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Reviews
The Hitcher (2007)
Stupid Stupid Movie
Need I say more? The first one was actually decent. Now are we going to remake a movie every 20 years and throw CG at them? How about working on the script, story, and believability? I stopped counting all the ridiculousness of this movie. But here's a few examples. Heading east on a highway to Houston, then in New Mexico, then north to Lake Havasu. Get an atlas! The 442 odometer kept showing 15509 every time it was shown, even after driving many miles. The struggle for the motel bathroom door, are you kidding me? She's holding him out, then when the door closes it's evident there's no lock on the inside, he can come right on in? The LT says he's going to take her to a Trauma Center in Albuquerque then parades the bad guy right in front of her, like that's not piling on the trauma? The Bible spouting family doesn't pull over when they fly off the cliff? She doesn't want to initially go back and pick up the hitcher, but later after they kill someone she wants to go back to them? Where does it end? There is no backstory on why he is the way he is, it's just random scenes with absolutely no rhyme or reason. Like I said, throw CG at the mess and hope people like it. It's an easy substitute for coherent storywriting, plausibility, and sense. Not even worth your time if they paid you to see it. Makes FD3 look like a masterpiece.
Final Destination 2 (2003)
Yet another plot hole
Again they mentioned about the order they will die. Well, they didn't die after the highway pile-up in the order they died during the highway pile-up. It was kinda random, actually. What gives? Why make that a major point when it's not observed all the way through? Nos. 2 and 3 are admittedly fun to watch, but they just contain way too many implausibilities and confusion and absence of logic in many cases. Still, better than Fried Green Tomatos....Now, the pick-a-part. Ladder through the eye kept going even though the ladder should have stopped after hitting the asphalt. Plate glass will not liquefy a human but will pound you into a smaller ball. Elevator inner doors prevent outer doors from closing on a person. Steering wheel airbags don't deploy when the force is from the side. Barbed wire, aside from a small barb every foot or so, is larger than 1/8" and is round and will not cut through a body like razor wire, rather it will just slingshot you painfully (same error in Ghost Ship). The hospital room blowing up was just plain boring, what was so special? And I don't know of many barbecues, whether propane or briquettes or wood, that blow up like that. That's why the first movie was somewhat more believable. The second and third were just excuses to hype the deaths over the story. Regardless, they're still OK.
Final Destination 3 (2006)
Stupid, stupid movie
Not one thing that happened in this movie could be explained by the laws of physics, electricity, thermodynamics, or any scientific means. I realize it's fantasy/science fiction, but doesn't it call for some realism? After all that's what would make a movie like this really effective, more realism so you'd think it could really happen to you. Consult your local science teacher. Or is America so dumbed down that they can't see these things? I tried to suspend disbelief because, well, after all it's just a movie, but it was so far-fetched that it couldn't even be enjoyed as fluff. NO STARS, TWO FAT OBNOXIOUS THUMBS DOWN...