goalsmistakesfootball Reviews

Roald Dahl's Esio Trot (2015 TV Movie)

A Charming Re-Imagining of the Roald Dahl Tale.

[7/10 · 2 October 2016]

Esio Trot is a wonderful book, and makes me want to shout out in glee every time I read it, Roald Dahl's Esio Trot the TV Movie is a homage to the book. Starring Dustin Hoffman and Judi Dench as Mr Hoppy and Mrs Silver, Esio Trot is a charming film and makes your heart lighten with joy as one tortoise brings Mr Hoppy and Mrs Silver closer together. James Corden plays a brilliant role in narrating the hectic story, and does it very well. Using his daughter (In the film) to narrate alongside him. This works very well and is a key aspect of the film. This film is suitable for a human being- any person. It is guaranteed to make you happy.

Mrs. Doubtfire (1993)

Robin Williams- what are you doing!

[2/10 · 2 October 2016]

Robin Williams plays Mrs Doubtfire in this absolute mess of a film, the genius of Robin Williams is completely lost in this film which makes me want to eat myself. Can't we go back to Aladdin and the wonderful times of the late Robin Williams, rather than in 2016 revisiting the dump that is Mrs Doubtfire. Overall the Film is a shambles, in writing and acting with boring moments of dialogue and predictable plot twists. Robin Williams makes unfunny jokes and stupid remarks. The plot is that Robin Williams is part of an unhappy family and to bring his family back together he must get a job. Robin Williams then comes up with an elaborate plan to be a nanny to his children so he could have them in his life without having a job. It is a stupid film and is almost torture to watch. DO NOT SHOW THIS TO YOUR CHILDREN- WHATEVER AGE THEY ARE!!!

10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

10 Things to make a good teen movie.

[9/10 · 1 October 2016]

10 Things I Hate About You is the perfect teen movie- hands down. It has a lot of competition but is perfect. It has the love story, the rebel story, the stupid story, the crazy teacher story and Alison Janney being very strange. I was eleven when I first watched this film and I loved it and I still do it will always be a classic in my mind despite the measly 7.2 rating on IMDb. Don't be put off by the rating for that is not an accurate representation of the film. An Accurate representation of the film would be in the nine star region. A wonderful high school love story starring the late great Heath Ledger, Oscar Winner, and Joseph Gordon Levitt, star of Inception, one of the greatest films of all time, the talent in this film is very fresh and young at the time and the stars of the film grew up to be world renowned for their acting. The movie based on a Shakespeare play fits under the feel good genre, so if you want to be happy watch 10 Things I Hate about you: It is guaranteed to brighten your mood. It is also perfect for a teen in a high school situation. It is a movie for everybody! And so it should be because everybody deserves 10 Thing I Hate About You!

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children (2016)

A Tim Burton Movie.

[9/10 · 1 October 2016]

This Movie is a fantastical piece of art and a classic Tim Burton movie comparing to Batman, Beetle juice and The Nightmare before Christmas, yet is not a film for the faint heart as it is a very dark film, Samuel L. Jackson's acting makes the film scary and even more dark- the acting all round is excellent with Asa Butterfield making another show stopping performance and the wonderful Chris O'Dowd's acting which shocked me as surprisingly fantastic- a very strange thing for a comedy writer. The peculiars are fascinating and very scary, the twins and the scariest for you do not know their powers until the very end of the film. The relationship between Asa Butterfield's character and the girl that is thinner than air is very strong and is a key part of the movie, and works very well. The movie is one of my favorites in a year full of good movies and is certainly the most enjoyable I have seen this year, it is worth going to your local cinema to see this film. Tim Burton once again excels in movie making.

M (1931)

A Terrifying Masterpiece.

[10/10 · 30 July 2016]

I have no words to describe Fritz Lang's masterpiece M. It is brimmed with suspense that will make you shiver throughout. Peter Lorre's performance in all is mind-boggling, in one particular scene he describes how he cannot help killing children and it is a masterful moment, the actor who went on to feature in Casablanca and the Maltese Falcon makes M, seventy-fourth on the IMDb Top 250. It has immediately jumped into my top ten favourite films of all time, joining Cinema Paridiso in foreign films, which are films I don't usually like, but yet the most firm hater of foreign films must be drawn to a film like M. Fritz Lang is a film genius and I will continue to love this film, I have also been asked to watch another Fritz Lang film, Metropolis, so here I come!

Horrible Histories (2009–2024)

The PERFECT Children's TV Show.

[9/10 · 7 May 2016]

I have recently revisited the brilliant TV show that is Horrible Histories and still found it as amusing as before, it is a brilliant comedy show with originality. To say that the TV Show has some disgusting bits in it is an understatement, it is a fun-packed half an hour, each episode, of blood, gore, vomit, farts, burps and laughs. Whether it's HH TV Sports, HH TV News or the Scary Stories, it will bring a laugh to the darkest of people. If your child of whatever age has not seen this brilliant TV Show then they are missing out on lots of things, if your child thinks that Cartoon Network's Uncle Grandpa is the prime of all children's television or Teen Titans Go is the pick of the bunch then show them this TV Show from start to finish and they will see what they are missing out on. Truly Enjoyable for any ages, this will show people that Michael Macintyre is not funny.

San Andreas (2015)

So Bad it's good.

[5/10 · 7 May 2016]

San Andreas is a masterpiece for the fact that it is so bad. The film has all the making of a bad movie, Dwayne Johnson features in this movie where the biggest earthquake of all time effects San Andreas. His daughter is stuck in all of this. She meets a boy called Ben and his strange brother who has not passed puberty and still is attracted to women, including Dwayne Johnson's daughter. Ben and Dwayne Johnson's daughter, Blake, fall in love, what a surprise! When Ben and Blake first kiss, the young boy says "Mum is going to love her" and in another moment when looking at Blake says "I can't wait to be twenty." I dare you to watch this movie and not hope that everyone will die, except for Ioan Gruffudd, this character was the only person I wanted to live because he was a snob to everyone!!! And he's the only one that dies!!! This is a terrible movie and I will now say 'DAMN YOU DWAYNE JOHNSON!'

The Jungle Book (2016)

Matches the Bare Necessities for a good film.

[9/10 · 16 April 2016]

The 1967 Jungle Book is a timeless classic and that can never be changed or scribbled over, but they have challenged that title with this film. In the build up to the film, there have been lots of doubts about this movie, the doubts were wrong. It was fantastic and a serious spin on the family film. The way it is done with the effects works brilliantly with the young Neel Seethi, who delivers a role that captures the brilliance and love in the first Mowgli. The Bare Necessities was used fantastically and Bill Murray is amazing, but is the second song well used? It is in a serious moment in the movie and King Louie has a great presence, but he suddenly breaks out into song, strange! Idris Elba, Scarlett Johanson, Ben Kingsley, Neel Sethi and Bill Murray are just some of the names that make this movie, their acting is phenomenal and they are at their best. The film leaves it off well, preparing for the Second Jungle Book. The Film does the 1967 Film Justice, go to see it in cinemas now!