If you like horribly bad dialogs that could have been written by a 12 year old (nope, no joke) or that typical Louis De Funes-style overacting as seen in so many Asian movies and series, or the worst actors you've seen in a long time this one is for you. The plot is interesting but the story is told as flat as a pancake, without any windings, twists or sub-levels. Actually, I find this such boring that I am writing this critic while watching episode 7. So why do I watch this? Because I am actually interested in asian movies - but to find a gem (and I already found some), you have to go through such a pile of bad movies... I won't give up though.
Reviews
17 Reviews
1883
(2021–2022)
Vigasists out of control
28 July 2023
And yet again, a director has lost control of a make up team. And once again, the entire credibility of a series suffers. Already in the first minutes we see a settler woman lying injured in the dust after an exhausting journey - but the make-up is perfect. When I saw Indians with perfectly bleached teeth, I had to laugh out loud. It reminds me so much of the bad spaghetti westerns of the 60s. And this show really wants to be taken seriously? Directors, get a grip on your make up teams. This is one of the most common reasons that completely ruin movies and a complete no-go in a historical movie.
House of the Dragon
(2022– )
Sorry, too boring to watch
7 January 2023
Be warned, it's by no means GOT, it's just a boring soap opera with characters wearing GOT costumes. I forced myself to watch this until episode 6 but couldn't stand it any longer. Fans of classic soap operas (the brazil ones) might be okay with this. Breeders might also be enjoyed (since it features some babies and stuff) but for real GOT fans this is pure HORROR.
Some of the CGI created backdrops look quite good but this does not hide the fact that there is absolutely no tension, to epic characters, no good storytelling, no sudden turns or anything else a GOT sequel should have. It's a deadborn child.
Some of the CGI created backdrops look quite good but this does not hide the fact that there is absolutely no tension, to epic characters, no good storytelling, no sudden turns or anything else a GOT sequel should have. It's a deadborn child.
Dark
(2017–2020)
Decent story, lousy actors
24 November 2022
The subject is exciting, the story may be coherent - but the actors are so lousy that there is simply no atmosphere. It's like watching trash tv. In germany, there is a "trash tv"-faction that uses amateurs as actors - not only because it's cheap, but also because they mistakenly believe that amateurs would appear "authentic" in some way. But they don't. They just look and sound like amateurs.
You need professional actors so that the audience forgets that they are actors. And the cast of this series simply can't do that.
Worst of all, only one of the actors in this series has had any training in voice acting. And this is exactly what is 1000x more important for an actor than any facial expressions or gestures. Due to the poor acting performance of the cast, really EVERY character in this series seems cold, distant, wooden, like an NPC in a computer game. There is absolutely no liveliness in them.
Perhaps the director should have paid more attention to the talent of his actors than to "stylish" images. But as it is, it's a disaster to watch.
You need professional actors so that the audience forgets that they are actors. And the cast of this series simply can't do that.
Worst of all, only one of the actors in this series has had any training in voice acting. And this is exactly what is 1000x more important for an actor than any facial expressions or gestures. Due to the poor acting performance of the cast, really EVERY character in this series seems cold, distant, wooden, like an NPC in a computer game. There is absolutely no liveliness in them.
Perhaps the director should have paid more attention to the talent of his actors than to "stylish" images. But as it is, it's a disaster to watch.
Ambulance
(2022)
Paramedics need (lots of) makeup
3 May 2022
You're a paramedic - but you don't go to work without the perfect makeup. The lipstick and the blush must fit perfectly, even the false eyelashes may not be missing. Now do your hair perfectly and everyone will believe that you're all about saving people's lives.
This film could have been good - if the role of the female paramedic had been more realistic and if she wasn't a shallow make-up girlie. It can't be that even in 2022 Hollywood still hasn't learned to show realistic female roles where women are more than just makeup consuments.
Camera work is good by the way. As a drone pilot myself, I love the drone shots of the city buildings.
This film could have been good - if the role of the female paramedic had been more realistic and if she wasn't a shallow make-up girlie. It can't be that even in 2022 Hollywood still hasn't learned to show realistic female roles where women are more than just makeup consuments.
Camera work is good by the way. As a drone pilot myself, I love the drone shots of the city buildings.
Jolt
(2021)
I get aggressive with mouth breathers
25 July 2021
Lindy gets aggressive when someone eats loudly. Well, I get aggressive with mouth breathers - those people who walk around with their mouths open all the time. And that's what Kate Beckinsale does - she walks around with a permanent lockjaw throughout the entire movie. This irritates me so much that I couldn't concentrate on the movie at all while I was thinking "Ey girl, close your mouth, we live in times of Corona!". Jeez.
Paradise Hills
(2019)
Welcome to Barbie land
20 February 2021
If you've ever wondered what it looks like inside the head of a woman who basically never grew up (and I don't mean that as a compliment), you should watch this movie. It's the wet dream of all Barbie fetishists: princess dresses, lots of colorful flowers, perfect makeups and, oh...I almost forgot: really fancy lipsticks. Wow.
Quote from the movie: "We're here to be ourselves." - Says a woman in an expensive designer dress with top model make up, fake eyelashes and high heeled shoes to fake longer legs. A person about whom everything, really EVERYTHING, is artificial. Is this really how women see themselves when they talk about "natural"? If so, I feel sorry for them.
This film demonstrates impressively that there is not only "male toxicity", but also female toxicity. And this is what it looks like.
Quote from the movie: "We're here to be ourselves." - Says a woman in an expensive designer dress with top model make up, fake eyelashes and high heeled shoes to fake longer legs. A person about whom everything, really EVERYTHING, is artificial. Is this really how women see themselves when they talk about "natural"? If so, I feel sorry for them.
This film demonstrates impressively that there is not only "male toxicity", but also female toxicity. And this is what it looks like.
I Care a Lot
(2020)
Do you know where your parents are?
20 February 2021
Anyone who gives this film a bad review has probably overlooked the social criticism in it. And the film is full of it. It directs our attention to a topic that we tend to forget in everyday life, and that alone makes it worth seeing.
Yes, the main characters are sociopaths. They are despicable and unsympathetic in the extreme. And yet (or maybe because of that) they make a good living out of squeezing old people. This happens in real life, too. Every day. And this film puts its finger on a screwed-up system in which such things are possible - or would be possible.
By the way: be sure to watch the entire movie, don't miss the ending scene before judging it.
The crime story spun around the main theme is unfortunately mediocre, but the actors are top-notch, especially Peter Dinklage, who gilds each of his roles.
Another plus: I like movies with lesbian couples, as they usually seem more natural, human and emotional than the usual (cliche-like) straight couple in movies which we have been forced to watch for a century now: she = soft and emotional, he = masculine and grunting. Those dull days are over, thank goodness!
Yes, the main characters are sociopaths. They are despicable and unsympathetic in the extreme. And yet (or maybe because of that) they make a good living out of squeezing old people. This happens in real life, too. Every day. And this film puts its finger on a screwed-up system in which such things are possible - or would be possible.
By the way: be sure to watch the entire movie, don't miss the ending scene before judging it.
The crime story spun around the main theme is unfortunately mediocre, but the actors are top-notch, especially Peter Dinklage, who gilds each of his roles.
Another plus: I like movies with lesbian couples, as they usually seem more natural, human and emotional than the usual (cliche-like) straight couple in movies which we have been forced to watch for a century now: she = soft and emotional, he = masculine and grunting. Those dull days are over, thank goodness!
Booksmart
(2019)
If you don't get it, here are the instructions
10 February 2021
I am not a fan of high school or party movies. They are usually made for an audience with fairly limited intelligence, so it's mostly like watching monkeys mating for me.
This movie is in a completely different category. This is not about f..ing around, boozing and using as many dirty words as possible in 90 minutes. This is about friendship. It*s as simple. Did you get it, guys? Friendship. Not sex. Not drugs. A film aimed at more intelligent viewers. One that won't ruin your day, but will leave you smiling all the time. And yes, there are a few real laughs in it too.
This movie is clearly not made for pubescent males, who might react irritated to this movie (which you can see from some reviews). Kaytlin Deaver and Beanie Feldstein are the perfect cast and their good humor immediately jumps over to the viewer. I really enjoyed it.
This movie is in a completely different category. This is not about f..ing around, boozing and using as many dirty words as possible in 90 minutes. This is about friendship. It*s as simple. Did you get it, guys? Friendship. Not sex. Not drugs. A film aimed at more intelligent viewers. One that won't ruin your day, but will leave you smiling all the time. And yes, there are a few real laughs in it too.
This movie is clearly not made for pubescent males, who might react irritated to this movie (which you can see from some reviews). Kaytlin Deaver and Beanie Feldstein are the perfect cast and their good humor immediately jumps over to the viewer. I really enjoyed it.
King of California
(2007)
Actress ruins movie
13 August 2020
Once again a film with potential is ruined by an incompetent actress. Evan Rachel Wood runs through the entire film with only one single facial expression (exactly the same facial expression she already shows on the film cover, by the way). As in West World, she does not seem to know any other facial expression than the "half open mouth staring". In recent years this phenomenon has affected more and more US-American actresses. Is Botox to blame for this?
This constant expressionless staring with half open mouth reminds us of a person with respiratory problems and just looks plain moronic.
Not even Mr. Douglas, who plays his role with sovereignty as always, can save the movie if he is accompanied by such incompetent actors.
Where have they been the last few years, the good actresses? Why do we have to torture ourselves more and more with expressionless plastic faces?
This constant expressionless staring with half open mouth reminds us of a person with respiratory problems and just looks plain moronic.
Not even Mr. Douglas, who plays his role with sovereignty as always, can save the movie if he is accompanied by such incompetent actors.
Where have they been the last few years, the good actresses? Why do we have to torture ourselves more and more with expressionless plastic faces?
War of the Worlds
(2019– )
Lacks of everything
28 January 2020
You would think that in a TV show about the downfall of our civilization, the emotions and merits of people would be portrayed. But in fact all the characters you meet here are colorless and boring, even unappealing. They hardly talk at all, the dialogues are practical at best - if there are any at all. It feels as if a person with social attachment disorder wrote the script.
To the special effects: there are none. Nada. Nothing. No spaceships, no aliens, no energy weapons, just people walking around, hardly talking to each other. Here and there some strange robot dogs appear for fractions of a second, and that's it. This series is really just a waste of precious time and resources. It could have been so much more.
To the special effects: there are none. Nada. Nothing. No spaceships, no aliens, no energy weapons, just people walking around, hardly talking to each other. Here and there some strange robot dogs appear for fractions of a second, and that's it. This series is really just a waste of precious time and resources. It could have been so much more.
Surveillance
(I) (2008)
This movie just ruins your day
12 July 2019
Everyone of us, really EVERYONE, has the choice: to bring something good, beautiful, sublime into the world - or to make this planet even darker and a more unappealing place. The makers of this film have chosen the latter, for whatever reason. So don't expect something good watching it after a hard day. Watching this movie will pull you totally down. He'll simply ruin the rest of your day, that's all.
You involuntarily ask yourself what drives people to make such movies. A messed up childhood? Dammed up aggressions? An unfulfilled sex life? Messed up genes? I'll never understand it. This film falls into the category "Things the world doesn't need at all". I can imagine this film would be enjoyable for those people who are already suffering from a mental or emotional illness, those who already crossed the line. Healthy people should spend their time with better things, that's for sure.
You involuntarily ask yourself what drives people to make such movies. A messed up childhood? Dammed up aggressions? An unfulfilled sex life? Messed up genes? I'll never understand it. This film falls into the category "Things the world doesn't need at all". I can imagine this film would be enjoyable for those people who are already suffering from a mental or emotional illness, those who already crossed the line. Healthy people should spend their time with better things, that's for sure.
"Mummy, are men really all that stupid?"
17 May 2019
For me, this part of the "How to train your dragon" series is a total depreciation of the trilogy. The dialogs are dull and this film drips with sexual clichés and applied sexism.
Unfortunately, sexual clichés in kid's movies are commonplace (for Americans, at least). While women in this film are all portrayed as totally normal people, all male actors (both humans and dragons) are portrayed as either abysmally evil or mentally dull, almost retarded beings who are busy all the time recruiting female sexual partners.
One might think that the script for this film was written by a frustrated woman who has a deep-seated frustration or hate against men.
If women had been portrayed as clichéd as the men in this film, the outcry in public would have been great - especially because this is a children's film! Imagine what criticism there would have been if all the women in a film had been portrayed as blond, stupid and willless.
To portray men so one-sided seems to be okay? Why? Strangely enough, sexism directed against men seems to be socially accepted. We here in Europe are already two decades further than the people in the states and know: a human being is a human being, independent of his sex - and ALL kind of sexism or sexual clichés doe not help us to overcome this old encrustation. So while we in Europe are currently breaking down sexual prejudices and clichés and focusing on a person's CHARACTER, films like this help sexual cliché are further cementing - or they just turn old sexual clichés into the opposite. Is that what we want to teach our children?
A child's brain absorbs everything it sees or hears. A child's mind does not filter. I can still see mmovie scenes in my mind that I saw as a child and that influenced me a lot. And that's exactly why as a father or mother you should pay attention to what you present to your children. And so I am currently worried about what is presented to our children in animated films from the States, because they are dripping with sexual clichés.
Unfortunately, sexual clichés in kid's movies are commonplace (for Americans, at least). While women in this film are all portrayed as totally normal people, all male actors (both humans and dragons) are portrayed as either abysmally evil or mentally dull, almost retarded beings who are busy all the time recruiting female sexual partners.
One might think that the script for this film was written by a frustrated woman who has a deep-seated frustration or hate against men.
If women had been portrayed as clichéd as the men in this film, the outcry in public would have been great - especially because this is a children's film! Imagine what criticism there would have been if all the women in a film had been portrayed as blond, stupid and willless.
To portray men so one-sided seems to be okay? Why? Strangely enough, sexism directed against men seems to be socially accepted. We here in Europe are already two decades further than the people in the states and know: a human being is a human being, independent of his sex - and ALL kind of sexism or sexual clichés doe not help us to overcome this old encrustation. So while we in Europe are currently breaking down sexual prejudices and clichés and focusing on a person's CHARACTER, films like this help sexual cliché are further cementing - or they just turn old sexual clichés into the opposite. Is that what we want to teach our children?
A child's brain absorbs everything it sees or hears. A child's mind does not filter. I can still see mmovie scenes in my mind that I saw as a child and that influenced me a lot. And that's exactly why as a father or mother you should pay attention to what you present to your children. And so I am currently worried about what is presented to our children in animated films from the States, because they are dripping with sexual clichés.
Overlord
(2018)
The yelling Nazis are back
6 February 2019
Warning: Spoilers
It was worth a try: after decades Hollywood has finally resurrected the cliché of the evil, stupid, constantly yelling slapstick-Nazi-German that Steven Spielberg invented in his Indiana Jones movies. Mixed with nasty zombies and supernatural powers, this mixture of comedy and splatter might have had potential, but unfortunately it was only moderately realized. After a promising intro, half of the film is set in the French woman's boring attic. Only towards the end the movie finally picks up speed again but for me personally, this was much too late.
By the way, German is a very nice language, which sounds very poetic - if you don't pronounce it as exaggeratedly yelling and hard as the "Nazis" usually do in Hollywood movies. But anyone who has ever been to Germany knows that anyway and can therefore enjoy such movies.
By the way, German is a very nice language, which sounds very poetic - if you don't pronounce it as exaggeratedly yelling and hard as the "Nazis" usually do in Hollywood movies. But anyone who has ever been to Germany knows that anyway and can therefore enjoy such movies.
The Gifted
(I) (2017–2019)
The make-up artists are the real mutants
1 February 2019
Imagine you've been in prison for days. Sleeping there on a flatbed and getting beaten - but your make-up is still perfect. Even an extensive shower there can't harm your smokey eyes, your porcelain make-up and your lip liner.
I'm so fed up with this nonsense. It just robs a show all credibility. It's not the mutants who are completely out of control but the make-up artists on US-american film sets.
I'm so fed up with this nonsense. It just robs a show all credibility. It's not the mutants who are completely out of control but the make-up artists on US-american film sets.
Geostorm
(2017)
Shutting down your brain in 10... 9... 8...
20 November 2017
Hollywood studio boss: "Okay, folks, I want you to use everything that's been going through the global press for the last two years: Occupational disasters, storms, climate change. Just mix it together like a salad. And because my son has just turned twelve, I want this film to be dedicated only to twelve-year-old males. Okay, my son is not the brightest and he loves explosions and space ships - preferably exploding space ships - so make something he'll like for sure. Blow something up and stuff like that."
Submissive employee:"But shouldn't we also involve women?" Hollywood studio boss: "Sure. The standard clichés will do fine: a little girl who is interested in electronics and science, although we all know that girls at this age are just sitting in front of Youtube, watching make-up videos. But hey, that's what people want to see. And something about a female special agent kicking balls. That came out pretty well in the' 80s, I'm sure it still works."
Submissive servant:"Don't you think that we are mentally undercharging the audience and pretending that they're all mentally under-exposed?"
Hollywood studio boss: "Hell, they ARE. Oh - and because the whole world laughs at our President, I want the President of the United States to play a role that is better off than this living joke in the Oval Office. I want my son to believe that the President of the United States is smarter than Goofy. At least."
Submissive employee:"But shouldn't we also involve women?" Hollywood studio boss: "Sure. The standard clichés will do fine: a little girl who is interested in electronics and science, although we all know that girls at this age are just sitting in front of Youtube, watching make-up videos. But hey, that's what people want to see. And something about a female special agent kicking balls. That came out pretty well in the' 80s, I'm sure it still works."
Submissive servant:"Don't you think that we are mentally undercharging the audience and pretending that they're all mentally under-exposed?"
Hollywood studio boss: "Hell, they ARE. Oh - and because the whole world laughs at our President, I want the President of the United States to play a role that is better off than this living joke in the Oval Office. I want my son to believe that the President of the United States is smarter than Goofy. At least."
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