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mjasoncarswell
Reviews
Venom (2018)
Shameful Waste Of Resources
Tom Hardy should avoid comedy at all costs.
Tom Hardy should avoid being casual.
There is nothing more UNfunny and awkward than Tom Hardy in this "movie".
Everything about this movie is awkward. The first act intro and set up, the endless cliches, the contrived dialogue, the special effects circa 1998... it just never stops, and it seems like it never stops.
I had very low expectations and WAS so disappointed.
I feel embarrassed for everyone who worked on this movie.
This is not venom in my voice, this move is poison for your mind.
This move pushes the overpopulation myth and climate change while consuming how much resources to make it? Hypocrites and bad "filmmakers".
Endless American wars, corrupt American politicians, bankrupt American healthcare, AND lousy American movies and propaganda. When is America gonna be great again?
Bad movie, bad. So bad.
P.S. Also, he's not very smart for an investigative independent journalist.
P.P.S. "A Simple Favour" is a clever funny thriller I can recommend.
Dark (2017)
GERMAN + SUBTITLES Are Superior To The English Dub.
This great German production should be watched in German with the SUBTITLES ON. The distracting English vocal acting is TERRIBLE for that alternate dub. They would have done better with a computer simulation. I'm tempted to say the English dub was designed to fail. DO NOT ENDURE the ENGLISH VERSION unless you absolutely must.
Full disclosure, I did not try to endure the English until I "got used to it" because I honestly doubt I ever would. Also, I'm only at episode 5 of 10 and felt compelled to give this a 10 star and a warning as every episode by default starts in English until I return it to German with subtitles.
Next Gen (2018)
This movie was WRITTEN BY A ROBOT!!!
Cons:
The first half of this movie's writing was painfully contrived with implausible motivations attempting character development. The injection of "cool" slang and "hip" phrases was unbearable. While the entire movie was as predictably formulaic as "humanly" possible the second half actually improved.
Pros:
Everything else. The writing aside (and that's a huge caveat) this animated feature was almost flawless on par with the best. Top ratings for cohesive character designs, world design, modelling, layout compositions, proper effects, epic score, textures and lighting, seamless compositing and editing, animation, timing, pacing, etc.
Minor:
As a technically picky animator I saw some poor lip syncing.
It's a great waste and shame there wasn't better writing for these Pixar-comparable visuals. Seriously, hire someone from YouTube who reviews movies or teaches screenwriting. Hire a human.
Sidney Hall (2017)
Pretentious Waste Of Time
Empty hero worship of a character that achieves nothing on screen but is allegedly a supreme poet and deep author who shows no indication of any exceptional linguistics, vocabulary, interesting ideas, goals, or superlative life interests beyond generic teen dreams and "travel". Boring. A stereotypical flash in the pan tortured artist gone mad story.
The casting is very good but their performances of two dimensional archetypes are not particularly notable, certainly not enough to support nor carry the film.
The cinematography is generally unimaginative with a few exceptions that still fall flat, especially within the greater context. Some of the music is good and some not. The non-linear narrative tries to make a bad movie better but the editing can't save it.
Attempting to cultivate precious moments and sentimental mystique they try too hard with tired Hollywood stereotypes that wish they were half as creative or clever as their main character is supposed to be. It's as if square old advertising executives tried to write a quirky script to sell you on the fun of artsy teens suffering existential angst, forgetting to add anything quirky, artsy, or authentic.
I went in knowing nothing about it. I don't usually do reviews but felt compelled before even finishing. I regret watching this movie and was tricked by its undeservedly high rating and the "Drama" and "Mystery" labels. Drama requires conflict, especially between characters. The main character is conflicted with everything internal and external for undefined reasons generating no sympathy nor does it drive the choppy story. Mystery is missing in the obvious story telling
The only real mystery is how this got funded and produced. Like a high quality student film that desperately tries to be professional this movie is not worth watching as nothing stands out, even for a precious poetic moment.
The chicken said, "I crossed the street." I said, "Big deal."