kirk_bones Reviews

Dark City (1998)

what makes us human

[8/10 · 22 June 2008]

what if all our memories are imprinted in our brain and are actually someone else's. this is the premise of this fantastic sci-fi/film noir. John Murdock(Rufus sewell) wakes up in a hotel room with a dead prostitute and no memories at all not even his name.In his search for the truth he finds himself being pursued by a group of alien beings called the strangers. keifer Sutherland is a strange doctor,hired by the strangers,who is the only one who can help John find the truth he is looking for ,Jennifer Connely,who does an awesome job,is supposedly his wife though he cant remember her at all and William Hurt is a police chief looking for a serial killer of prostitutes who gets drawn into Johns world. This film also has awesome performances from Richard o'Brien and Ian Richardson as two very powerful strangers. This is one of the best and most original sci-fi films i have ever seen but you cant take your eyes off it cause the action comes thick and fast. this film asks the very deep question, what actually makes s human.No answer is given so i guess its up to the individual to answer this question for themselves. This film has moved right into my list of favourite sci-fi movies and if you are a sci - fi fan like me then this film is well worth a look

The Machine Girl (2008)

gore fest of fun

[7/10 · 21 June 2008]

this sci-fi/horror gore fest is Japanese cinema at its gruesome disturbing best. basically the plot goes as follows,Japanese school girl has her brother and his best friend killed by the son of the local yakusa boss and the sons friends and his sister vows revenge,along the way she loses her arm and gets fitted with a machine gun on the stump.She then proceeds to get her revenge in the most gruesome way possible.These include nails being hammered into heads,people being sliced in half and having knives stuck through the back of their heads. some of the scenes were pretty comical,look out for the drill bra, but the gore though very over the top some of it still made me cringe. i have read different reviews on this site and other sites with mixed views on the movie.however i found it very entertaining .The only problem that i have with this movie is the overuse of gore but all in all i give this film 7/10

The Passion of the Christ (2004)

the truth will set you free

[10/10 · 16 March 2008]

if you want to carry on thinking that the crucification was nice and cute like in a picture book then don't watch this movie This is a movie filled with graphic violence but not violence for the sake of it but because being crucified was a nasty ,violent business Saying that,the movie was also interspersed by quieter scenes,eg the last supper,so that the viewer wouldn't be overcome by the graphic violence. The devil also kept appearing but that was not needed i think. this has been called a snuff movie by certain people but i totally disagree ,this was a personal tribute to the passion by Mel Gibson and the movie is so much better for it. Every whip lash and nail hammering could be heard but this also was the way it was. Being a born again Christian since my teens,the graphic images and violence were upsetting but thats what Jesus went thru so i could be set free and this movie has strengthened my faith "i am the way ,the truth and the life........"

Season of the Hunted (2003)

have you heard the one.....

[1/10 · 19 November 2007]

have you heard the one about a gang of hillbilly cannibals that lure a group of high flying executives,via the internet, into the woods to hunt wild game with bows but plan to hunt the executives and add them to the menu. Sounds good doesn't it- wrong. With better direction and a half decent budget this could have been a classic horror film instead of the hodge podge that we are offered. The direction is haphazard at best,the camera shots are unsteady and you sometimes feel that the camera is in the hands of a toddler.In the fight near the end of the movie it looked like the director had lost his camera and had to use his home camcorder The Vietnam flashbacks were uncalled for and just made a poor movie even worse. Another problem i had with this movie was that the "good"guys weren't any more endearing than the bad guys and about half way thru i lost any interest in who killed who. In conclusion i have seen some pretty good late horror movies on the horror movie channel

but alas this wasn't one of them,and can only be put the file of ,Why did i bother

Mississippi Burning (1988)

deeply moving and personal

[9/10 · 12 June 2007]

This is a movie about racial hatred and bigotry ,in nineteen sixty four,in the American deep south after the murder of a coloured man and two civil rights activists. The cast is led by an impressive Gene Hackman and his co-star a very young William Defoe,as two FBI agents who travel to Mississippi to investigate. this is a very disturbing film and quite horrific in parts due to the fact that it is loosely based on a real event. The level of hatred portrayed was also disturbing because it happened less than forty years ago and in some places In the deep American south such feelings still apply. Although the film is very bleak, the end of the movie does give the viewer hope. The sight of white and black citizens standing together shoulder to shoulder at a funeral actually made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. This film isn't an easy ride by any means but does move ,horrify and give hope in one breath. This movie thoroughly deserves 9/10

Half Light (2006)

leisurely horror

[8/10 · 11 June 2007]

Rachel Carson,a successful writer goes to a small Scottish island to recover after she loses her son in a drowning accident. this is a horror movie more remenicent of a fifties horror flick.Unlike most horror films of today this film moves at a leisurely pace. There are a couple of jumpy moments but the film certainly doesn't suffer from the lack of scares. The film combines haunted houses or in this case a haunted lighthouse with a psychological thriller and unlike a lot of films carries this off very well in deed. After years in the movie wilderness and a few very bad movies Demi Moore basically carries this film and proves what a good actress she can be given the right script. for a very enjoyable slightly spooky piece of horror and for sheer enjoyment i give this film 8/10

Ice Station Zebra (1968)

submarine sabotage

[9/10 · 4 February 2007]

this is a cracking thriller adapted by Prolific author Alister Maclean from his own novel of the same name. Basically,American submarine captain Rock Hudson has to transport the secretive Englishman "mr Jones" ,played superbly by Patrick Mcgoohan,to the Antarctic station "ice station zebra" to recover a roll of film. add to the mixture seemingly anti- communist Russian played by Ernest Borginie,captain of a band of marines ,Colonel Anders who seems too perfect and a saboteur who wants to stop them getting to the station at all costs and u have the background for a tense cold war thriller. As in many films of the time the pace does seem to drag at times but the ending is very tense and the amazing Technicolour scenes of the submarine under water and trying to get through the ice i found fantastic. OK it was obvious that the scenes at the end were filmed in a studio but hey no matter. I really enjoyed this film and rate it 9/10

The Garden (I) (2006)

the garden

[8/10 · 28 December 2006]

i saw this film on the horror channel which at last is beginning to show some intelligent movies and less of the brainless slasher movies that it is so fond of. so to the plot A young boy with deep psychological problems,played brilliantly by Adam Taylor Gorden, and his dad go on holiday to a small ranch,owned by the very creepy Lance Henrickson in one of his better roles. It turns out that Lance Hendrickson is the devils disciple and the boy has to defeat him and prevent the reversal of the apocalypse. This movie is shot brilliantly in vivid colours,the death scenes aren't many but the ones there are ,are very well executed(no pun intended) Being of a religious persuasion ,i found this film also had some deep fundamental truth's like love the sinner hate the sin and some greater being having to have been in charge of the big bang. Add to this some deeply moving images ,the most moving being a horse crying and u have a very intelligent well thought out horror movie. The only real complaint is that it took a bit long to explain the plot and the final scene was a bit confusing.These are only minor details and don't take anything away from this movie. This film is definitely worth 8/10

Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior (2003)

new kid in town

[10/10 · 7 November 2006]

If u think u are a martial arts film fan and have seen it all before then think again.This will be nothing like anything u have ever seen before and it will blow u away. Tony Jaa plays Ting a young man from a small village in Thailand who is an expert in Muay Thai(Thai boxing)and when the head of the all powerful village Buddha statue is stolen Ting goes to the big city to get it back. The things u see in this film are literally beyond believe and make Jackie Chan(of whom i am a huge fan) and jet Li seem like ballet dancers in comparison. the scenes that stick in my mind are wen he fights psycho ,Mad Dog,who will use whatever it takes to win and wen Ting fights with his pants on fire.During the fire scene i remember thinking ,omg this is not possible. I watched this movie with the thought that it would be another overrated kick flick but how wrong i was ,this film is simply in a league of its own. There are scenes that will make u wince ,scenes that will make u chuckle but the enduring memory of this movie will be the fights,once seen never forgotten. Move over Jackie Chan and Jet Li -there is a new kid in town and his name is Tony Jaa

Brighton Rock (1948)

classic film noir

[9/10 · 1 November 2006]

this film has got to rank very highly in anyones list of classic film noirs and is maybe is one of the most gripping films that ever came out in the forties.Forget your Hannibal's and your Norman bates',Richard Attenbourgh portrayal of pure evil as Pinky head of a small gang of hoodlums in the seedy world of the Brighton of the forties,is one of the most chilling portrays of evil u are likely to see.Wen a larger gang starts making waves and a naive waitress Rose finds out more than she should then Pinky slowly begins to crack. The many chilling moments in this movie include pinky winning a doll at a fair and pulling out it's thread hair so he could play cats cradle with it. The way Pinky slashes some ones face , the way he calmly kills a rival and pushes someone off a Bannister without a flicker of remorse send shivers down your spine and make u realise that this unmerciful callousness has bought u into the presence of one of the most chilling villains ever to have graced the silver screen. This film also shows well the Brighton of the forties and its seedy underside. This movie also has a love story between Rose and Pinky inserted seamlessly into the plot. This film has an incredibly romantic ending involving a gramophone record player that needs to be watched out for. All in all this could well be what one could call a perfect film noir and is worth seeing just for Richard Attenbourgh performance alone

Silent Hill (2006)

welcome to silent hell

[9/10 · 18 October 2006]

i have never played the computer game so had nothing to compare this film to but i found it to be a nerve wracking,chill a minute thriller and some of the scenes especially the last major one in the church made me wince and clench my fists,also at certain times in this film i was shouting at the screen. Rose is taking her ill daughter to silent hill to find a cure but then has a crash and her daughter vanishes so Rose goes into the ghost town of silent hill to find her. What she finds there will be something that she and the viewer don't expect but something they will never forget. i think this is the only film i have seen made from a computer game that actually works-compared to the monster hashes made of tomb raider and resident evil of which the less said the better. watch this film please but remember once u enter the nightmare town of Silent Hill u will never leave

Raising Cain (1992)

never saw that coming

[8/10 · 27 April 2006]

I am not really a big Brian De Palma fan and i only had this on on in the background while keeping only half an eye on it but by the end was actually gripped by it and giving it all my attention. John Lithgow plays Dr Carter Nix who as a child was a psychological experiment for his warped father and this led to him developing multi-personality disorder,which included his father and the evil Cain. Now I only remember John Lithgow from the excellent out of this world comedy "Third Rock from the sun" and didn't really think he could do the multiple personality thing but I was pleasantly surprised and let me tell you that his portrayal of the evil Cains actually made my skin crawl. If you watch this film you need to keep a real eye on it as sometimes the personality switches come thick and fast and this film has a lot of twists and turns. You know there will a twist at the end but when it happened i thought,"wow ,now i never saw that coming" This is a very good psychological thriller and i give it a solid 8/10

Past Midnight (1991)

b+

[8/10 · 27 April 2006]

If a film looks like a B movie and smells like a B movie then in my opinion it usually is a B movie but this film while definitely not an A movie it isn't far off being one. Ben Jordan(Rutger Hauer) is found guilty of stabbing his pregnant wife and spends 15 years in jail. The film begins when he is released from jail ,moves to a small town to start again and is assigned a social worker Laura Matthews (Natsha Richardson).the two form an unlikely friendship and become lovers.While everyone,including the towns chief of police, think he was guilty,Laura has her doubts and after a spot of investigation comes to the conclusion that he is actually innocent. Now we have probably sen this done before and no doubt better but the chemistry of the two main stars carries the film along nicely and the final scenes of the film are very gripping,almost edge of the seat stuff. After the "The hitcher" and "Blade runner" i would have liked Rutger Hauer to have been a bigger star in Hollywood but his career like that of Lou Diamond Philips,another actor I think should be a bigger star,seems to have been relegated to straight to video movies.. Natasha Richardson is a very pretty English actress that hasn't really been a movie trailblazer but she handles her role,including a quite steamy sex scene,very well and as I said her on screen chemistry with Rutger Hauer carries the film along nicely. Don't watch this film and expect any Oscar winning performances but if you want a neat compact thriller then with this film you can't go far wrong.

Past Midnight i give a very commendable 8/10

Deadbolt (1992 TV Movie)

single white male seeks same

[7/10 · 26 April 2006]

i have read a lot of reviews slating this movie but i found this to be tense engrossing thriller. Medical student Marty(Justine Bateman)needs a roommate after her flat gets broken into so she takes in Alec(Adam Baldwin). At first he seems like a nice young man,he likes opera,cooks and seems like the perfect roommate till he decides he wants Marty for himself. He begins changing the locks,transforming the flat and finally locking Marty in a padded room.Anyone who gets in his way gets dispatched by various means which include killing someone with a tyre iron. Justine Bateman ,an actress we just haven't see enough of, is great as Marty who thinks she can look after herself till she realises things are out of her control. Sure we have seen this all before in various movies but this film is lifted by Adam Baldwin who is more creepy and evil than one can possibly imagine and he certainly scared the hell outa me. I like the way this film used violence and psychology to put it's point across and it certainly puts me off ever taking in a lodger. Deadbolt i give 7/10

Bewitched (2005)

Bewitching but ultimately forgettable

[7/10 · 19 April 2006]

Obnoxious actor Jack Wyatt(Will Ferrel) is in a major slump after his last movie bombed,"The only film not to sell any dvds" as Jack himself points out to his agent,so he begrudgingly accepts one of the lead roles in a remake of the classic TV show "Bewitched" but he cant find a leading lady to play Samantha.The woman he does find is Isabelle Bigalow(Nicole Kidman),who unknown to him is actually a real witch This is not one of director Nora Ephrons best movies and is not even in the same league as her all time classic,"Sleepless in Seattle" but it certainly has its moments and still includes her trademark of old songs in her soundtrack. While being a love story/comedy it also has a large jab at the Hollywood studios being controlled by large stars who have their own agendas. Will Ferrel is his usual mad self but shows he can also do the sensitive side of a role and Nicole Kidman is more cute and lovable than i have seen her for a long time. Michael Caine does well in his small supporting role as Isabelles father and Shirly Mclain has a very small role but I think they could have given her a bit more to do. If anyone watches this film in the hope that it will be like the real "Bewitched" TV series will be disappointed but anyone who watches it without comparing it to the TV series might be pleasantly surprised. This is not a laugh a minute comedy but it has its sidesplitting moments, especially in the filming scene at the table and Michael Caine popping up in the supermarket in the strangest of places. This is a bewitching,sweet movie but ultimately forgettable and not one that will stick in your memory after you've seen it. 7/10

King Solomon's Mines (1950)

Timeless Classic

[9/10 · 19 March 2006]

Stewert Granger was never more imposing as a leading man, Deborah Kerr was never more beautiful as she was under the African sky and Africa was never more scenic or more deadly . This was like something out of the Boys Own annual and while connoisseurs of the book might complain about the total lack of similarity between this film and H Rider Haggard's classic, to us lesser mortals this film has the ability to take us to a different world.A world of sun ,sand and deadly creatures. So some of the animals may not have even been from Africa and the deadly spider was obviously straight out of the prop cupboard but seeing a lot of the animals in their natural habitat made up for this and the stampede scene literally took my breath away. I spent a large part of my life in Africa and this film made me quite homesick and the African music before the credits actually bought tears to my eyes. I caught this film on TCM in their weekend matinée slot and I just want to conclude by saying thank you TCM for another bit of marvellous movie magic

. King Solomans Mines 9/10

The Descent (2005)

don't go into the caves today

[10/10 · 18 March 2006]

This could well be the scariest most shocking film you will see in a long time-be warned. Like the excellent "Deathwatch" this film takes place mostly underground and Neil Marshall uses the dark and sombre surroundings to his advantage. I think that this film works so well because it attacks you on two fronts and plays on two of mans most primal fears-the fear of being trapped in an enclosed space with no chance of escape and the fear of being stalked by the unknown. I would compare this film to the finding of a strange box that you have no fear of opening but when you do you find something totally unexpected that could possibly kill you. Another similarity with "Deathwatch" is the ending which doesn't explain itself and leaves much to the viewers interpretation. Watch this film if you get the chance but I will give you a friendly bit of advice,don't watch it alone and keep concentrating till the credits because the ending doesn't come when you think it should. Marvellous ,nailbiting and gory,I give this excellent British Horror film10/10

Django (1966)

Man with no name revisited

[7/10 · 28 February 2006]

A stranger dragging a coffin saves a girl from being bull-whipped and heads into a nearby town dragging the coffin behind him. This is basically a Fistful of Dollars without Clint Eastwoond.However the stranger is more mysterious and the villains are more evil.I was intrigued as to what was in the coffin but when it's contents were revealed I saw that it was something much worse than a dead body. This film can be quite brutal in parts especially when the local KKK were shooting Mexicans and when the Stranger gets his hands broken at the end. This was an okay movie but personally I think it was lacking that certain edge.I saw the dubbed English version and that might have something to do with it as the dubbing was pretty poor. Actually though I think the main problem with this film was the leading actor Franco Nero. He is a good actor but I don't think he has the charisma of Clint Eastwood and it certainly showed.Also the supporting actors didn't quite convince the way a Lee Van Cleef or an Eli Wallach would. In conclusion,the streets are dustier and the villains are darker but if you want to see the spaghetti western at its finest then stick with "The Fistful Of Dollars" trilogy as these are the films that are the benchmark for every Spaghetti western since and unlike this movie they will not disappoint. Django-7/10

Rabbit-Proof Fence (2002)

"We need to protect them from themselves"

[10/10 · 28 January 2006]

In 1931 Aboriginal children were taken by force from their parents,taken over a thousand miles away and put in dormitories and trained to basically be domestic slaves to the white man and to finally breed out the Aborignie race. This is the most moving heart wrenching film i have ever seen.It follows three girls who escape and travel along the rabbit proof fence,put up to keep out rabbits from farm land,in an attempt to get home. The beginning of the film moved me like no other film ever has.As the girls are being taken off in a land rover their relations claw at the windows to reach their children and when the truck has gone, the wailing and the grandmother beating her head with a rock were too much for me and I'm not ashamed to admit that i broke down completely. Kenneth Brannagh plays "the protector of the aboriginal race",A O Neville .His portrayal of evil clothed in the cloths of Christianity is all the more chilling because he truly believes that he is doing the right thing.

Watch the film yourself as its the only way you will truly understand the shameful treatment that was meeted out to the aboriginal race in this shocking true movie. I shall close with A O Neville's final chilling words, "We must protect them from themselves" 10/10

The Haunting of Seacliff Inn (1994 TV Movie)

spooky and chilling

[8/10 · 27 January 2006]

For a PG rated film made for television this is spooky and very chilling movie. A couple of yuppies want to move away from the rat race and open an inn,bed and breakfast to us English.They find the perfect house but it has a problem,there is an old lady living there.The old lady suddenly dies mysteriously and so they buy the house. At the start of the film when the old lady's radio and TV turn on mysteriously ,you get the feeling that something or someone also occupies the old house. The couple,Ally Sheedy and William R Moses,move in and start renovating the house quite happily and then things start to happen.An electrician,working on the house gets electrocuted,log fires start to go out suddenly and they encounter an evil black dog.Add to this mixture an attractive lodger who vanishes and a wind blowing in the attic during an intimate moment and you have the makings of a classic ghost story. The thing i really liked about this film were the camera angles and long distance shots that give you the feeling that you are seeing things through the eyes of the entity. This film did have a few potholes .The biggest one being that you never find out why the lodger suddenly appeared then vanished and what her purpose for turning up was in the first place. On the spookiness scale I definitely give this film 10/10. Overall I give this film 8/10 due to the fact that I thought the ending was a bit weak. That being said,if you want a film that sends a few chills up your spine and brings you out in goosebumps then take a look at this one.I promise you wont be disappointed.

My Favorite Year (1982)

must see movie

[8/10 · 26 January 2006]

This film is set in the early days of television when all shows were filmed live before an audience. Young script writer Benjy Stone is asked to look after fading ,alchoholic ,swashbuckling film star Allan Swann who is appearing on the comedy show that Benjy writes for. Mark Linn Baker does a good job as Benjy but this film belongs solely to Peter O Toole who plays the alcoholic Allan Swann perfectly.This may well be because the role mirrored his own life in so many ways. This has to be the funniest film i have seen in ages.Scenes where Allan steals someones girlfriend in a restaurant,where he swings from a balcony on a fire hose and the final chaotic scene on stage involving gangsters and musketeers had me rolling around in stitches. This film had tender moments too.Allan Swann waiting in his car to see his daughter who he hadn't seen in years is one of the many moving scenes in this film. This film combines laughter with moments of contemplation perfectly and deserves 8/10

How the West Was Won (1962)

what a film.

[10/10 · 26 January 2006]

The best word i can use to describe this epic western is magnificent.This was a film of sweeping panoramic scenes,of wonderful music and of a cast that consisted of some of the greatest stars ever to grace the silver screen.Hows about this for a cast,Spencer Tracy,narrator,Karl Malden,James Stewart,Gregory peck,Debbie Reynolds,Lee J Cobb,Richard Widmark, John Wayne and George Peppard.These are only a few of the major stars of the time that were in this picture.It would be impossible to do the same with the modern star equivalents as it would cost too much money. I first saw this film when I was a child and it simply blew me away.Even now years later I may be older and wiser but this film still fills me with awe. The greatest western ever made?Apart from Unforgiven,my all time favourite western,I would say that this is a masterpiece and deserves to be in anyones top ten favourite movies.It is certainly in mine 10/10

My Sweet Killer (1999)

weird but compelling

[8/10 · 25 January 2006]

This is a weird but compelling low budget shocker that I found by chance on the Horror Channel early one morning.They often put on a lot of rubbish but sometimes in the dross you find a pearl such as this. Charlie Cavenaugh is a strange young man who works in a factory and is visited in his dreams by the dead girl that lived in the flat before him. The film is about Charlies slow but inevitable decent into madness.His deteriorating mental state is portrayed by dream sequences that become more frequent the more disturbed Charlie becomes. As the film develops you feel more and more sympathy for poor Charlie and at the inevitable sad ending,after Charlies killing spree,you feel sympathy for Charlie and not for his victims as they basically asked for what they got.You feel the sorrow of Charlies friend Buck who finds him and genuine grief for Charlie who had trouble sleeping and was finally pushed over the edge. I warn you that this is a sad and disturbing film that could well stay with you far beyond the closing credits. 8/10

Carbine Williams (1952)

classic Stewart

[8/10 · 25 January 2006]

This is the story of convicted murderer David Marshall Williams who invented the M-1 carbine rifle that was used in WW11. This is James Stewart at his laid back, laconic best.However he injects a darker side to his role as a moonshiner,wrongly or rightly accused of killing a federal Marshall.His innocence or lack of it was neatly sidestepped as this is the story of his invention not of his crime. For modern films viewers the prison scenes may seem slightly twee and a bit too clean cut compared to modern prison classics such as The Shawshank Redemption and the Green Mile but some scenes really pack a punch they include a man being whipped and James Stewert in solitary confinement for differences with the prison warden. Jean Hagen does well in a supporting role as his wife who promises to wait for her husband till he completes his 30 year prison sentence. This film also has moments of great beauty the foremost being David M Williams being let out of jail for 24 hours to visit his wife.He is trying to get his wife to divorce him and she says, "without you I am only half a person,you are my other half".Priceless. This may not be considered by many to be a classic movie but it is certainly a very satisfying one that gives you a warm feeling inside at the end. Thank you TCM for showing another golden oldie.8/10

Locusts (2005 TV Movie)

Below par Lawless

[4/10 · 24 January 2006]

This sort of thing has been done many times before with bees,slugs,rats and even ticks so why not a creature feature with locusts. This is a made for TV feature starring one time butt kicking warrior princess Lucy Lawless. A swarm of genetically engineered locusts escape from a laboratory and head across America creating a swathe of destruction as they go. This may have been an interesting idea on the drawing board but it has one big problem, the locusts just don't feel threatening.In classic films such as The Birds and The Swarm you feel threatened by the creatures but in this the locusts are more likely to induce a yawn rather than any sense of panic or terror.Half way through the feature the locusts turn carnivorous and this gave me the feeling that ideas had started to run out. I know Lucy Lawless may be trying to move away from Xena but surely she could choose better vehicles for her talent than this half baked attempt at creature feature terror. The dialogue was forced, the direction was slow and probably because the locusts were CGI based they didn't even begin to bring me out in even a Luke warm sweat. I give this 4/10 and that is only because of Lucy Lawless.I will always be a Lucy Lawless fan and anything she is in deserves some sort of score. My advice to anyone out there is to avoid this feature at all costs.