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Reviews
A Town Called Malice (2023)
Cringingly bad....
I cannot believe the high reviews. They are either paid for, or written by 11 year old boys! It is so bad it is hard to watch. The lad that ends up in Spain with his annoying girlfriend is ridiculously bad as a supposed hard nut wannabe gangster. This might even be worse than Elderado! The 80s songs almost make is bearable for the first half an hour, then they become a bit gimmicky. I genuinely don't know how this stuff gets the budget and sign off from Sky!
Made it to the 2nd half of the 2nd episode before I had to turn it off! Makes Gangs Of London look like a documentary!!! I can only assume it is a comedy, and I mistook it for something else!
Nightride (2021)
Just not very good.
Acting is poor. Plot is poor and some silly bits in it. Most of all, it is just a bit boring. Also, the whole in-car bluetooth calls thing has been done before.
Candyman (2021)
One the worst movies I have seen in ages.
So rubbish it's hard to describe! More comedy than horror. And a strong message being red down your throat for the whole duration of the movie. Feel annoyed with myself that I have just wasted £4.49!
Untold: Crimes and Penalties (2021)
Neanderthals playing a game, watched by neanderthals.
The players are absolute idiots. The fans watching have to also be idiots. Even the game of ice hockey as a whole, loses credibility having seen this. Lots of very low mentality people seem to be glorified in this episode. Bit of a shame, as some of the other Untold ones are very good.
Million Dollar Beach House (2020)
The most unlikeable people in the world all in one programme..
Genuinely amazing that the most unlikeable, stupid, arrogant people can end up earning lots of money from a job that takes no skill.
Embattled (2020)
Bad acting, bad fight scenes, poor plot...
Like a B-movie. Genuinely confused as to how it has the rating it does. Annoyed I spent money on it!!!
F9 (2021)
Movies for 12 years old boys...
Cringingly bad! Turned it off after 45 mins. So so bad...
Blood Red Sky (2021)
Good grief - it's really bad....
The acting is awful. The dubbing is awful. I genuinely don't understand how some people have given this a high score.
Killing Escobar (2021)
Like listening to a drunk in a pub
Over an hour of some guy telling you stories that sound ridiculous.
Army of the Dead (2021)
A steaming pile of poo 💩
I genuinely don't even know where to start. How do films like this even get funded and made? Proper god awful. Turned it off after 45 mins as it was cringingly bad.
Big Stan (2007)
Dog t*rd awful...
I cannot believe movies like this actually get made. Not funny in the slightest. At all. At any point.
ZeroZeroZero (2019)
Great production, silly story. Shame..
A kid and his sister ended up orchestrating a 5 ton cocaine deal. There is a bit around episode 4 where their boat breaks down and rather than the Senegalese just shooting the kid and taking it all, they end up helping him for 50 kgs of it! Just one example of some silly bits in the plot.
Blue Story (2019)
Cringingly bad....
I genuinely cannot describe how bad it is! The acting, the script - it's all so bad it's laughable.
Bad Boys for Life (2020)
The high ratings have to be paid for.
Just turned it off after 1 hour.
So so bad... you might enjoy it if you are 11 years old... and not that bright.
White Lines (2020)
Anyone remember how bad Eldorado was?!
So bad, it's actually a bit amusing! The actress who plays the lead, Zoe, has to be one of the worst actresses ever - some of it is actually a bit cringing!
Semper Fi (2019)
Silly...
A group of friends making stupid decisions to get their idiot mate free. The prisoner himself isnt at all likeable, doesnt take any responsibility for his actions and only has himself to blame. The acting and writing is also a bit naff.
1917 (2019)
Spectacular
Wow! A proper cinema movie - I was gripped from the start. Some of the scenes were so intense I found myself clenching fists! It really is a spectacular movie and I would recommend anyone to go to the cinema to watch this on the big screen.
Uncut Gems (2019)
Did I watch the same movie?!?!
WTF?! This has to be one of the worst movies I have ever seen. It genuinely gave me a headache. Shambles, is the best one word I can use to describe it. The music that accompanies it is the most ridiculous pairing ever. I cannot believe the high ratings from critics and on here.
The Witcher (2019)
Hilarious CGI!
The opening scene of episode 1 made me laugh out loud - the worst CGI I have seen since Sharknado!
Avengement (2019)
Hahahahahahah - what a steaming pile of ....!
Truly awful. Cringing script. Cringing acting. Ridiculous fight scenes. There is a certain type of stone island wearing people that will lap this up.
Lip Sync Battle (2015)
Dumb
Watching LL constantly pretend to be gobsmacked is a bit cringing. To sum it up, the show just isn't funny!
Us (2019)
The Worst Movie I Have Seen In Ages...
Am I missing something?! How has this got such high reviews from the critics? I would compare it to a straight to DVD (or Syfy channel) comedy horror. It truly is the biggest pile of steaming poo I have seen this year. More fool me for paying for it on box office!
White Tide: The Legend of Culebra (2018)
Unlikeable people with over active imaginations..
Not sure how it can be a documentary when it seems to be mostly idiotic people telling ridiculously unbelievable stories with no proof! Netflix - give me a call. I am happy to make stuff up for money!
Life of the Party (2018)
God awful!
How do films like this even get made? So, so bad. Just not funny in the slightest. Is Melissa McCarthy even that funny? I get that Bridesmades was good. But everything she has done since has been pretty dire. This really is a steaming pile of poo!
Bomb City (2017)
Can't understand the high ratings..
I cannot understand the high ratings. I get that it is low budget and the director's first film, but it is poor. Firstly, the acting is terrible.
Both the punks and the jocks come across as complete prats, so it is hard to root for either of them. The punks probably annoy more, because they are in the film more. I get the impression you are meant to root for the punks, but they come across as idiot trouble makers who bring it on themselves. Aside from this the film is incredibly slow and a large part in the middle seems to have no relevance to the story.