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Darthstinky
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Hollywood Mortuary (2000)
Starts slow but picks up toward the end
I was bored most of the movie but once the "Zombies" Go on a killing spree the movie becomes epic. For some reason its shot in black and white and it can be distracting especially when the first 2/3rds of this movie is talking. If you fast forward the movie to the last 20 minutes you wont miss anything important and you'll be able to see what makes this movie stand out as a "good bad" movie. The effects aren't great but they work with the story being told. The acting is funny, not because its bad but because the actors know this movie sucks so the just have a good time with it. Its worth a look if you like funny bad movies. Ron Ford Knows how to make a movie work even with a small budget.
Sirius (2013)
*yawn*
Sirius is a Documentary about Steve Greer trying to get the government to disclose there files on alien life and he has some type of small alien mummy....I think. I saw this movie on Netflix and I'm truly glad I didn't waste money on this film. It supposed to raise compelling questions for the U.S. government to address but what ends up happening is Steve Greer walks around for the entire running time. There are some interesting things in this film that are interesting however its all presented in an uninteresting way that make you want to take a nap and wake up in time to see the credits. If you like uninspired lame documentaries then this movies for you!!
Lincoln (2012)
I wanted to sleep through the entire movie.
This movie is the most boring large budget movie I've ever seen. It was shot well the acting was great...but nothing happens the entire movie!! The entire movie could have been summed up in a few words, "Slavery was lame so President Lincoln made it illegal". I thought there might be some civil war battles or some type of conflict to show how bad the war was for the soldiers fighting in it but they just show a pile of severed limbs and make Lincolns son cry. While the amendment he was trying to get passed WAS important they way its shot is like watching C-span for two and a half hours. Even at the end *Spoilers* they don't show Lincolns assassination! They show his youngest son watching a play WHILE HIS DAD IS WATCHING A PLAY IN A DIFFERENT LOCATION!! then they say "Oh hey....the presidents been shot..." The point of movies is to entertain people!! I saw this movie because Daniel Day Lewis is one of the best actors to ever live and even he couldn't make this movie watchable. 'There will be blood' was a slow moving movie but it had events in it that made it interesting to watch. If you want to watch a film that's more boring then learning about the civil war in school then this movies for you!!
V-World Matrix (1999)
Its like the matrix.....without a budget...or a plot.....
V-world matrix is like one of those movies that is so bad its entertaining. Notice I said entertaining and not "good". The effects are lame but it actually works in the movies favor. The entire time I was watching this movie I was constantly laughing at the horrible acting and the sound quality. The gun and electricity effects are so stupid that when I saw a clip of this movie on you tube I thought that it was a parody of a bad movie....then I found out it was an actual movie. I wont go into the 'plot' because...lets face it you don't care. If you like laughably bad graphics, a stupid plot and a few shots of huge boobs then this movies for you.