Cemetarygirl Reviews

Necrosis (2009)

Melting moment

[1/10 · 14 January 2011]

Again seeing some of the previous reviews. It does make me wonder who wrote them. This movie did have potential. In fact I would have focused on the cannibal dead, rather than the assumed alive. The acting was abysmal. I have seen more animation in a zombie video game. It's like they go through the motions without having experienced anything. Next time go pick up some 'actors' from a January sales group. They at least get excited about their discoveries.. Now the plot sounded decent enough. Group of friends go to a (may I say beautiful) cabin that looks more today than 1800's (and if its been renovated since then, well they did a lovely job. So they go to this cabin and they hear the stock story and well that was pointless wasn't it. They see bodies in the snow and do not get noticeably worried, just leave it there. They say later when the body vanishes that animals took it. yet not a bear print or dragging mark to be seen. You know, I can't even make a snow angel without affecting the place that I arise from. One of the group (of course the one with mental issues) sees creepy dead people. Now here that should have been taken to a whole new level and the director and writer should have made them attack the living, not have them as harmless ghosts. Then the Snow truly would have been Bloody. And when the killing starts, well that was another pointless exercise, no real build up, just bang! Watch Dead Snow instead, that is much better.

Wyrd Sisters (1997)

Hubble bubble, toil and a good knees up!

[9/10 · 14 July 2008]

I have been a fan of the Wyrd Sisters for a long time, but it is only now that I am fortunate enough to see this film in full. I did catch a little when it was shown on the ABC years ago, but was not able to get a copy until now. And I am glad I did. Christopher Lee as DEATH was superb! He definitely owned that role. And Jane was a most perfect Magrat. I actually imagined a couple of different actors as Granny and Nanny, still they did a wonderful job of bringing these characters to life. Terry Prachett knows his Witches and comes up with the most amazing characters, that have kept his numerous fans enthralled and in a state of wonder as we identify and mimic and quote him as many times as we can fit it in. This story a mixture of Shaksperian drama with more magic, more deaths and deep and darkened dungeons. And a cat called Greebo. As the Witches try not to interfere in the course of things after saving the Kings son from the usurpers henchmen. We have a Fool that isn't, a traveling bunch of thespians (from Thespia). I for one loved the simplicity of the animation, it was a great joy to watch and I will continue to do so as Discworld turns. Exit stage left.

The Marine (2006)

What a guy!

[8/10 · 13 July 2008]

I too, cannot understand why people do not like this film. It is great! It has a good script and the lines that are uttered by both Rome and Morgan are priceless. This is not high art. It is comic book stuff, fantasies that a lot of us wish that we could enact. I thought that John did a great job and felt his acting was understated, he fell into the role nicely and his body is not bad either. A marine on a road trip with his wife, after an unsuccessful attempt at civvie life, gets forced to follow a group of diamond thieves after a very explosive robbery. These thieves get a lot more than they bargain for when they kidnap Johns wife. So we get lots of fire power. Lots of fire and shoot'em up car chase where the bullets are definitely flying. And a walk through the swamp to their destination has John in pursuit. All this peppered with Morgans diatribe about being black and later the reason he doesn't like rock candy. Romes cruel, yet charming wit and Johns focus. Lots of explosions and firepower. Loads of hand to hand combat and even a girl fight. This movie is pure enjoyment and deserves a lot better than others have seen fit to give it. And I hope that we see more of these action flicks. A good way to spend some time.

Planet Terror (2007)

Trashy drive-in cinema at its best

[10/10 · 12 July 2008]

This is my unashamedly guilty pleasure. An emotional ride from first bump to the last grind. From the opening credits and Roses dancing to the sexually intoxicating music. I was hooked. Rose does a stunning job in this film and to watch her and listen to her throw away lines makes this film well worth watching. That is not to take away from the other great cast and Freddy was superb in his role as El Ray. He completely drew me in and made his part extremely believable. One thing that made this move was the choice of cast as each person played his or her part in the interaction of their roles. I hated Josh Brolin and could have shot Tarantino thereby proving their abilities to make their characters believable. Even Fergy (who only had a short screen time) was great and I wish she could have lasted a bit longer. Of course this was over the top. It was supposed to be, after all Who could with out a bit of practice strap a gun to their leg and shoot off into the air, or rotate in the manner that Rose did without falling over. But that is the great thing about imagination. One can do anything. As can Rodriguez as he assaults our senses to almost overload and we come away from the picture feeling tired and exhausted. Because we went on that ride too. I love his films and his talents and I hope he has many many more films such as this up his sleeve

Lake Placid 2 (2007 TV Movie)

No crocs in this lake

[2/10 · 30 June 2008]

I am afraid that I must join the barrage of people who abhorred this movie. I knew, or just assumed when I pick this up that it was going to be lightweight. I was not expecting Shakespeare for the creature feature but obviously I was expecting something. Sad to say I did not get it. John Schneider was inept as a Sheriff and should have taken his job more seriously. He lives in an area where giant crocs where destroyed and he does not keep a watch on his area or on that sweet little old lady who fed them. Granted she got eaten but was there not a few bells that went off regarding her sister? And what is with his deputy who did not even close the lake? And he was going to hit her with a dart. Sacking her would have been better. Of course we have the usual half naked women frolicking in the water. They died too quickly. And the girl who went out with the jock. Why? He was an agro twerp who needed a chill pill, and so stupid he could not recognise a giant egg belonging to some sort of predator. Did he not live there and therefore know about what was in the lake, or maybe he just did not listen to his parents warnings, if they gave him any. And what is with the girl, If that was my dog I would be worried, but not a mention of Daisy until she showed up. The so called Great White Hunter was a complete waste of space and the death I felt sorry about was his assistant/slave/go get guy. He should have lived, as he was one of the best ones in it. Cloris was great as a crazy old woman and although she was demented or just overly fond of crocs, she came to a sad end. So if you have not seen either flick, watch the first one but spend the money for this one on more chocolates and popcorn

Howling II: ... Your Sister Is a Werewolf (1985)

Grrrrrrrrr

[7/10 · 15 June 2008]

I must be one of the few people who enjoys this movie. Apart from the 2 leads and the script writing its good. What? I hear you say. Well its got a great song that suits and an opening sequence in a club where Marsha Hunt struts her stuff and manages to get the guys (who think she is up for anything) as lunch for her Lycanthropic friends. And an early limited line piece from Jimmy Nail. We have of course Christopher Lee who was underutilised in this role that needed better supporting cast and then of course better writing. We get a trip to Transalvania and lacklustre dancing from the small group of extras and warped hoteliers, that oozed lechery and debauchery. But for me it was the castle and Sybil Dannings role that I loved filled with fornicating werewolves and old witches that looked uncomfortable and a little lost-should they have been in the aged care home, rather than there? The Howling song was played whilst the orgy was going on and Babel did a great job with it. It reminded me of The Hunger for some reason, still, it was fun. Loved the small mob that was out to attack the Werewolves and revenge for their loved ones. (Couldn't they afford any more?) This movie was fun and I think that with all the remakes someone could rewrite this and keep to the main format but with a better script and better leads (apart from the Werewolves and Mr Lee of course.) So relax, get out the popcorn and wish that the Werewolves would win

Boogeyman II (1983)

Boo!-Not!

[1/10 · 13 June 2008]

As all before me has stated this movie- well its raining at the moment so I think I will sit outside and watch the grass grow-at least there is some point to that-whereas this movie bored me to tears. I kept loosing the plot and wondering how people could be killed off in a house and no one else notices until the end. Again as others have already pointed out by such dread means as an electric toothbrush and shaving cream. Unlike others I just found this VHS in a second hand shop and only paid $2 but still I could have bought a chocolate instead at least then I would have gained a little satisfaction.....This movie deserves to be placed straight into the rubbish bin.

Nemesis Game (2003)

Meaning of Life!

[4/10 · 15 May 2008]

I was looking forward to this movie. Trustworthy actors, interesting plot. Great atmosphere then ????? IF you are going to attempt something that is meant to encapsulate the meaning of life. First. Know it. OK I did not expect the directors or writers to actually know the meaning but I thought they may have offered crumbs to peck at and treats to add fuel to the fire-Which! they almost did. Things I didn't get. A woman wandering around in dark places and lonely car parks alone-oblivious to the consequences. Great riddles that fell by the wayside. The promise of the knowledge therein contained by the original so-called criminal. I had no problem with the budget and enjoyed the suspense. I understood and can wax lyrical about the fool and found Adrian Pauls role crucial and penetrating and then ????? Basically the story line and the script where good up to a point and that point was the last 10 minutes or so. What? Run out of ideas! Such a pity that this movie had to let us down so badly. It may not comprehend the meaning and I really did not expect the writers to understand it but I was hoping for an intellectual, if not spiritual ride and got a bump in the road

Death at a Funeral (2007)

A memorable send off

[6/10 · 9 May 2008]

I was sooo looking forward to this movie. And I was laughing in the first few minutes. So I settled back and was disappointed. The best part was played by Alan Tudyk with special mentions to Kris Marshall and Andrew. Otherwise I found this predictable and dare I say it....Dull! Oh yes I loved the drug thing and Alan played it so well. Otherwise I had seen it all before. The hard done by brother, the successful and much preferred famous handsome brother. The distraught wife (naturally) the interfering father, the clumsy put upon annoying friend, and the secret homosexual affair, with a person of small stature, all added up to a formulaic farce that was being played out 40 years ago in other British farces a la Brian Rix. including the speech near the end where the put upon brother comes into his own. I have read some of the good revues but for me, it just left me as cold as that man laying in the coffin.

Skinwalkers (2006)

Big bad wolves

[5/10 · 19 March 2008]

To be honest I was rooting for the bad wolves. And I think they where right. Why deny who you are, you just end up in therapy. This movie had too much talking and not enough doing. The premise, a boy protected by the whole town and his mum who was clueless, having not noticed anything odd in 14 years. Then after the big bad wolves come to town, looking cool on their motorbikes and in assorted outfits, mainly denim. And the quiet townsfolk come out shooting. All hell breaks loose. This was the best part for me So the chase is on and only now is the mum told about the Blood Moon and what may happen when her son turns 13 years old. So we have more shooting after a visit to the hospital , as the boy has suffered an attack of asthma and gets hurt in all the ruckus. So more mayhem as they have yet another shoot em out. Would have preferred more fighting Werewolf action than a lot of gun fire. OK not at the hospital but in the woods would have been just fine by me. Then one of the good wolves is turned and she expresses the joy of being, but well you can guess the rest. Losses on both sides, wolf fights and the clocks a ticking. This movie only reaches an OK on the scale of werewolf flicks, and I was wishing the bad wolves had done a lot better than they did. They did leave an opening for a second Wolf movie though. Ho! Hum!

Inspector Lewis: Reputation (2006) Season 1, Episode 0

British detectives at their very Best

[10/10 · 16 March 2008]

This is an excellent series. Still set in Oxford but with a lot more class. This which emanates from Laurence Fox, who steals the show in my eyes. In this he plays James Hathaway, a man who thought he should join the clergy, and in his studies he came to a crossroads, where he realised that for him this was not the best way to serve. He comes across as a caring individual with a lot of interests a la Morse but without the self destructive tendencies. He listens to the classics, plays the guitar, is in a group that plays medieaval music with a new-age slant. In the episode Burn the Fire he surpasses himself as the reason for living the priesthood is made clearer. Oh don't get me wrong Lewis is also great in this. Now he gets to shine, as he is out from under the shadow of Morse. He has matured and I found it interesting when he is found to be listening to classical music as he drives to a job in his car alone. His children are all grown up and away from home now and his wife, sadly was the victim of a hit and run, and this gives the writers the option of other female relationships, and his own inner sadness, whilst making him an even better detective than before. The series is captivating and one cannot wait for the next episode. I do hope they give this one a long run as I cannot wait to see how these two detectives handle the next case.

Psycho Cop Returns (1993)

Never trust a cop!

[5/10 · 25 January 2008]

I have just received this video in a 'job lot' so I was not expecting anything. Well as others have said It is so bad that it's good. Funny, entertaining, watchable and for the guys t & a with loads of shots of the dancers backside as they run from this fiend Psycho Cop. Like others I have not seen the first and now I do plan to. The cop gets some great lines and the geeky guy was great. Almost lost points when he is shot. Gory death followed by macabre one liners that could make Bond envious. And of course the guy with all the reasons why it cant be so. Well didn't he feel a fool. Some bits are like a soft-porn but with a better writer. The deaths are inventive and the photo-copier is used to its fullest extent. Watch this with an open mind and you will find yourself smiling and laughing at this B-Grade Horror Film

Fido (2006)

I call him Daddy!

[9/10 · 22 January 2008]

I first caught this trailer a while ago and have been trying to find a copy for ages. I finally did and watched it tonight. What a great, funny and food for thought film this is. Everyone likens this to Shaun but I thought it was more like a happy Pleasantville. Great script spoken by some fine actors. Not in the least that of Billy Connolly (who by the way is a Scot and not Scotch that is a drink) He has had many roles and has always shone in them but this one he was great as Fido. What a man! What a Zombie. A zombie who died of a heart attack but still fancied a cigarette. The town is 50's kitsch with mums at home and the dads unable to relate to their wives, note the twin beds, who the men think haven't got a thought in their head. So the family gets a Zombie, the mum is cool, the kid picked on and the dad repressed, rather, playing golf than with his kid. One happy nucleur family with the addition of a Zombie that Timmy decides to call Fido. We have a security chief who is a pain in the ... and drunk on power. Who mistreats the zombies and welds his power freely even down to obtaining his new home. Well Fido saves the day several times. Saving Timmy from the bullies and from the biggest bully of all. We have a neighbour who has a zombie girlfriend who was fired from the corporation for just that. We have the head honchos daughter who is a fine shot, we have Zombies doing menial jobs, with a soundtrack from the fifties and the most intense colour cinematography. We have untamed zombies, minus the collar that they are made to wear to keep them docile. And sometimes these collars just don't work. So if you like Zombies and you want to laugh What this. Its a lot of Fido fun

Kaw (2006)

This ain't no Birds

[3/10 · 20 January 2008]

Another coulda been good movie that almost got me cheering for the birds. People attacked by Ravens with mad cow disease, does a disservice to the Mennonites. Does a disservice to the Ravens and really puts Hitchcock on a way higher pedestal than he was already on. As others have said where did all the townsfolk go. Surely someone could help. A silly synopsis that made me see red. People killed by birds yet the blood so artistically arranged on their heads. This did not go overboard on the effects or even the blood quota. Such a shame that it was made at all. Why kill the dog, why kill Rachel? And why wasn't her husband worried about that death. Wooden acting to the nth degree. It is not a homage even using Mr Taylor. Birds was a lot more intense and a lot scarier and they probably didn't have the money or the effects available today. Bird throwing rocks Gimme a break! And Doris- why did she not die when the coach who was closer to the bus did, and could have gotten on the bus or at least under it. When I saw the thing in the well it looked like an alien human being (thought it might have been inbreed) rather than a cow. The story has no development, no guts and silly choices of kills and victims. It gets 3 because I have seen worse but I want my money back so I can buy a copy of the Birds.

Severance (2006)

Are you sure we are in the right place?

[9/10 · 3 January 2008]

I came into this with an open mind as I knew nothing about the film when I picked it up. Then saw it was British and thought OK. Well what a bus ride we ventured on. Great scenery, hand picked for a nice head-loosing holiday. An enjoyable script, and the casts only common denominator was that they worked for the same company, an arms company. So a group of workers go to a retreat to hone their company skills. A cute girl (with hidden talents) a smart girl (with a smart landmine) a guy with everything (just in case) a boss who is ineffectual (and is aware of it) and the office cool guy (who was quite nice) and Danny who got the funniest lines (watch out for those mushrooms) and who stood out in this crowd. When one of the characters looses his head and watches for a few moments after the be-heading, and then has that look. One just had to laugh. In fact it is the humour that stops this from merely being another slasher a la Hostel. And there are plenty of funny bits. Their journey is scary but interesting, the acting is great to good and the action is surprising and funny. What a great mix. Definitely buy this to watch it again and again Oh and for those interested watch out for the escorts trying to get out of the hole and what happens next. Happy holiday!

Attack of the Sabertooth (2005 TV Movie)

Pussys galore

[8/10 · 2 January 2008]

I avoided getting this film because the movie seemed cheesy. But! I needed a filler and so I thought Why Not! Well I enjoyed it and feel that a lot of people underrated it. The story is that yet another meglomaniac created a long extinct beast and made a park out of this animal. Of course a group of pledges got together on this same island to pledge their sororities. So that a few totally different human beings got together to survive said beast. The Fijians are laugh out loud funny in the remarks that they made. So dry and witty. The love interests are there but don't overrun the script. The Sabre tooth tigers are not brilliant but who cares. This is a fun movie and the deaths are well done and the victims have personalities (not all nice). Loved the experience that Mr Ball has at the end and Mr Carradine (a greedy annoying character in this) is suitably detached. So next time you are in the video store and you don't know what to watch. Get this. It has a tongue in cheek attitude that carries it along quite nicely. And just enough dismemberment to thrill a jaded palette.

Hell of the Living Dead (1980)

Don't move the zombies will get you-Duh!

[7/10 · 23 December 2007]

This movie has a terrible script-so terrible in fact that it is screamingly funny in places. Once you get over the What the??? And go with it you Will enjoy this ride into black faced Zombie town. This movie has it all. Standing around when things are looking dangerous, playing games with the Zombies, bad but so bad that its good script with plenty of quotable lines that can keep you and your friends amused for a long time. So the scientists are at it again. Making a contagion that seems to make people die and eat each other. Blonde-wigged (?)Scientists mulling over papers and chatting whilst in the background a contamination scare is being broadcast Tra la la la la! two go to investigate to discover a dead rat in a pristine environment-by the way the rat is coloured and therefore tame or a lab rat-but this rat is a dead rat but is it. The rat burrows into the man wearing a safety suit, obviously not safe from rats, and starts to devour him. Meanwhile his workmate looks on, never attempting to help in the slightest. But that in itself becomes the theme of the movie as more and more incidents of this nature occur. Then scene changes to group in jeep and child been bitten. I wonder what will happen to this child? Hum! Cue another scene when nice looking woman and groovy man find some zombies and stand around discussing what had happened to them. Maybe they are just not feeling well. In the meantime a small (and I do mean small) band of soldiers are there to tidy up the mess that the scientists have created. Sexist sargents, loony side-kicks and an endless supply of bullets from guns that keep on keeping on. Stop off at house that in places looks like it has been deserted for eons and yet the room with the Granny, Yep! a Granny Zombie who liked to keep her cat close, is plushly decorated. Budget constraints? Well all I can say is watch this with an open mind and invite a few friends over for a drink or two and throw pop-corn at the screen (though you will have to pick it up afterwards) Oh and the screaming woman well what a nice surprise.. Watch it and see for yourselves. I won't mention the Goblin music (which I for one love) because I quite liked it being there. Happy viewing

Deadly Blessing (1981)

Repression creates its own monsters

[8/10 · 17 December 2007]

I have finally rewatched this film after originally watching it in the 80's and it definitely stood the test of time. Although I had forgotten a lot of what happened (except the ending) I watched this with baited breath and chills running up my spine. A movie where you wish they would go away and be safe, instead of trying to handle an oppressive world of people not wanting the 21st century encroaching on their lives. A world of repressed sexuality that hangs in the air and manifests as Incubus. Did these people by their very essence. By clinging to this Incubus and giving it a name, manifest it in the characters within the film? I think so. A young man, once a Hitite brings home his new bride and after their first anniversary informs the local mid-wife to be on hand for the birth. This woman though not a Hitite does not leave her farm and works it with her daughter Faith. Faith is a strange young woman who paints the scenery she sees and when she sits outside painting William (who is not the brightest light on the Christmas tree) chases her off and ruins her paints and canvas Shouting Incubus as he chases her. Martha and her husband celebrate their anniversary with a little love-making when afterwards he becomes aware of something and goes to the barn to check it out. His tractor is on and the lights don't work. Then he is killed by who? The suspense is such that one easily blames one person, later another until the real murderer is revealed. After he dies 2 friends come in support of their friend and all sorts of creepy things happen. Lana locked in the barn with her fear of spiders only to confront a hanging William. Isiah spitting fire and brimstone at every turn. Oozes with hate and wrath with a biased way of interpreting his bible. And meeting out punishment to those who dare to disobey him (rather than the God he deems to love) Spiders in mouths, a snake in the bath and suspense galore. This movie makes you suspect the usual subjects and then surprises you with the real culprit. And although it would have been nice to have a happier (successful ending) the ending they did have made me wonder who it was created this 'Monster" and could keep film buffs happy chatting over a bottle of wine or a few coffees for quite a long time.

Lurking Fear (1994)

Be careful who you bury

[6/10 · 17 December 2007]

I watched this and enjoyed it. I am a Lovecraft fan and found that this was a reasonable rendition of Lovecraft's work. I thought the monsters where good and clearly defined, and not, as in a lot of cheap flicks, hidden from view to save on the cost of making an effort. When the family, re-emerged I was surprised and would have liked that bit to be a little longer. This piece (due to budget-I guess) was an ensemble piece and could even work on the stage if anyone wished to do a live version. Novelty theatre, now that would be good. I enjoyed the heroine, although the script suffered in this area for predictability. (Get out the how to book, on "How to" have a woman against man battle of wits and "Easy one liners for anyone" ) Even a book on "Your turn to have the weapon." But all in all a reasonable time was had by me. I would also like to further mention the wonderful Coombs' whose part could have been an inch or two bigger. A man who always manages to make me smile at his antics and cool one liners. So don't expect an Oscar or two but enjoy the ride and revel in the undead or dead or whoever they are.

Hellraiser (1987)

This must be love

[10/10 · 10 December 2007]

Clive Barker is an amazing writer. Who pens great horror books. Unlike another Horror writer that I wont name Clives ability to bring his work to life on the screen is much to his credit. I first saw this when it came out and it has stayed with me ever since. I was again lucky enough to buy a copy and watched it last night. This movie is still as scary and as mind-blowing as it was when it first came out. The story revolves around Frank, a hedonistic man who women are attracted to in droves. He works on the maxim "Treat em mean...keep 'em keen" Flashback of him arriving wet and sexy to his brothers wedding, he seduces the bride whilst she prepares, wedding dress draped on the bed. She is now obsessed yet continues with the service and marries the safe and boring brother. Well the choices we make. Frank in the meantime has purchased a puzzle box which possess much more than he anticipates as he plays with it in an attempt to get it open and to experience all that this box has inside. Well he gets what he wants and much much more, this includes getting torn to pieces, with hooks and chains argh! In the meantime Julia and Larry return to England and move into the house where the puzzle box was opened. Blood from Larrys hand spurts whilst Julia is having fantasies about Frank. Larry finds Julia in the loft and blood falls on the floor. The blood then raises the reconstituted Frank, who needs more blood to become fully himself again. Julia discovers him sans flesh and still manages to want him. She gets him more blood by seducing men and bringing them into her house and bashing them with a hammer. Meantime Larrys daughter sees Julia enter the house with a strange man. At this moment I have always wondered why, when they look around to see if anyone is watching, they don't notice the person that is watching. Kirsty becomes the heroine by giving up Frank to the Cenobites, after a period of time in which she is taken collapsed in to hospital where she opens the box and confronts the Cenobites herself. Later she returns to save her father but is she too late? Well watch it! Do you want me to tell you everything? If you like Red then this is the movie for you, because this picture has red on you in buckets.

Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman (2000 Video)

Aww look at the Snowballs

[6/10 · 10 December 2007]

I will admit that I enjoyed this. It is silly. And maybe even an insult to horror fans but I found it funny and a fun way to spend 90 mins (approx) I loved the bad out of sync Japanese dialog and the way the snowman was reconstructed. (Isn't science wonderful!). The guys in the boat who had the feel of being in the raft for 10 minutes before resorting to starvation (bad acting?) And what a suitable place for a snowman, a tropical island. Christopher did not, to my way of thinking, portray a proper amount of comedic pathos, but what the hell. Its only a B grade horror flick. With the usual scantily clad girls. One of the funniest bits for me was the party which seemed to be held in a small room as over-crowding appeared to be a problem, even though the guest list did not seem to be that large. And here comes the spoiler bit. The snowballs how cute where they until they opened their little mouths. The one in the blender was a classic as it enjoyed its supposed ride of death. Then comes the killer ingredients. Anti-freeze? No! Alcohol? No! A cocktail made out of Bananas. Tee! Hee! Hee! Go in expecting nothing. Put it on before the main feature. Relax and have a cocktail

Nightbreed (1990)

Children of the Night

[10/10 · 10 December 2007]

I absolutely love this movie. I just managed to get a copy and saved it to watch on my birthday. This movie brings up several questions. One is. Who are the monsters of this world? To be different is just that. Different. The real monsters hide behind masks of ordinariness. They are those that everyone considers "a nice quiet bloke" who "didn't bother anybody". Or they are worse they are the characters such as played by Croneberg. Men who draw pleasure and power from carving up people and creating their own Books of Blood. I love the shapeshifters, people with gifts and those that may be abhorent for people to look upon. This movie touches on and explores what IS normal. Who are 'other' and what fear does to some. Even though I gave this movie 10 I am still sick of women who either scream or are so set in their ways that they cant see what is happening and being a vehicle for the things that destroyed Median. My other complaint was why didn't they ever make a second film. I for one would have loved to see a continuation of this most intriguing story that keep me captivated from beginning to end

Horror Hospital (1973)

Don't mention the war.

[8/10 · 29 November 2007]

Thanks to the advent of DVD creators who see a buck in putting classics such as Horror Hospital on disc we are fortunate not to loose such a gem. The movie has everything. Mad doctor (in a wheelchair) person of small stature as assistant. Hard-faced matron who is in love with the good doctor, Sex, groovy chicks and guys, a rock band and a beautiful Gothic Mansion, that any true horror buff would love to reside in. So young guy Jason ripped off by his band and to add insult to injury gets his nose broken in the process, is told by his friends that a holiday would be just the shot. Pan to Hairy Holidays (I don't remember ads in papers being that amateurish) so off he trots. Meets Price who has a thing for young boys (but not thing enough to steer young Jason away from his next adventure) and off he goes to the Manor sans luggage. On the train he meets a charming young girl eating her meat paste sandwiches and after a decent amount of chat-up. Off they trot to the Manor. The stationmaster informs the Manor and they are picked up by 2 useful people in black leather gear and helmets (in the days before helmets where compulsory, and people rarely wore them) Now these 2 helmet wearing leather clad 'dudes' come in very useful and tend to have the ability to be in several places at once (check the credits out) So the Mad scientist and assistant have just decapitated 2 escapees with a very sharp blade that appears out the side of the car.(How it manages to be at the correct height to do this on every individual I don't quite understand...but hey!) Now Jason and his girl have become lovers as in such a huge mansion there is only one room available and they will have to share. Shining moments for me are the little persons eye acting, and the first visit to the dining room where white-faced zombiesque young people with visible scars sit sans conversation, sans motion, sans brain function and the two new residents find it only a little odd. Oh and back to the biker 'dudes' they fight, they get killed they appear out of everywhere and keep on keeping on (again see credits) The movie has some laugh out loud moments and I truly enjoyed it as you can watch it again and again. So for those interested see a naked girl and a shirtless guy. See a film regarding Dr's experiments where the light just does not hide the guys genitals. See a film with lots of horror, laughter and substance. A fun way to spend an evening. Pass the wine friend.

Death Ship (1980)

Lets see! Should we board this spooky ship?

[7/10 · 28 November 2007]

Like many others on this board I saw this when it first came out and horror on film became my passion. So I was just now lucky enough to obtain a VHS copy in reasonable condition and looked forward to the viewing. Although in my memory a couple of the scenes where longer. So! okay a cruise ship gets ploughed into by this ship and hundreds of people drown. A bit picky I know but how did the select few to survive end up together considering most of them where no-where near the others when this disaster struck. Told you I was being picky. In another scene Richard/Trevor told them all they would be safe if they stuck together and immediately afterwards they all hived off. Observation. How on earth does one end up with lovely clean jumpers if they had been worn by those now deceased sailors in the war? But, aside from that I thought that this was a good movie. Filled with scary expectations and such an awful premise. A torture boat that ran on the blood of those that had been murdered. Check out the bunks with all those who can be heard screaming, gold fillings and the amount of people who had to die in order to achieve this. Check out the Nazi film to instil murder in the hearts of those running the boat. The floating death-camp. This movie is one for the enthusiasts and although Ghost-Ship does bear a close resemblance to this (or is that because of the boats?) I think that this is far better as it relies on a great special effects team (in not the CGI genre). And what little boy goes searching for a toilet when anywhere (on an abandoned rusty old haunted ship) would do?

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2007)

Get thee behind me Voldemort

[9/10 · 23 November 2007]

Of course it isn't the same as the book. If you want that then stay in your room and read the book. Your imaginings are not the same as Freds or Georges or the girl next door. They are yours. So that when a directors view is presented, then, go with the flow. I enjoyed this movie as pure escapism with great characters and wonderful creatures, and yes even the Directors view of how the film should be, given the fact that the film cant be 20 hours long and he cant put in every fullstop and comma. I also viewed the deleted scenes and can only say that it would have been nice if Emmas extra bits had been left in as she was so funny (and I am a great admirer of hers and her illustrious parentage)But apart from that I thoroughly enjoyed it. I found the part of the story where all the pictures where removed and the halls bleak, so reminiscent of Dickens, to be quite poignant. I would (as many other reviewers have) like to give a Gold Star to Luna who was played so ethereally Evanna. To my mind she played the role perfectly. As far as Mr Gambon well each must make the role his own and I feel that he did, again as someone said earlier we all like at least one of the Bonds. Oh and if Daniel is reading this (as if!) then I wish he would wear his glasses when he appears as himself in public (buy different ones if you feel that you are still in character) as he always has the look of someone who cant see too clearly without them (sort of faraway and distracted{more than ever like Harry than he realises})