling, James Bond uncovers a plot to contaminate the Fort Knox gold reserve.He loves gold! This is the Bond film that has it all, orchestrates it perfectly and set the tone and conventions for the entire series.
- DirectorTerence YoungStarsSean ConneryRobert ShawLotte LenyaJames Bond willingly falls into an assassination plot involving a naive Russian beauty in order to retrieve a Soviet encryption device that was stolen by the organization Spectre.Classy, simple, elegant, to the point. No camp, no gimmicks... just a badass rival agent on Bond's trail. My personal favorite.
- DirectorMartin CampbellStarsDaniel CraigEva GreenJudi DenchAfter earning a licence to kill, secret agent James Bond sets out on his first mission as 007. Bond must defeat a private banker funding terrorists in a high-stakes game of poker at Casino Royale, in Montenegro.Bond is back and he's going to tear your head off. Miraculously brings 007 back to reality after the pain inducing "Die Another Day". That cat Craig is a bad mother... shutcho mouth!
Will Bond foil Le Chifre's plans, will he rock Vesper's world? I haven't been this curious to find out in years! - DirectorTerence YoungStarsSean ConneryUrsula AndressBernard LeeA resourceful British government agent seeks answers in a case involving the disappearance of a colleague and the disruption of the American space program.The first, a classic. Connery was young and vibrant, the sixties were in full swing, giant mechanical dragon machines... good stuff.
- DirectorMartin CampbellStarsPierce BrosnanSean BeanIzabella ScorupcoWhen a powerful secret defense system is stolen, James Bond is assigned to stop a Russian crime syndicate from using it.
- DirectorPeter R. HuntStarsGeorge LazenbyDiana RiggTelly SavalasBritish agent James Bond goes undercover to pursue the villainous Ernst Stavro Blofeld, who is planning to hold the world to ransom.
- DirectorTerence YoungStarsSean ConneryClaudine AugerAdolfo CeliJames Bond heads to the Bahamas to recover two nuclear warheads stolen by S.P.E.C.T.R.E. Agent Emilio Largo in an international extortion scheme.
- DirectorLewis GilbertStarsSean ConneryAkiko WakabayashiMie HamaJames Bond and the Japanese Secret Service must find and stop the true culprit of a series of space hijackings, before war is provoked between Russia and the United States.
- DirectorGuy HamiltonStarsRoger MooreYaphet KottoJane SeymourJames Bond is sent to stop a diabolically brilliant heroin magnate armed with a complex organisation and a reliable psychic tarot card reader.
- DirectorGuy HamiltonStarsSean ConneryJill St. JohnCharles GrayA diamond smuggling investigation leads James Bond to Las Vegas where he uncovers an evil plot involving a rich business tycoon.
- DirectorLewis GilbertStarsRoger MooreBarbara BachCurd JürgensJames Bond investigates the hijacking of British and Russian submarines carrying nuclear warheads, with the help of a K.G.B. agent whose lover he killed.It's the wacky, odd couple story, spy style! Add in the most predictable, sea based 'hold the world for hostage' plot and you've got the comfort food version of a Bond film.
- DirectorJohn GlenStarsRoger MooreCarole BouquetTopolSecret service agent James Bond is assigned to find a missing British vessel equipped with a weapons encryption device and prevent it from falling into enemy hands.I think people think this is better than it actually is because it's sandwiched between two of the most ridiculous Bond films; Moonraker and Octopussy, making this relatively normal outing seem brilliant by comparison. Lest we forget...
1. FIGURE SKATING.
2. Evil hockey players.
3. Blofeldt falling from a helicopter into a chimney (while in a wheelchair).
4. The super awesome "attack of the dune buggies" scene.
5. Comic relief parrot.
6. Comic relief Margaret Thatcher. - DirectorJohn GlenStarsRoger MooreMaud AdamsLouis JourdanA fake Fabergé egg recovered from the body of a fellow agent leads James Bond to uncover a jewel smuggling operation led by the mysterious Octopussy, and a plot to blow up a NATO air base.Nothing about the plot of this film comes anywhere close to making even the remotest of sense. My best guess is that three failed Bond scripts were sandwiched together at the last minute to create this massacre.
John Glen: "As long as we keep the picture moving at a frantic pace people won't have time to stop and ask questions like 'who's this guy and why is he doing stuff?' So let's go with it! Oh, and I just got back from space, bitches. ACTION!"
A crazy Russian general apparently needs a Faberge egg to complete his nuclear device, and a circus to deliver it to the American base? Octopussy happens to have both and yet we're supposed to believe she has no idea that she's being used by Kamal? Yyyeah, ok. No.
Anyway, I can't really hate on this one too much. Sure it's very, very stupid, and implausible, but it's basically 007's Big Adventure... Bond just wants his "bike" back, so sit back and enjoy the pointless eye candy. - DirectorMarc ForsterStarsDaniel CraigOlga KurylenkoMathieu AmalricJames Bond descends into mystery as he tries to stop an organisation from eliminating a country's most valuable resource.I needed some solace and a quantum of vodka after this slightly disappointing sequel, which proved that Bond shouldn't have direct sequels.
- DirectorGuy HamiltonStarsRoger MooreChristopher LeeBritt EklandJames Bond is targeted by the world's most expensive assassin, while he attempts to recover sensitive solar cell technology that is being sold to the highest bidder.I like this film, don't ask me why, I just do. It's sort of like a bizarro world version of From Russia With Love. Scalamanga wants desperately to make love to, I mean kill, Bond with his magical golden gun. The little weird guy from Fantasy Island imps around as his go-fer. And who doesn't love Ms. Goodnight? A travesty to women's equality who bimbos joyfully and clueslessly until the final frame.
And finally, let's not forget the comic relief, country cracker, sheriff tourist guy whose badly dubbed voice spouts America-centric one liners at all the "pointy heads". - DirectorJohn GlenStarsTimothy DaltonMaryam d'AboJeroen KrabbéJames Bond is sent to investigate a KGB policy to kill all enemy spies, and uncovers an arms deal that potentially has major global ramifications.Taaaake oooooooon meeee... I mean... the li-ving-day-lights!
Oh Timothy Dalton, you were such an awkward, creepy Bond. Women would sleep with you not so much because of your charm but because their vodka martinis were roofied, not stirred.. On the plus side he makes Daniel Craig seem like frickin' Santa Claus.
So whatta we got here... a boring bond, a boring and naive bond girl. Joe Don Baker. Despite these vast shortcomings Living Daylights is actually pretty interesting. Just imagine Raiders of the Lost Ark with Harrison Ford and Karen Allen digitally erased. - DirectorJohn GlenStarsTimothy DaltonRobert DaviCarey LowellA vengeful James Bond goes rogue to infiltrate and take down the organization of a drug lord who has murdered his friend's new wife and left him near death.Pretty good film, actually... if it weren't for the pointlessly over-the-top ending. Explores some of the darker revenge themes that have been attempted in other Bond films like Diamonds (very cheesily) and Quantum (not very interesting-ly). I think it works better in Licence to Kill because of the investment, seriously, dude, Felix Leiter gets his leg bitten off by a shark. And his wife beaten, raped and killed.
Yeah, and Wayne Newton is also in this movie.
And Q finally gets some field action, although it's awfully reminiscent of when Alfred drives Robin around on surveillance in the Batman TV show. - DirectorRoger SpottiswoodeStarsPierce BrosnanJonathan PryceMichelle YeohJames Bond sets out to stop a media mogul's plan to induce a war between China and the United Kingdom.
- DirectorMichael AptedStarsPierce BrosnanSophie MarceauRobert CarlyleJames Bond uncovers a nuclear plot while protecting an oil heiress from her former kidnapper, an international terrorist who can't feel pain.Great opening scene... crappy movie. Honestly, it's hard for a film to recover after a line like "are you here for a reason or do you just want a glimmer?"
Yikes. - DirectorIrvin KershnerStarsSean ConneryKim BasingerKlaus Maria BrandauerA S.P.E.C.T.R.E. agent has stolen two American nuclear warheads, and James Bond must find their targets before they are detonated.I like the scene where people at a high class social gathering are playing video games. Oh, and then Bond faces off with Largo on a game of missile command... BAH-DAT-DA-DAAAAAAH!
Would actually be a slightly above average bond film if the last twenty minutes and the score weren't a total snoozefest. - DirectorJohn GlenStarsRoger MooreChristopher WalkenTanya RobertsThe recovery of a microchip from the body of a fellow British secret agent leads James Bond to a mad industrialist scheming to cause massive destruction.James Bond XIV: The Undiscovered Country
- DirectorLewis GilbertStarsRoger MooreLois ChilesMichael LonsdaleJames Bond investigates the mid-air theft of a space shuttle, and discovers a plot to commit global genocide.James Bond... IN SPAAAAAAACE! What could possibly be wrong about that concept? I always wanted to see Bond in Middle Earth, I can dream, cannot I?
- DirectorLee TamahoriStarsPierce BrosnanHalle BerryRosamund PikeJames Bond is sent to investigate the connection between a North Korean terrorist and a diamond mogul, who is funding the development of an international space weapon.Not stupid enough to be fun, and too stupid to be believable. About as bad as it gets for Bond.