Lost_In_Translation_ Reviews

The World According to Jeff Goldblum (2019–2022)

Light Fun Trip Through The Mind of Goldblum

[8/10 · 31 January 2022]

As a fan of Jeff Goldblum and his wackyness, I was excited when this show was announced for Disney+. Don't expect a deep dive into the topics. Generally each episode takes 3-4 segments shown, sometimes with not every one fully involving the topic, but maybe a concept of it.

The series is more about Jeff's exploration of his own personality in these little segments. It usually ends with a thesis where Jeff rambles on about what the topic means in the grander scheme of life.

I enjoy them, but I realize they're just some breezy, simple entertainment. Just some insight into Jeff Goldblums mind about some cultural topics. He does have a unique view of the world, so a bulk of the fun of watching the show is just seeing him experience these many places and interact with people from all over the country.

I was excited that it got renewed despite the coronavirus situation that happened after the show's first season, so I do hope we get at least a handful more. It seems like Jeff loves experiencing this all, so here's hoping he will push for more a seasons!

The French Dispatch (2021)

Three Stories Missing Cohesion

[7/10 · 2 December 2021]

I've been a fan of Wes Anderson's ever since I saw Tenenbaums in high school over almost 20 years ago. He created his own unique, almost magical style of filmmaking. Despite being a huge fan, there are a couple I do realize aren't up to his highest quality. So my love for his movies don't blind me from the fact that not every auteur is flawless and even Wes has some plotting or story issues despite perfect visuals.

The French Dispatch consists of 3 main short stories based on articles written for The French Dispatch, a fictionalized take on "The New Yorker" magazine in it's mid-20th century form. Bill Murray is the Editor-In-Chief and a sort of through line for the movie. Though despite his appearance in each story, not enough of him is present to make the whole movie feel like one fully formed collection. Each story has it's writer who ends up becoming part of the story in some way or another and acts as the narrator to us.

In the start Owen Wilson is a writer giving a 5 min tour of the fictional French city it is based in. It then cuts to the first story which is told through Tilda Swinton as she gives a sort of presentation about her subject to an auditorium full of people. The story she tells is of a prisoner who becomes one of the most important artists of his time and his muse, one of the guards in the prison. Entertaining as their story was, the cutting between the auditorium presentation by Swinton's character and the story itself were jarring. She doesn't appear in the actual story events until the end, so it is unclear who she is during most of the telling.

The second story follows Francis McDormand as she follows the de-facto leaders of a student rebellion against drafting for the war. She is much more involved in her story than Swinton in the previous one and it all stays in her present as it does not cut to her presenting the story elsewhere. While that improves the storytelling, this one just isn't as interesting or entertaining as the first was. It's an odd story about students protesting being drafted for a war, so they barricade themselves in the town square and play a real game of chess against the police. It was the weaker of the three stories as it is the nature of it is a bit convoluted and all over the place.

Third follows Jeffrey Wright as he visits the police HQ to write about their in-house chef who is prolific in his craft. This one, like the first story, cuts to him being interviewed on a TV show, although it works much better than the beginning story. As it wasn't just him giving a presentation, it worked better as well as not occurring as much. His article takes a turn once the chief of police's son is kidnapped and it becomes the main plot. This story was just more fun and easier to follow than the rest. Wright is easily the best character out of the journalists as he is the most eloquent in his speaking and the most fun to see interacting with his wild story.

As mentioned in the beginning, these stories exist under the umbrella of the magazine itself folding after it's EIC passes away. It is an aspect of the movie which should have connected all three of these stories, but it barely comes back in each. Bill Murray is most prominent in the final story, but even then it's just a moment at the end of it. He does appear briefly in the other two, though not enough to really point out why he and his magazine were special. Rather than having the stories cut back and forth to the writers somehow presenting the story, it would have added more if it was them discussing it with Murray as he helps edit the story. It would have been so much more cohesive if he was more involved and showing how all of his writers' relationships with him were formed. This through line would have given it more of the heart that makes Anderson's movies so special.

From a film making standpoint, it's typical Anderson, but in his case typical is the spectacular. Each vignette sort of has its own style and tone. He transitions between black & white to color for little moments to enhance their emotion. Even switches between 4:3 and 16:9 screen size for certain scenes to enhance the scope of them.

This was an interesting change of format for Anderson and for the most part it works. Its lack of cohesion leaves it a bit disconnected and could have benefited from more of Murray's character. It's a lesser of his movies, but when most of his movies are in my top favorites, it only ends towards the bottom because of how great all of his work has been.

Crazy, Stupid, Love. (2011)

Top Quality Rom Com

[8/10 · 10 July 2020]

Generally the Rom Com genre is full of crap. Cheesy, shallow, predictable they usually end up being.

Crazy, Stupid, Love is a whole different evolution of the genre.

Typically I wouldn't have even been that into seeing it in the first place. At a glance it just looked like the usual romantic crap. Though my main reasons for seeing it were Gosling and Carrell. I'd been a fan of the first 4 or so seasons of The Office, but dropped off it at this point. Gosling was hot off one of my favorite movies of all time "Lars and the Real Girl" and I was already hyped for Drive which was to come out 2 months after this. So the two of them were the main reason I saw this on a whim.

Gosling is just so goddamn charming in this. Sure, he's got a player/womanizer aspect, but he's never a creep or forcing women to do anything they don't want to. He's just has figured out the formula that will get most women to bed with him. His character uses his talents to pass along his wooing skills to recently separated Carrell. They are the focus of the movie, but each side character get their own fully fleshed out story.

From his wife's struggle of missing the man she separated from while possibly moving to another lover, to their babysitter who holds a secret crush on Carrell, to their son who has a crush on the babysitter. They encompass many versions of love through each character. Separation of love, young naive love, stuck in a relationship where you're partner isn't all in, someone who has never been in love finding it. It really does a fantastic job covering all sorts of relationships and what love is to each person.

The twist at the end is completely unexpected as there are no hints to it at all and you wouldn't expect there to be a twist at all. It leads to the culmination of a really funny scene at the end, though it's really only effective the first time you see it.

It's just a well put together story of all types of love that life has. Gosling's performance is a strong suit of the movie and really helps improve an already great cast. He really shows that he's got the comedy chops as well as the serious stuff like Blade Runner 2049 and Lars & The Real Girl. It's also a really good looking movie. The bar the two guys frequent has a somber atmosphere.

Crazy, Stupid, Love is a solid romantic movie that anyone from any walk of live can enjoy.

Black Mirror: San Junipero (2016) Season 3, Episode 4

The best Black Mirror has to offer

[10/10 · 27 June 2020]

Black Mirror has been known for it's dark dystopia futures. Every episode has been interesting, but usually has a dark ending to it. It's great to finally have an episode that is happy and not just a gloomy dark twist on the end. This episode feeds off of nostalgia and the future where we can finally go and live in the best times of our lives for eternity. If you think about it too long, it is still a pretty dark topic, living forever in our nostalgia. At least with this episode you are stuck in a forever you want to live in. I was born in '88 and the 90's/ early 2000's are the times I grew up in, but I'd choose to live in the 80's San Junipero as it's the decade I most connected with. As a teen in the 2000's I was into all kinds of 80's movie and music and I prefer it way over anything 90's and 00's.

It's a simple love story set to the backdrop of nostalgia, nothing more or less. The "twist" is pretty obvious, but it's a simple story set to some beautiful visuals and music spanning the decades.

Star Wars: Battlefront II (2017 Video Game)

Great multiplayer, EMBARASSING campaign

[8/10 · 9 May 2020]

We all know about the origins of this game. All the microtransaction drama created by EA. All of that has been fixed, mostly. The multiplayer is fun a hell and does a great job of making you feel like you're in a Star Wars battle. All of the trooper models look fantastic and play great.

Now a major complaint from BF1 was there was no story mode. BF2 attempts to fix that by adding a campaign taking place after the fall of the Empire as the last remnants of it struggle to keep the power after the fall of the Emperor. It's a solid setting to a SW game, but unfortunately the MP game play doesn't work in singleplayer.

The MP gameplay feel doesn't fit well with story missions. You just aimlessly run around and shoot waves of enemies in most missions. There's no cover mechanic to make it playable and enjoyable. The MP game play is good within the confines of a MP match. It's gameplay made to be fair to both people battling against each other as you're gonna die fast and respawn and attempt to capture locations. The game play DOES NOT fit single player missions. There's also NO combat roll which would help like it does in the MP.

Besides the gameplay not matching, the missions of the game just aren't done well. You mostly follow Iden Versio, a special ops leader in the Empire. She is sent to save important Empire targets to ensure the fall doesn't happen. Soon into the campaign she realizes she was on the wrong side when the Empire is willing to sacrifice it's citizens for it's own survival. You follow her turn to the rebellion as she attempts to help to make up for her past service to the bad side.

Interspersed between Iden's missions are really bad filler missions where in each you play as Luke, Leia, Han, and Lando. The versions of those characters you play as are the hero classes in the multiplayer. Their missions are really tedious and just waves of enemies for like 15 mins. Lukes mission? He teams up with a stranded member of Iden's troop to fight bugs for 10 mins. Literally you have to protect the Empire guy while he fixes something from waves of bugs. There's no real challenge as you just wave your lightsaber around until they're all dead.

There's also really bad attempts at humor with Han Solo's mission thanks to a really bad side character. The writers just comes off as lazy when they start to name the mission objective's with sarcastic lines from the bad dialogue. It just seems like even they knew making this campaign was a waste of time.

Flying missions are also just tedious. Shoot a few star fighters, shoot something else. The flying does not feel good either. It somewhat works for MP as you're gonna die over and over, but here it just doesn't feel good. You'll just be spinning around an around trying to shoot enemies. Something like Crimson Skies or the original Tie Fighter have great air combat, this is just fly in circles as you try to shoot enemies.

The ONLY bright spot of the campaign is Shriv a really fun character that I'd like to appear elsewhere in SW media.

The devs could have easily spent all the time making the campaign and just added more maps to the multiplayer. It's so inconsequential and half baked. Not every game has to have a single player component. When it's forced like this you get a poorly structured re-use of the MP assets. Some new stuff is made for it, but the added hero story missions are just re-used MP maps. You can just tell they didn't have enough to work with in the Iden story, so they artificially padded it out with these tedious hero missions.

The multiplayer is the reason to get this game, for $15 it's a really fun time with it. The campaign is just a waste of time and not fun at all, so skip it.

Ratchet & Clank (2016 Video Game)

Fun Distraction Between Games

[7/10 · 3 May 2020]

I randomly played Ratchet and Clank games throughout the PS2 era. My brother was more into them during the PS2 era than I was, but I popped them in on occasion. It wasn't until I heard the high praise for A Crack In Time that I came back to the series. I remember enjoying the hell out of that game. Clank's puzzle section were really cool and well done.

After Crack, I didn't play any more R&C until this one. It was free with PS+, so I downloaded it during the quarantine as a time killer after I finished a few games prior.

It's nothing deep story-wise or gameplay wise. It's just a videogame-ass-videogame. It's fun and the platforming feels good.

My major gripe is that none of the weapons in this one feel especially good or powerful. Many times I felt like I should be demolishing waves of enemies, but many felt like they took 3 shots too many. Also you can't upgrade weapons without leveling them too. A lot of them felt like the max ammo counter was really low for the first levels of it so I was constantly running out of ammo.

There were really only 3 or 4 of the 12 weapons I really liked. Once I ran out of ammo for those I used the one I least liked and just didn't have fun with them. I understand it's a remake of the original, so maybe the guns brought from it weren't the best since it was the first, but I just felt like a majority of them felt really weak.

Clank's puzzle sections are extremely easy and weak too. There's like 3 and all you do is swap between 3 kinds of little droids you use to traverse an area. It's more tedious than anything. Really weak compared to A Crack In Time's ones that incorporated time travel and whatnot. They also each have a running towards camera moments way too many times that aren't fun.

Besides that this is a pretty easy and fun game to play. It looks great, though some moments when there are a ton of enemies and bolts flying everywhere that the frame-rate becomes abysmal. Also the underwater level gets real framey when you're underwater.

It's simply just an easy fun game to breeze through. Despite my dislike of most of the weapons, I still found enough fun in it. It's easy to recommend if you have PS+ and haven't touched it yet. It's a sort of pallet cleanser between games that you don't have to invest a lot of time into.

The Office: The Banker (2010) Season 6, Episode 14

Has moments, but this show should not have a clip episode

[2/10 · 3 May 2020]

I've never liked clip episodes, they're just filler and save money for the production companies. They work for some sitcoms, like Friends. But The Office was not a style of show that needed one. This was just a really dumb clip episode.

Star Wars: Rebels (2014–2018)

A handful of essential arcs, rest is mostly solid Star Wars.

[8/10 · 26 April 2020]

After The Mandalorian reignited my love for the universe, a week later The Rise of Skywalker took it all back. Looking for some good Star Wars I watched The Clone Wars and loved it. Sure, it had it's series of stinker episodes, but it's highs were some of the best Star Wars stories told. The prequels are still AWFUL movies, but The Clone Wars actually made me enjoy the pre-Empire era of Star Wars and see fantastic stories can be told in it. It made me care about Anakin, and Ashoka became my favorite character in the universe. After finishing The Clone Wars, it only seemed apt to continue the story with Rebels.

Rebels is an easy recommendation for any Star Wars fans, but overall I don't think it quite reaches the same quality as The Clone Wars. Honestly the best parts of it were the stories that related to the Clone Wars series, like Ahsoka, Maul, and Commander Rex.

A big part of the reason I never felt as strong a connection like I did to The Clone Wars was because of the main cast of characters. Ezra is essentially the lead character of the series. A continual focus is his journey to becoming a Jedi and finding out who he is supposed to be. As a character I just really never got into him. A big part of his appeal is probably more relatable to younger viewers who dream of becoming a Jedi. He grows, but he is just a cocky teenager the whole series which usually was just annoying.

The rest of the Ghost crew are fun and enjoyable to watch. Sabine and Hera are probably the strongest out of them, but I just never felt as strong about them like I did to the cast of The Clone Wars.

There's just only a handful arcs that I consider essential Star Wars stories here. For sure the Ahsoka/Vader reunion (which includes Maul),the leftover clones, and the Mandalorian arc. The rest of the series is full of fun to watch episodes, with none of them really being essential. Thrawn's inculsion elevates the last two seasons and he is a fantastic villain as Vader is really only in a few episodes. The first two seasons for sure lacking a strong foil as Callus is a weak villain and the Inquisitors are throwaway evil guys with lightsabers.

The only real bad aspect to the series is some artistic choices with the character designs. The art style for sure is just passable, and really lacking compared to the Clone Wars. For some odd reason most human character's skin texture are all covered in freckles. Clone Wars' painterly textures looked great and fit well. Rebel's just doesn't work a lot and the freckled texture just look bad. The art style of some characters just don't look good.

It's a series that's enjoyable to watch. The only real memorable arcs are ones that incorporated Clone Wars story aspects. There are a handful of episodes that are just downright boring and too simplistic with it's story. If you don't have the time to watch the whole series, but are a Clone Wars fan, for sure watch the Clone's, Ahsoka's and Maul's episodes. The rest of the series is good, though with some weaker than others, but most of isn't essential if you don't have the time.

Sleeping Dogs (2012 Video Game)

Fun fighting gameplay with a fantastic Hong Kong movie plot

[9/10 · 11 March 2020]

When I first tried to play Sleeping Dogs, I did not like it. The combat was frustrating and I never felt like I was doing it right. I took some time away from it and started it up last week and I loved it!

This isn't your typical open world city game. It focuses on fighting combat more than guns. There are a decent amount of missions with guns, but since it is Hong Kong, they're hard to come by in the open world. The main focus of the action is fighting like you're in a Hong Kong action movie.

The combat is essentially a version of Arkham Asylum. There are counters that can be done when an enemy lights up and is about to hit. But it goes deeper as you can almost do fighting game combos to fight enemies. The flow of the combat isn't as graceful as Batman as you're not really able to connect counter after counter together. This one is more strategic as some enemies you can only counter before damaging, or ones you can only grapple or land heavy attacks.

The shooting combat is probably the weakest. It doesn't feel 100% as smooth as it should, but it suffices for the missions you need it. Normally it's just cover shooting and lock on to enemies until they're dead.

The main draw for me is the story it tells. You are an undercover cop with the Sun On Yee triad gang. You have to balance being a cop and a gangster. The side missions for the cop side are alright, they get super repetitive, but they're still fun. The side missions for the gang are more fun and varied.

It's cast of characters are fantastic and Wei is much more enjoyable to be than the generic GTA characters.

My only gripes with it are that the gunplay seems undercooked, but the focus is the hand-to-hand combat which is what makes up for it. The combat takes a moment to get used to, but it's essentially a brawler done right in an open world which really hasn't been done as all the GTA fist fights were terrible.

This is easily one of the top non-GTA open world games. Its fun to play and has a fantastic story to progress through.

Onward (I) (2020)

Mid-tier Pixar is still better than most

[6/10 · 6 March 2020]

For a while there Pixar could do no wrong. They had critical darling one after another. Cars 2 showed us that the studio was not without fault. Then Monsters University and The Good Dinosaur showed us that Pixar surely did have different levels of quality creators within the studio.

Onward isn't bad Pixar, though it isn't top tier either. It's just a fine Pixar movie. There's nothing particularly bad about it, the movie just felt lacking of that spark that makes most other Pixar movies instant classics.

It's an enjoyable hour and a half with many funny moments and some heartfelt ones too.

The creativity of mixing modern technology and advancements in a world of fantasy was neat. The details in making architecture with castle elements or shopping stores with magical themed storefronts is really creative. The Pixar creativity was at it's usual high quality.

It's just the writing and the story that make this an middling movie. The story is really just a coming of age story with a few fun twists. The story with their mother and the manticore trying to catch up to them was funny, but kinda kept taking up more time than it needed.

There's not really that much to criticize besides it just being an alright Pixar outing. It's well designed visually, but the story is just middle of the road. It's for sure better than the worst of Pixar like Cars 2 or The Good Dinosaur. It's even better than other similarly middling movies like Monsters U and Brave. Though middling Pixar is still leagues above Illumination or the non-Dragon/Panda DreamWorks movies.

BioShock (2007 Video Game)

13 Years Later Bioshock (mostly) Holds Up

[8/10 · 13 February 2020]

When the game originally came out I was blown away by it. It looked unlike any game I'd played before. It created this extremely unique and fantastical world. It had some really good storytelling and cool gameplay.

I replayed the game as it's part of PS+ this month for free. I originally intended to just play a few hours of it to see how it aged and then drop it, but I ended up playing it all the way through in two extended sittings. The world of Rapture pulled me back in!

A handful of things don't hold up too well, but that's mostly because games have improved and evolved in the past 13 years. The shooting isn't great, it passable. Too often I felt my shots going right past, even with auto aim on. The aim down sights is pretty much useless as it's on the thumb stick pushed in and extremely inaccurate.You also can't crouch when moving, only when you're still which is a minor gripe.

Using plasmids is a bit wonky, but works well enough. Towards the end I found that equipping the right tonics allowed the wrench to be pretty powerful against enemies with the exception of the tougher gun wielding ones. The hacking mini-game is okay at first, but god does it get tedious to the point where I just shot cameras and turrets rather than getting them on my side.

Pacing wise the ending is a bit of a slog. Getting the items to become a Big Daddy as well as the escort mission of the Little Sister are easily the worst part of the game. The final boss isn't that great either as you mostly just spam him with either explosive bucks, trap bolts, or fire bolts.

As far as things that held up, the characters are unlike no other. You are silent, but what makes up this game is the cast of characters of Rapture. From it's tyrannical leader, Andrew Ryan, to the maniacal artist of Sander Cohen, Rapture is built by these characters that lead you along the way. The art and world are fantastic and really capture a 50's/60's world under the sea. The great art style really helps the graphics age well as nothing looked dated from a visual standpoint.

Besides the aging issues, it's still an extremely immersive game. The world building is like no other and very few games since then have had one just as cool. Infinite improves upon the game play tenfold as it's only 7 years old at this point. I am excited to play Burial At Sea as it's pretty much Infinite's gameplay set in Rapture which sounds magnificent!

Birds of Prey (2020)

First half setup slog, 2nd half okay plot.

[5/10 · 6 February 2020]

Birds of Prey is split into two halves that really just don't fit well together as a full movie. The first hour or so is setting up all of the characters. Harley gets the most of this time, but Black Canary , Renee Montoya and Cassie Cain each get shortened establishment. The 2nd half is where the movie finally starts it's plot, but one that just isnt that interesting.

The comedy is definitely going for a Deadpool-esque vibe. Although it never gets as raunchy as DP does. It's rarely as funny as it thinks it is.

The Huntress was probably the only funny aspect because of her self seriousness in contrast to the other wacky characters. She's a dark serious type hero, a Batman caricature of sorts. The bit about being initially called "The Crossbow Killer" is decently funny. It's sad that she's only really a major character in the last 1/4th of this movie.

The plot is really just a device to introduce the characters and tell Harley's story. It boils down to bad guy, Black Mask, is after a diamond with microscopic bank information etched in it, Harley and other mercenaries are sent to get it. This story doesn't actually kick in until the hour mark as Harley freeze frames and rewinds back to establishing Det. Montoya, Black Canary, and Cassandra Cain for the first hour literally just before the plot gets into gear. It just halts everything as now they want to make sure we really understand the non-Harley characters.

The action was lacking and uninspired as well. It relied way too much on slow-mo fights or just too much going on to really understand it all. You know you have a poorly made fight sequence when they decide to use slow motion on every punch or hit to make it seem cooler than it is.

I hate to compare it to Marvel and I'd like it to stand on it's own merits, but it comes off as a failed attempt at a Guardians crossed with Deadpool (which Suicide Squad was also a failed attempt at). It for sure could have taken a few notes from Guardians and how superbly well that movie set up the characters and got the plot into gear within the first 45 mins of that one.

Margot Robbie is still great despite the material, and I really enjoyed Mary Elizabeth Winatead's caricature of a super serious dark hero, but besides those this movie just isn't that interesting. It's just a mediocre imitation of two superhero formulas done much better before it.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars: The Wrong Jedi (2013) Season 5, Episode 20

First Star Wars moment to make me legit cry

[10/10 · 1 February 2020]

Star Wars is no stranger to big epic moments, favorite characters dying and bombastic musical moments to create some profound emotions. The closest I've come to shedding a tear was the end of The Force Awakens. The ending of this episode had me literally in tears! This story arc might be the best Star Wars story ever told on screen? Don't get me wrong, I love most of the movies and the good ones have some great story telling, but holy crap did this Ashoka on the run arc become something legendary!

The first episode of the arc was solid, but nothing mind blowing. Then the 2nd episode raised the stakes and started the real story of it all. Then the finale really brought it home to make it one of the most moving and best Star Wars stories ever written.

The last two story arcs of this season should go down as two of the top 5 Star Wars stories ever told. The Duchess's death in the previous arc was sad, but didn't get to me as it'd been a while since her and Obi Wan had been together, let alone a while since we saw her last in an episode.

This series Ashoka's been there from the start and the creators did a fabulous job of making her and Anakin's relationship a strong focal point of the show. Which is why it really hurts when the rest of the Jedi so easily remove her from the order. I was 100% on her side choosing not coming back as those Jedi morons shrugged it off as nothing more than a Jedi test and she came back stronger, when it was them who threw her to the mercy of the Republic.

The ending with her and Anakin is extremely heartbreaking and was the only Star Wars moment to make me cry.

There's two more seasons for me to watch, including the new Disney+ one. It will be interesting to see what they do from here on out, though seeing her on the new season's poster kinda spoils it a bit.

Like a Boss (2020)

These talents deserve better

[2/10 · 11 January 2020]

This clearly isn't a movie targeted towards me. Being a 30 year old man, I am for sure not the audience that this is meant for. That didn't stop me from enjoying stuff like Girls Trip, Bridesmaids, and Spy. All of those too are targeted towards a female audience, but I enjoyed them in their own right as they were funny and well made comedies.

This is just looking to capitalize on those kinds of movie and make a quick buck in January. It's extremely unfunny and really predictable. My girlfriend, who was the reason I saw this, usually enjoys movies in this similar wheelhouse, but even she ended up not liking it all that much either. All of the leads deserve better and have done better.

The only jokes that got a laugh out of me was one about Calliou and one involving Billy Porter's dramatic exit from a dinner. Everything else is just really forced moments and not funny. Salma Hayek is playing a cartoon villain that just doesn't fit in a movie like this either. She is only a few steps away from a cackling villain on a Saturday morning cartoon.

The plot in a comedy doesn't have to be much if the jokes carry it, but this plot was just really plain and boring. The two leads sell their company to Hayek. Eventually the two of them fight and split for a few scenes, then come to the realization they still need each other. Just super run-of-the-mill and tedious.

Not worth anyone's time and you're much better off re-watching the lead's better works in recent years like Girls Trip, Bridesmaids, Spy, or Neighbors.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008)

Lucasfilm mistake to release this in theaters, essentially a decent pilot to the amazing TV series

[7/10 · 8 January 2020]

When this came out in 2008 I was working at a theater and I had no idea what the hell this was. It was some weird animated Star Wars movie that had no hype as the prequels were still recent enough that people were done with Star Wars. The theater was bracing for it to be huge as it's 1. Star Wars and 2. An animated kids movie. Surely to say this one did flop mostly due to the negative reception upon it's release.

Lucas made a huge mistake releasing this as a movie in theaters. It is essentially just 3 episodes for the Clone Wars TV series. But people viewing it as another Star Wars movie really crapped on it as it's tone and structure is that of a TV show, not a movie.

As a pilot and 3 episode arc for the show, its pretty decent. It's for sure just as good as most of the first season which is just alright. It isn't until season 2 that it kicks into gear and the writing and animation explode into greatness.

Stinky the Hutt is pretty cute and the Jabba storyline is the best part of this pilot. Asoka is definitely improved upon in the TV series as here she is borderline unbearable and whiny. Some of the battle action goes on for too long and isn't well animated. The animation is also a bit sub par compared to the later half of the first season.

It's really confusing as to why Lucas released this theatrically, but then again he is the guy who directed the prequels. If you're interested in the Clone Wars TV series, I'd recommend watching this as it's an intro to some of the new characters. It's not a necessary viewing to understand that though. It's definitely not indicative of the high quality the show eventually comes into. I watched it after viewing the first season and it is a perfectly okay string of episodes. So only watch this if you plan on doing the whole series, on it's own it doesn't make sense as a theatrical movie

Jumanji: The Next Level (2019)

Mediocre Popcorn Movie To The MAX

[6/10 · 5 January 2020]

I'm not opposed to seeing a dumb popcorn flick every now and again. The Fast and Furious movies are essentially that and I enjoyed those for the most part. I do look forward to being surprised when something I think is going to be a dumb popcorn movie ends up being something more special like Bumblebee or Edge of Tomorrow.

This sequel sits on the low end of that spectrum and is a serviceable enjoyable mediocre popcorn flick. The first was a much better example of a turn-off-your-brain fun movie. Nothing deep or memorable, but you'll be entertained for 2 hours. This is literally more of the same with a few players switched around.

The worst part of it is the decision to have two elderly characters sucked into the game. Their whole joke in the movie was that they don't understand what is going on. So we are essentially given the exposition explanation for how the world works ALL OVER AGAIN because of these two senior characters. It's not just once, it's their whole joke of the movie. The whole "old people don't understand stuff" is their joke for 3/4ths of the movie and it gets old.

The Rock for half this movie gives a superbly awful performance feigning a New Jersey accent as he is supposed to be Danny DeVito's character internally. This was a terrible choice as the Rock is just serviceable actor when given the right material, but he does not do accents well at all. Kevin Hart on the other hand does a fantastic impersonation of Danny Glover, though the whole joke of the movie for him is the talks slow. Thankfully there's a body swap towards the last act so The Rock is back to the normal kid. Awkwafina then becomes DeVito and one-thousand percent does a better New Jersey accent. She's honestly the best part of the movie hands down, but doesn't join until halfway in the movie.

Besides that terrible Rock performance, the rest of the movie is essentially just a copy of the first movie with a few little things done differently. It's a serviceable way to kill 2 hours and it has a few laughs, but it doesn't do much different than the first did.

It's good the ending here alludes to them completely changing the formula in the 4th movie, but this one should have been the one to make major changes.

Again it's not terrible, but it's literally just a copy/paste of the first movie with some pieces moved around. It would have been neat to see them change the formula in this one and make it interesting. Maybe had a whole new cast of characters along with Awkwafina's character. But they chose to play it safe and just do similar tropes from the first one.

Of all the holiday fare, it's honestly better than Star Wars: TRoS and Frozen 2, so go and see it and enjoy some dumb fun for 2 hours.

Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker (2019)

Flat ending to the Skywalker Saga

[3/10 · 22 December 2019]

I will start off first with saying, YES I do like The Last Jedi. I really enjoyed Rian Johnson's fresh take on the universe. The Force Awakens was an alright and fun movie. I forgave the plot point comparisons to A New Hope as it was a solid start to the series. TLJ was really fun and I liked where they took the characters. The casino part could have been trimmed up a bit and made it a better movie overall, but I truly enjoyed Johnson's mark he left on the series.

When Colin Trevorrow was announced as IX's director I was skeptical. His directorial debut, Safety Not Guaranteed, was really great. The giant pile of dino doo-doo named Jurassic World came out and soured my interest in anything he had to do. From interviews he seemed like his head was in the right place and he wanted to emulate Lucas' early years as a filmmaker. But he then left and JJ Abrams was his replacement. I figured it would be TFA again, safe, but still fun.

It sure as hell was a safe ending, but just not a great or fun one at all...

Bringing back the emperor is probably the biggest reason this movie fails. Why not have just Kylo be the villain??? Why did Palpatine have to be back and be revealed to be the catalyst for luring Kylo to the Dark Side? His inclusion just soured the whole movie.

Even without Palpatine, this movie is just all over the place. Rey and the gang are on a relic hunt for a map to lead them to the secret Sith planet and Palpatine. This is the whole plot of the first 3/4ths of the movie. They just go from planet to planet and really have nothing interesting happening. Sure, even the simplest plots like that can work. Raiders of the Lost Arc is like that, but the stuff happening, road blocks, and character interactions are what made it such a damn fun movie. This is just really uninteresting.

Also holy crap is there so much fan service and callbacks to the original trilogy out the wazoo! It annoyed me in Solo when it happened, but this is 100x worse than solo. Whether it's repeated lines from the original movies being said in a new situation, or really poorly place musical cues, this movie really wants to mooch off your nostalgia to make you happy.

TFA worked, despite being safe and trying to please your nostalgia zone, this just really wanted to please all the online crybabies who disliked TLJ.

None of the resolution is satisfying for the ending of a SAGA. Kylo's redemption is quick and really doesn't have any emotional depth. Rey being the granddaughter of Palatine is stupid. The Knights of Ren are no more than glorified stormtroopers and barely utilized. Finn has no character arc at all. Poe's past is hinted at, but no depth is shown. They did the best they could with the Leia stuff, but knowing what they did to recreate her in this, it was really obvious they had to create other character's dialogue around hers from TFA deleted scenes. Lando was brought back just because Williams is still alive, his addition makes no sense. Rose, who I really loved from TLJ, is thrown to the background and barely a tertiary character. JJ really gave in to all the gross people who hated Rose, disgusting move on their part to make her appear in maybe 30 seconds total.

This trilogy needed one core storyboard writer to keep the whole thing consistent. As much as I like TLJ and TFA, they too feel like three separate movies and not ones that fit together as a trilogy. Directors can change, just like the original trilogy, but the core writers needed to stay the same throughout the series. Sure, the director has some leeway to tweak parts of the scripts, but the roadmap needed to be established as it's clear they had no idea what they wanted to do from the beginning. Palpatine was never a thought on JJ's mind when doing TFA, but since he was recalled after tons of fans were butthurt about TLJ, he had to do the best he could and his easy fix was "Hey, Palpatine is still alive and the catalyst for everything happening!!"

This is just extremely disappointing. It as so many great small parts, but they're surrounded by such a middling movie. Babu Frikk is wasted in such a mess of a movie, C3PO's reprogramming was sort of fun, and that's all I can think of that I really found memorable or enjoyable.

I will still enjoy the first two new trilogy movies on their own, but it will be in the back of my mind that they didn't even come close to properly ending the saga. If anything, this makes me excited for any non-Skywalker movies as we don't have any preconceived notions on old characters and we can start anew in the universe. That's part of what makes the Mandalorian so great, though despite it's fan service and call backs too.

Fingers crossed Rian Johnson gets his own separate SW projects, but seeing as Disney wants to appease the "die hard" fans, I doubt those will happen. I'm fine with him making original wonders like Knives Out.

Hotel Transylvania (2012)

Proof not every animated movie has to strive to be Pixar

[8/10 · 2 November 2019]

The Hotel Transylvania movies are some of the most fun cartoony animated movies. The animation is very reminicent of cartoon shows like Tom & Jerry, or Looney Tunes. Characters are animated in exaggerated ways and makes the movies really entertaining to watch.

I love most Pixar movies, but they never really deal with cartoony action. This movie does it really well and has a pretty weird sense of humor. This sense of humor makes it extremely watchable by adults. It has a few of the "jokes kids won't get because they're not old enough", but it doesn't rely on them. It just has really a creative sense of humor that is clever.

Sandler is surprisingly amazing in this as I forget it's him doing Dracula. His usual movie pack also does well and really shows you they do have comedy talent when not stuck in Sandler's awful live action movies.

What really makes this work besides the sense of humor is the story. It has heart and really keeps you invested in the movie. The characters are really well done and the family aspect of Drac and Mavis gives this movie so much depth.

I'm glad there is a creative team making animated movies like this. It's not the same level as Pixar, but it's really funny and creative in it's own way. It's miles above any of the Despicable Me movies and non-Dragon/Panda Dreamworks movies. It's sad that the series plot wise has kind of gone downhill, but it's sense of humor has still stuck strong and make each movie worth a watch just for that and the cartoony animation.

Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation (2018)

Mindless entry in normally entertaining cartoon series.

[5/10 · 2 November 2019]

The first two movies are extremely fun and well made cartoon movies. They have the feel of a silly Saturday morning cartoon with some of the most quirky animation in modern movies. They also had some heart and a really interesting stories.

This one throws all of the heart and story out in favor of full on cartoon silliness and makes it the worst entry in the series.

The animation is still some amazingly well done cartoony animation. It's not the technical marvel that Pixar movies are, but it really does the cartoon aspect of it well.

There's still some fun gags to watch, but a lot of this movie relies on those over dialogue or an interesting story. There are 3-4 scenes where there are no dialogue and just end up being really kind of dull. I know it's a kids movie, but there's just scenes in it that really feel aimless and are gags that just go on for way too long. It makes 50% of the movie just feel like filler to spread out the simple plot to a 90 mins to entertain kids.

Drac and his love interest are the main focus in this and most of the other characters become tertiary and are no more than glorified background characters.

It's still got enough of the wacky animation and outlandish humor, but it kind of feels like they didn't have enough to do with the plot. The first two held my interest the whole way through, but this one was just filled with way too many extended bits that go on for way too long and just feel aimless. It's very reminiscent of how Minions has those extended scenes of the minions doing some silly event that derails the movie for 5 mins and has no impact on the story.

Here's hoping the 4th in the series has more to it and can keep it intriguing for the adults too.

Terminator: Dark Fate (2019)

Best of the Post-T2 movies, still lackluster

[5/10 · 31 October 2019]

I've seen all the Terminator movies except for Genisys. This one for sure is the best of all the post-Terminator 2 sequels, but it's still just an average movie.

None of the action scenes are anything special and there's an over use of passable CGI. Some de-aging for certain scenes happens and it does NOT look good. Thankfully it's only mostly the opening. Even then the rest of the CGI is alright. There's a scenes here and there that it doesn't look too great, but it's good enough.

Mackenzie Davis is pretty great in this. I hope she gets more roles after this movie. Would have 100% worked without Linda Hamilton, but it was nice to see her back on the big screen. Arnie's part is small and towards the end and makes the movie a little bit better. The new female lead is good, but rarely feels like a character in the movie.

The pacing is really awkward in this. There's a good 45 mins in the middle when they're trying to cross the Mexico/America border and getting caught by border patrol which brings all of the momentum of the first act to a complete halt. Action doesn't need to be happening non-stop, but the middle just isn't interesting. Nearly fell asleep towards the ending as the final action scene is a bit dull and just a mess of a lot of dark scenes where you can't tell what is happening.

This also barely earns it's R rating. There's really only one scene with any major blood, the rest is the f-bomb dropped maybe a dozen times.

Even though this one wasn't terrible, please stop making Terminator movies.

Joker (I) (2019)

First Emotional Comic Movie Since Logan

[8/10 · 26 October 2019]

Marvel Studio's productions are generally liked by most people. They've got their ups and downs, but for the most part they're all really solid, fun movies to watch. With the exception of a few movies, none of them really resonate emotionally with me. Some of them have their moments that do nearly bring a tear to your eye, but apart from some deaths they really never have much in terms of moving me emotionally.

Nolan's Batman series and Logan are really the only superhero movies that I can think of that really made me feel something while watching them. Joker is now another one that I can add to that list. Not all the emotions were describable, but this movie definitely effected me.

Most of the reason it got to me is Joaquin Phoenix's performance. Take that away from this movie and replace it with an okay performance, and it'd be just an alright movie. The plot isn't the strong point of the movie. The strength of this movie is the titular character. His performance mixed with the powerful score and beautiful cinematography are what elevate this movie. The plot on it's own is alright, nothing too complex. Lack of complexity is what makes this work. It's a simple story about a man driven to become Joker and not much more.

What works best about this movie is that how grounded it feels compared to most other comic book movies. Strip the DC license from it, remove Gotham, Joker, the Wayne family and replace them with just normal non-licensed characters, it still works. This could be a movie about Joe Smith living in Detroit with the same stuff that happens in the movie and it'd still be extremely compelling. What brings it a level higher is the fact that it is about DC characters and that they even let them take a risk and do this movie.

We've had dark super-hero movies like Nolan's Batman, and we've had violent ones like Logan and Deadpool, but nothing has felt quite as grounded as this. As "realistic" as Nolan's Batman movies were, they were still stuck in the fantastical comic world. That's not a bad thing, but they just don't feel quite as real as Joker does.

Part of me really wants to see Joaquin appear again and go head-to-head with some version Batman, but part of me doesn't. At the end when he fully adapts the Joker persona I was left wanting to see this fully converted man battle it out with Batman, but also with everything else happening it really works beautifully as a one-off story. This movie shows that we don't need to have every property in a cinematic universe. It's amazing that Marvel worked out and we do have a 25+ movie cinematic universe, but not every property has to go that route. We could use a one-off story here and there, no need for sequels or adjacent movies where they all team up.

Honestly would be kind of weird to see Phoenix's Joker have a scheme similar to the one Ledger's had in TDK, but I would also like to see what kind of Director Todd Phillips would do as a follow up. How he would do his own Batman v Joker movie set in the realistic world he created for this movie.

Whether they decide to make a sequel or never do another one, I think I'll be happy either way.

GLOW: Keep Ridin' (2019) Season 3, Episode 8

Fast Forward Over What Could have Been a Longer Season

[6/10 · 22 September 2019]

The only reason I'm writing a review for a specific episode is because this is the first episode of this show that I have "disliked".

The fast forward they decide to do was not handled very well and we're thrown into 6 different plots that had been brewing since the 50th performance to the 200th.

It just felt like a cheap way for the showrunner to fast forward to the ending that they wanted to wrap up in the final two episodes. This is one of the few Netflix shows that I wish they gave a 13-15 episode run. It's also the 2nd shortest episode, nearly 10 mins shorter than the usual and it ends out of nowhere.

It just felt too much like a cop out to warp immediately to the end of GLOW's run at the casino. There coulda been a way to naturally do it, hell ask Netflix for 3 more episodes.

Even the ending of the season felt like it was just set up for the next and now final season, though the next two episode were pretty fantastic. Here's hoping we get some good closure in the final season and finale!

Ad Astra (2019)

Visually Stellar, Story muddled by pointless beats

[6/10 · 20 September 2019]

I was extremely excited for this movie mostly due to the cinematographer Hoyte Van Hoytema. I've been a fan of his since he blew me away with the visuals in Spike Jones' Her. Spectre was a mess of a movie, but the cinematography was amazing. He then became Nolan's man after Wally Pfister left and he was a perfect replacement for him.

The director of this is one I wasn't familiar with, but the cinematographer and Brad Pitt had me intrigued. Sadly those two are the best aspects of the movie.

I did enjoy the world building of an Earth where commercial space travel to the Moon and Mars. The space travel was well realized.

Visually it is top notch. I rarely ever thought anything was CG as it looked phenomenal. The mood of being in space was captured like what I imagine the feeling is. Hoytema does what he does well and his visuals really are the star of the show.

Brad Pitt does well with the material and elevates it from the mediocrity it is. This movie is about isolation and he plays it well. The narration of his did drone a little. It's good at times, then others its just weird whispering. It reminds me of the tacked on original Blade Runner theatrical narration that just added nothing.

What really brings the movie down is the story beats they decide to add to the plot. It's a simple plot. Brad Pitt's character is sent ona mission to send a message to his father who has been missing for 30 years. On the way there are little bits of story added that try to add more going on, but they really just feel like filler. Especially a scene where during the flight to Mars they stop to attend to a distress signal of a research vessel with animals on board. It adds nothing to the plot and just felt like a filler.

Donald Sutherland's character felt like he was supposed to be more important, but he exits the movie 15 mins in, only giving Pitt a small bit of intel that was obvious to the viewer anyways.

Gravity did a fantastic job of making a simple story interesting and complex. Ad Astra seems like it's trying to do that, but they just add filler scenes to add more depth to the story that doesn't need it.

The ending just felt so rushed and really didn't get it's message across very well either. It's got a moment where you should have big emotions, but it just happens so quickly that there is no time to take it in.

This one was overall a disappointment. It's worth seeing for the visuals alone and a solid Pitt. The story just gets too convoluted for what should have been a simple story about a father and son with a lost relationship separated by light-years. Not an awful movie, just a misguided one that could have been so much better. I'm still a fan of Hoytema and I hope he keeps making movies as good looking as this, maybe hopefully just something on the level of Her or Dunkirk.

Blade Runner 2049 (2017)

Does a 30 year on sequel dream of being better than the original?

[10/10 · 15 September 2019]

Coming into this movie I honestly was not excited. The original is of course a classic and sequels decades apart usually don't end up well. The only one I can remember recently was Tron Legacy, but even though I love that movie, it's not perfect by any means, even the original doesn't hold up well.

So when I heard there was going to be a sequel to Blade Runner, I was extremely skeptical. Ridley Scott wasn't the director he used to be for a long long time, despite a few gems like Gladiator and The Martian. But when I found out it wasn't him directing, I became a bit more excited. Denis Villeneuve was a director's style I liked, but I was not a huge fan of Prisoners or Sicario. Visually they were stunning, but they never got to me.

I was still on the fence until the critical acclaim started. So I bucked up and went to see it. It has been a long while since a movie had moved me like this one did. "Her" and "Drive" were probably the last two that I adored top to bottom like I did this movie.

It got everything right. It felt exactly like if the original was made today. The slow a hell pacing, the dirty future, the gritty lead.

A lot of people who I know at the theater I worked at did not like it. Their main gripe was "there wasn't enough action. "This is NOT an action movie. Just like the original it is a slow burning character and atmosphere piece. No one should go in expecting it, but unfortunately the trailers make it seem like a futuristic action movie like Minority Report or Star Wars (which are also good in their own right).

Nope, this is a slow sci-fi movie that goes much deeper than shooting lasers or robot battles. The action is sporadic and when it does happen it feels real as if you're in the movie.

Gosling is easily one of the smartest actors when it comes to choosing projects. From Drive, to Nice Guys to this, he is really selective at picking projects that usually end up being some really fantastic stuff. He shines here, despite being pawn in a bigger picture. Like Drive he is a silent, sulky type who knows what the hell to do when everything goes wrong. He is perfect for the lead in a future dystopian world.

If I do have one minor gripe, it is that Deckard maybe didn't need to be in this movie at all. I was glad that his stuff is minimal and at the end, but the past decade or so has felt like Ford is doing a tour and showing up as his most iconic characters. Some work, The Force Awakens; other don't, Crystal Skull. He does a fantastic job showing us what a 30 years on Deckard would be, but the story would total have worked without him. But his minimal role still allows the other characters to be the focal point.

As with the original, the cinematography and world building are the main draw of the movie. Seeing this one the big screen is a MUST, so it's a shame it was barely in theaters for 3 weeks. I so badly wish I had seen it again and possibly on an IMAX screen. There's not one bad shot in this movie, every frame is beautiful. I go back and forth on Hans Zimmer's work, but this is some of his best. He emulates the original Vangelis score, but makes it his own. Synth blares from all sides around you as you sit and bask in the godly cinematography.

I still have yet to go back and re-watch the original. I didn't watch it leading into this as I didn't want to spoil my expectations. So I need to see it again soon for sure, but this might be a better overall movie? Maybe not. The original will always be cemented as a classic, and this one too might be, but we will have to see how it is revisited through the years. As with the first this one still has a cult-ish following. Probably more fans than the average cult movie, but Blade Runner is never going to be a name you hear as much in public like you do Star Wars or Avengers. But that's how I like it.

I'm glad that some studios still let filmmakers take risks and make movies like this. They're few and far between thanks to producers mainly caring about the money aspect In this day and age it's great to see that someone greenlit a $100+ budget slow cerebral sci-fi movie. Sure it was a sequel, but a sequel to a cult movie.

It will be interesting to see what Villeneuve will do with Dune. The original Dune is a mess of a movie, mostly ruined due to studio interference and not because of David Lynch. So maybe he can re-invent Dune as he did here with this. I do hope this doesn't get forgotten and is remembered as well as the first movie.

The IMDb Show (2017– )

Short clips cut into interviews/segments make this infuriating

[1/10 · 15 September 2019]

I'd love to watch the fun games that the actors play or their interviews, but the editing in this show kills it!

Every 15 seconds there is a damn 2 second clip from a movie or tv show that is supposedly in relation to what the interviewee just said, but they rarely are related and add nothing!!!

It makes everything IMPOSSIBLE to watch when there is a 2 second useless clip interrupting! They add nothing and actually make the content worse!

This show needs a new editor.