Phil_J_G Reviews

Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)

It is as bad as reviewers say. Avoid

[4/10 · 24 April 2022]

This film doesn't have Michael Myers It's not a slasher film either So should it even have the Halloween brand? No way It should stand alone, and be placed firmly in the bin The acting is poor, the script is awful, it's just difficult to watch.

Yes some reviews mention how great it is but I just have no idea why they think this.

Do yourself a favour, don't waste your time.

This film, whether as an odd one out of the Halloween series, or stand alone, is amateurish at best, and dull as dishwasher at worst. Yuck.

A Hidden Life (2019)

Quit after 58 minutes. Yawn

[5/10 · 14 September 2021]

Maybe this film is amazing, or suddenly becomes great, but I've just seen an hour and I'm utterly bored.

The snail's pace is painfully slow.

It's just not inspiring enough to spend another 2 hours.

Yes there are people who like arty films or whatever, and I've seen many 3h films. But this? No. Too long, too slow. Fail.

Downhill (I) (2020)

Treat this as a drama, not a Will Ferrell comedy

[6/10 · 9 September 2021]

At first I was expecting 100 jokes per second. Nope, it isn't standard-issue Will Ferrell comedy attack. It's a drama with a humorous tone (it does have funny bits though).

If you treat it like Will Ferrell showing he can act then you'll probably "get it" and enjoy this much more.

The awful reviews score can be ignored. Yes I said it. These suffer from extreme bias and viewer expectations.

Anyway, the film is a family on holiday, and the events which affect how this family unit operates. It's pleasant, it's nice, could even say it's a cute movie.

If you want Will Ferrell doing something kinda different then watch this film. It won't change your world but will probably make you see Will in a different way.

Note Will really isn't the main character at all. He is almost a co-star to his film wife who can be a real pain...

Killerman (2019)

It's good

[7/10 · 23 August 2021]

The film starts off fast-paced. And this pace keeps going throughout many twists and turns.

It keeps you on the edge of your seat.

Well-acted and a decent film. Definitely worth watching.

Don't Let Go (2019)

Watch it. You'll thank yourself

[7/10 · 17 August 2021]

The acting, production, script, etc...all are really good.

The plot thickens and the suspense builds.

There's a common theme underlying the film but this is done with originality.

I cannot give it less than 7/10 as it really is worth watching.

Where Is Kyra? (2017)

It goes nowhere, very slowly

[5/10 · 15 June 2021]

Having such big actors, I was hoping for a decent film.

Instead, the plot moves at a snail's pace and nothing really happens.

They could quite easily chop off an hour and the film would be at least bearable.

Nor great, not good. Just dull. The only consolation is that the acting is good but this isn't enough to earn great reviews.

One Cut of the Dead (2017)

Truly awful and doesn't deserve high scores

[4/10 · 1 June 2021]

The first section of the film looks cheap, with a woman screaming annoyingly for over half an hour.

Then the first section ends. A second part begins which shows how to make the first part. Why? Who cares how to make a poor film.

I just gave up. The high scores are full of bias. There are many zombie films that are better than this rubbish.

I'm trying to be as fair and honest as I can when I say this film should be avoided. You will either hate it, or despise it.

Update Watched final half hour.

This part of the film is easily the best, and ties together the first 2 parts. But this final part is still just average, maybe a 5 or 6 out of 10 at best.

So overall... Part 1 (bad zombie film) 3/10 Part 2 (making the film) 3/10 Part 3 (merging parts) 6/10 Overall 4/10 = nowhere near the high 9 and 10 out of 10 scores given by most (biased) reviews.

Two for Joy (2018)

Yawn. Definitely not 10/10

[5/10 · 19 May 2021]

The cast, acting, script, etc are all top form The story is believable But, it's a miserable and boring film that fails to deliver greatness.

I'd expect this to air on BBC2 around midnight, midweek. It's a typical slice-of-life view that offers nothing new.

The previous comment that mentioned "Jellyfish" was bang on. That's a much better film.

If you want to see poor people then wait until the sun sets in any coastal town and you'll see this film in real life.

Valley of the Lanterns (2018)

Cute and good story telling

[6/10 · 27 April 2021]

At first, having the hand drawn backgrounds with CGI people seemed a clash of visual styles, but it works.

This is good storytelling and the characters are likeable.

I'm glad I decided to see this.

The Assistant (III) (2019)

Watching an hour of just working in an office

[6/10 · 4 April 2021]

Not a lot happens. Really.

This is very minimalist and most of the film is like watching people working in an office.

This film will be divisive, same will love it, and others will hit stop and hate it.

I'm just shocked by how it's quite addictive to watch as there really isn't much going on. There could have been twists, turns, etc but they would have got in the way. It's nice.

Book of Monsters (2018)

Watched 34 minutes, that was enough

[4/10 · 25 March 2021]

I'd lost interest after first opening scene, played on phone, then rewind to start and watched again. This film had a cheap and nasty feel, and got worse as the actors revealed lack of talent, and the poor script just added to this. Once the main event happened, the special effects were awful. No idea why this got an 18 rating as a kid could see this and not be affected. I was just about to finish film but several reviews claimed this film was great. I watched a bit more but had to stop watching. This film is awful and is no way in the same league as the 80s gore films. Just avoid, it's not good at all.

Domino (I) (2019)

Poorly written and boring

[3/10 · 4 March 2021]

This film should've been good. It was not. There's a top quality team behind this including actors and director but something just doesn't work. It's as if no one cared. The film plods slowly through an amateur script, the acting is ok but the cinematography, fight scenes, and other elements fail to deliver. Even the music seems to be completely mismatched with the film. It's not a 1/10 film but only see it to learn what makes makes film poor

Ray & Liz (2018)

Quit after 13 minutes

[4/10 · 13 January 2021]

The film had old 4:3 aspect ratio, and yucky 70s colour palette. It started ugly. Watched an old bloke in a horrid room being poor. After 13 minutes, film depressed me, and couldn't watch any more.

Note Saw "Jellyfish" instead and this is definitely worth watching. A real gem

Overlord (2018)

A decent horror wrapped inside a war film

[7/10 · 7 September 2020]

The opening is super glossy. Reminds me of the gung ho space drop of marines in Aliens.

I didn't know what to expect as I thought the horror element would be the horrors of war, but fortunately, a nice yucky nasty bit was revealed.

This film had moments of greatness. Some bits of Resident Evil mixed with The Thing, or even Dead Snow. There's good solid performances from all, plus action and gut ripping splattering effects.

All in all I'm very glad I saw this, as it truly delivered an entertaining and different movie.

Possum (2018)

Creep, ugly, sinister slow burner

[6/10 · 18 August 2020]

The look of this film is ugly. From the burnt house, mud, main characters, wastelands, etc, it hurts the eyes on purpose. The plot drags you though itself slowly, building creepy and sinister undercurrents. There are many loops or repeated features in the film, which hammer iconic moments, like a flashback, or memory. It's slow but hangs you there, waiting for answers. This film reaches it's conclusion and whilst you get an answer, it doesn't feel right. It's worth watching purely for how it lets your mind add it's own thoughts as an extra layer onto a creepy base.

Luis and the Aliens (2018)

Cheap, ugly, and not fun

[4/10 · 2 August 2020]

I had hoped for a decent animation but this film failed to deliver. The characters are ugly to look at, and the aliens just look like jelly moulds. The detail and shading looks cheap / made-for-TV. I rarely stop a film halfway through but for this, I made an exception. It has no merit, charm, humour and lacks interest. Sure there'll be people who love it but I've seen many animated films better than this. Watch a rerun for the tenth time of "Flight of the Navigator" as you'll have a better time than watching this Luis stuff.

A Rough Draft (2018)

Great first half, but gets confused in second

[6/10 · 27 July 2020]

The main character starts off doing well but things start to go a bit wrong as the plot develops. From the start, a Sci-Fi film is revealed.

There's an annoying blonde in the film who is integral to the story, acting like a nemesis to the main character. She's fairly wooden in acting ability but also needed to counter the 'hero'.

The first half of the film is damn good. Has some decent action, visual effects and a good sense of direction. If the film had stayed on this course, it could've quite easily scored 8 or more as it really entertains.

However, the second part of the film is just odd, muddled, and let's the film down. The point of the plot, characters, etc, are just thrown away. Yes there are more action scenes but they seem to be sprinkled into the film at random.

Overall, this isn't a stinker as many other reviews seem to point out, but it does suffer from a weak second half.

The Predator (2018)

Ignore poor scores, this is cool

[7/10 · 9 July 2020]

A predator crash lands on Earth. Yes, the old formula returns with some standard issue Predator branding but this film gets up to speed delivering action throughout.

The main character is a sniper who has to avoid the army intent on acquiring alien tech (straight out of Aliens, a la Carter Burke). He is joined by a group of army misfits who all have their own likeable quirks, plus a biologist brought in to understand the predators.

There's many Predator features sprinkled throughout the film which make it fit with the collection: invisibility cloaking, arm bracelet weapon, spaceships, jumping through the trees (homage to the original Predator), and multiple deaths. The tried and tested military vs aliens has been done many times, but it works. Oh, there's even predator hounds too, nice.

If you want an arthouse deep and meaningful actor type film, then don't watch this, but if you want a no-brainer Sci-Fi action film that thrills from start to end, see this.

I hope someone out there also sees this as a neat addition to the franchise, and doesn't get put off by the masses who say this film sucks. It's good, watch it.

Unfriended: Dark Web (2018)

Sinister and creepy, and better than I expected

[6/10 · 30 June 2020]

I didn't think I could watch someone's computer monitor for the duration of an entire film...I was wrong.

The main plot, consisting of a group of mates online, starts to unravel an unpleasant and sinister side.

This storyline builds suspense at a good pace, delivering clever and shocking 'events' (pretty warped imagination by the writer), as everything gets progressively worse for the group.

Yes it's cheap looking but that almost adds to the overall effect. Think of it as some mutation of Blair Witch...online web chat version.

I'm glad I saw this as it's better than the average review scores it received.

Unbroken: Path to Redemption (2018)

Slow, and lacks punch of original Unbroken

[4/10 · 27 May 2020]

I had hoped this would be as good as the first film, Unbroken, directed by Angelina Jolie...it was nowhere close. The story continues from the original but after World War 2, where the main character has to cope with returning to modern life, with certain problems arising. The first hour is slow, and churns through the motions. Acting is ok, but the pace and story starts to become boring. There isn't the gripping fight to survive in the first film. This could have been a generic film based on anyone suffering from PTSD and alcoholism. You could quite easily set this as a post Vietnam film and it would have more interesting cutaway scenes, flipping back into the war zone. After the first yawning hour, the film sees the main character who is misbehaving get worse. No prospects are available and a downward spiral plods along. Finally, when it's the final make or break, the character decides to give up the booze and go Christian. Yes, it's one of those. I know this is what happened in real life, but really, it feels very preachy to me. I just felt ripped off at the end. The ending was overdue and was poor. Avoid this as it won't give you the punch delivery expected from the original.

Springtime in a Small Town (2002)

This film requires coffee!

[6/10 · 6 October 2006]

OK, I watched this film taking a day off work with the flu but I wish I had gone to work now.

It is unbearably slow to the point that any connection with the film is impossible. I only came on to this website to check how many more minutes of mind-numbing drivel I had to bare.

I waited for some special something to increase my interest in this film but it never happened.

The atmosphere simply does not build up and does not engage the viewer which is a shame, as this film could have been much better.

At several points in the film I was very tempted to stop and watch something else. It is like watching a blur waiting for the mist to clear but you will keep waiting.

There are many films out there which have made a lasting impact to this genre. I will not name these films for brevity but please look elsewhere if you wish to see quality treatment applied to this topic.

Also, the film is in a constant state of darkness with a tint of yellow which lets the cinematography down somewhat.

I have not seen any other films by this director but I shall carefully review comments before making such a brave decision. I just wish I had spent more time selecting this film to watch.

The film lacks a driving storyline and whilst the acting is good, they cannot save what is essentially a dull film.

One good point and reason for the score I have provided is that the scenery is very pretty and cannot give reason to complain. So if you want to see a pretty picture (only) then this could be the one but otherwise, just avoid this non-entity.