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Reviews
The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023)
Missed Opportunities, but fun. 12/20
Short Review: Fun, Fast Paced Action, but funny enough, "Fast Paced Action" is probably what hurts this movie most. Reason being, is due to the Rudimentary plot that missed multiple opportunities with most of its characters in its 90 minute runtime.
Now for a more lengthy review, the voice casting turned out to be rising over expectations. Chris Pratt achieves a solid job as Mario, Anya Taylor-Joy as Peach was fun, Michael Keegan-Key really brought the best out of Toad and made the character at its most charismatic. The biggest victors however, are Charlie Day as Luigi and Jack Black as Bowser. Charlie Day stays true to Luigi, while Jack Black goes all out with Bowser, who's arguably the most difficult character to voice in this animation and yet, the most exciting.
But why is this movie "good" at best? Well, it's mainly got to do with Illumination Studios, and their fixation of turning key characters abnormal and not fully developed. This film felt rushed and sometimes out of place. They missed a chance on adding more Super Mario-like themes to its soundtrack, but even then, that's not the biggest issue. The biggest issue is that most of the characters are unfinished and don't have thriving motives. Mario's biggest motive, is to rescue Luigi and company from Bowser, but there's a problem, it heavily lacks heart and a more innovative or touching reason. Peach goes full Comic and not the way she's usually portrayed in the games, yet I still thought she was a bit wasted. They don't utilize their cast to its full potential. You can tell when you watch the movie, it lacks a lot of grit and it's too relatable to the real world instead of sprinkling more nostalgia. The Sonic movies, at least did much more in-depth with its characters and plot when they tested the real world. This movie isn't even live-action, yet it doesn't feel the truest to classic Mario. Positives are the overachievers of the voice-cast and the stunning visuals with the action. The world building is pretty nice.
It's a film worth seeing because of its merits, but don't expect one of the best animated movies ever crafted. It stays true to illumination's art, but it's not risk-taking or heart-grabbing.
Obviously, the critics were more accurate about this film than the cult audience. It's a fun rollercoaster with well executed action, but it lacks an in-depth story and some of the truest fans won't feel much afterwards.
12/20.
Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023)
Fraudulent due to its blandness cliche and missed opportunities. Grade: D-
What was the point of this? It's basically boring slasher villains in overalls wearing an animal mask in a film that's a cheap, campy horror flick with cheese cliche and moments with hysterical acting that they try to pass off as "Winnie the Pooh if he was evil". You can probably use it as something as background noise, mainly because it isn't scary and it has an uninspiring story. It's just another worse-than-mediocre horror film and there was basically no logical reason from a storytelling standpoint to make it about Winnie the Pooh.
It has your go-to cliches. Opening scene with indecisive couple that go too deep into the woods until they meet their deadly fate? Check. How about an introduction to multiple immature adolescents until they're dead? Check. How about splitting up? Check. How about the car ignition not starting?? Check. How about turning anti-hero hillbillies against the slasher only to be eviscerated?? Check. How about one of the main characters trying to convince the slasher that they can still change for better? Check. That last one was gross and molded cheese but I guess the scene where "Pooh" magically grows larger and takes his retaliation hit against that hillbilly was pretty idiotic.
This movie really only gets points because of the animation in the opening. Too bad they screwed that up by a generic yet silly plot. Totally haven't seen the same plot 1 billion times before. Only difference is that, at least with some of them there were original ideas and not reimagined Disney characters. What on Earth were they thinking?
Grade: D-
Citizen Kane (1941)
Citizen Kane - 98/100
Yes. This movie is THAT GOOD! For something that's 83 years old, Citizen Kane is really a timeless Masterpiece that influenced Cinema. The Story is told so well that the idea of investigating "Rosebud" isn't something that's going to take control of the entire film (and it proves that in its ending). Orson Welles nails Charles Foster Kane down to perfection as he is greeted with every emotion and what it's like to be at the peak of his career and at his worst.
Charles Foster Kane bids himself as one of the wealthiest, most well known figures in America and makes new "friends" along the way. As you'll see, Kane gains and loses people along this journey and it truly is the origin story of a man who has a memorable rise with a depressing downfall. He does plenty for his 2nd wife Susan Alexander (Dorothy Comingore) even when she didn't ask for it (like building an opera theater) but her personality comes off as clingy and ungrateful but she is noticeably in the right as Kane made questionable decisions during their marriage and never really expressed intimacy nor comfort, He was too brutally honest in favor to boost the credibility and fame of his political career rather than inserting more optimism and cheer into others, however, that's part of his excellent character development when you get to the end. If this movie was originated in the 1990s, it'd be considered a 1000/100 movie for its Cinematography translation alone.
The Godfather (1972)
Influential
This Film contains Splendid and Balanced Cinematography. Realistic and Comprehensive Acting and some of the very best storytelling with its twists.
Don Corleone (Marlon Brando) sits at the very top of his profit and is a family and trustworthy man that has to deal with the violent actions of the business he's running due to Mob Run-ins. Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) seems to be a peaceful man and wants to live that way originally but his unfortunate luck puts him thrown in with a very heavy family business that are known for being a part of these violent actions. When Don gets shot and then hospitalized, Michael has to protect his father and thus officially steps in with business he never wanted to be a part of. The Family thinks Michael would be most safe at Italy where he probably wouldn't be tracked. It seems that way, until his new Wife Apollonia (Simonetta Stefanelli) is murdered by a car bomb. Michael then goes back to his family where his Father Don makes him the Godfather. Since the actions of protecting his Father, Michael has no choice but to be part of this mess. This is High level Character Development that Audiences can relate to. Only difference is that Michael has to play the "King" role and use his intelligence to operate this machinery. You feel every character's emotions and what they have to go through. You also feel the tension between near-death/death scenes. 97/100.
Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2010)
Some Egos Can't Be Vanquished
The People can speak for themselves. The Plot was written by a Toddler. It's just an Underwhelming, Boring and Headache inducing wave of Nothing. How does the Director grow such an ego to use Windows as his Editing Software instead of paying the correct People? Apparently the Movie taking 10 Billion Light Years to actually get going wasn't the worst thing about this Cinematic Disasterpiece. The Presentation is even worse! For a Movie released in 2010, it looks less eye gauging than 1910s even for 21st Century Standards. The Sound is Terrible and you can barely hear anything. The Horrifyingly, Badly Edited Birds were Obnoxious and took control of the Audio.
4/100.
Superhero Movie (2008)
High Risk, Low Reward Parody
Superhero Movie is something I'd like to call as "Wasting Talent and Wasting Time". The Cast is obviously good but the Writing, Pacing and Character Development is Absolutely Bad. The Overall Work On-Screen is Rushed and there are a lot of times where the Acting isn't Believable and there are plenty of scenes that could've used Way More Emotion or Way less. There Were No Boundaries. The Whole Plot is to get a crush to like the Protagonist back and it transitions into a Spider-Man 1 Parody. Obviously, It's a Movie that's not striving for much success except for some Easy Money and to Have Fun. There's no build up or anything and everything just feels like "Pretend". At least there are a few Funny moments but there are quite a few Missed jokes that could've been completely left out. Plot Delivery was just Terrible with its Plot Holes and Unnecessary Scenes. It's a Shame to see a National Treasure like Leslie Nielsen be thrown into these but at least he's one of the few good qualities about Parody. Overall: 16/100.