Change Your Image
uberholly
Reviews
Suits (2011)
My mom loves it
Too glib, too old. The dialogue, attitudes, costumes and story lines are perfect for a soap, not suitable for anyone looking for smart stories or originality.
Every man wears a suit and every woman wears a sleeveless dress, heels and lip gloss. Same hairstyles, too. Characters never have a messy desk or talk at a slower pace or take the time to look as though they're considering what someone else has said. It's monotonous, rapid-fire drivel with predictable endings. Why is it still on? Who's watching this junk that would justify a 'final season'?
LA Law was much more interesting 20 years ago.
See How They Run (2022)
Cute, but
If Sam Rockwell's accent were less abominable, I would've really enjoyed this. So many cool actors in it! But, oy vey. And I absolutely love Sam Rockwell!
Why hire a great actor who just so happens to be crap at doing foreign accents to play the main character who just so happens to be of a differently accented persuasion?
I'm asking without having researched the matter.
Saoirse Ronan twinkles playing the part of the young widow-turned-rookie cop.
It's cool to see David Oyelowo in a light, fun part using *his* original British accent. He's good at everything (swoon!).
Plenty of talented UK actors out there could've carried the film instead.
God's Favorite Idiot (2022)
Yikes
So bad. Melissa McCarthy is fabulissimo but this script was doomed from the start. It makes me sad to watch it. Like a worse remake of Bruce Almighty with 10 times the plot holes.
Royal New Year's Eve (2017)
Lordy, no
Worst fake British accents ever, hands down. As much bank as Hallmark makes, you would think they could spring for a dialect coach.
Or hire one of the many attractive starving artist actors in the UK. Good grief!
Blithe Spirit (2020)
Huge letdown
I can't say enough about how bad this version is.
Leslie Mann and Dame Judy Dench are the only ones even trying to act.
There is absolutely 0 humor left from the great original script.
Emma. (2020)
A Pointless Remake
There are moments of sincerity, and the sets, locations, hairstyles, furnishings, jewelry, clothing and lack of makeup were provided with such care.
So why make Emma into a 'Mean Girl' character?
NCIS: Naval Criminal Investigative Service (2003)
Mark Harmon deserves better
Soap opera scripts; glib, soap-level acting and laughable plots.
If my mother didn't watch it 24/7 I'd never have to see it.
How has this lasted so long?
Community: Intro to Felt Surrogacy (2013)
My god
This was absolutely the worst episode ever. I kept waiting for a turn, but then they started singing with irony. Words fail me.
Bloodmoney (2010)
Really?
I guess you can make a video and call it a documentary or whatever you want these days. No fact-checking necessary. What a load of hooey.
Ilana Glazer: The Planet Is Burning (2020)
Love Broad City, Don't Love This
At first I thought there was something wrong with *me* because I wasn't laughing. Before I knew it I'd turned away to, like, fold laundry while I listened. It never got funnier; in fact it never got funny.
You can be woke or not, be feminist or post-millennial or blasé or blue or observational or slapstick a damn mime as long as you're funny.
If you're not funny -- then you're doing it wrong.
Love on Iceland (2020)
She picked wrong, yo
Big fat NOPE. No woman would pick that boring basic bro photographer dude over a tall drink of blue-eyed Icelandic water like Johann.
I watch HMC pics because my dad has dementia and he like/tolerates watching them pretty much all the time. Occasionally I don't hate them. This one had better locations than most.
Hillary's America: The Secret History of the Democratic Party (2016)
Quite a load of hooey
From the team that brought you "Aliens in the Pentagon," one can only expect the pinnacle of right-wing hysteria
Unplanned (2019)
Silly
Playing fast & loose w/ the truth (the newspaper coverage is easy to find on reputable local & national news sites, why lie?) in a Hallmark Channel production style -- that's where everyone is white, thin & blandly attractive w/ tv commercial acting skills, lots of pastel clothing and just so darned earnest.
It belongs on TBN, not Amazon Prime.
Aquaman (2018)
Patrick Wilson must've lost a bet
Aquaman has it all. The worst dialogue, every movie trope evar, feeble acting and massive plot holes.
Yeah yeah, the visuals are amazing but the story requires a bigger suspension of disbelief than we should be asked to provide. Everyone wears bulky, metal armor - underwater. Atlantis is near enough the surface to get sunlight AND emits crazy tons of self-generated light & energy but human scientists haven't found them and every big-to-little thing the movie doesn't want to explain is chalked up to being caused by the Atlanteans' secret also-not-explained proprietary energy source... but seriously, most of all, it's the lines. "You are the bridge between land and sea! I can see that now." GAH.
I haven't read the comic books but I trust those guys wrote a more plausible story, right?
Still Jason Momoa grunts, leers, smirks and fights his way through scenes to seem realistic as a superhero and he has some unpolished qualities that work in his favor, even on the bad dialogue. He's obviously been practicing since GOT.
I submit that his level of hotness and his hard work deserve better. For the love of all that is good in the universe, someone please write him a better movie.
Momoa hotness gets 15 stars from me; I deduct 12 for how crap the movie is overall.
*Also, Julie Andrews can be the voice of the Kraken because she was already Mary Poppins AND Fraulein Maria. Djimon Hounsou & Willem Dafoe should know better. And Roy Orbison must be turning in his grave.
Out of Blue (2018)
Really bad
I watched the whole thing. Partially out of boredom, but also because it was weirdly interesting to see the full measure of a real piece of crap that had some fine ingredients used so poorly the final product is almost camp.
The Chef Show (2019)
Vanity project
Episode #1 starts with Goop, and that's red flag #1. Following episodes seem dominated by Jon Favreau playing with the host chef's equipment while they talk. We get it, you made a chef movie, you know how the toys work. Fun visits for the guy, maybe it just didn't need to be filmed.
Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat reset the bar.
The Comedy Lineup (2018)
More, please
Each of the artists is funny and several are fantastic, but each person has at least one genuine LOL moment.
I've watched both seasons a few times with friends, and they totally hold up.
When is Season 3?