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gramermarcel
Reviews
Dragonball Evolution (2009)
Are you a grownup?
Going over the reviews for the original DBZ, 2 things stick out.
1) DBZ is written to be understood and consumed by 7yo and above. Not a criticism, just an objective observation, factual and verifiable (i.e. Rated TV-Y7). This movie only steps that up to PG.
2) The awesome reviews come from nostalgic recollections of the reviewer's childhoods. You know, back when you were only pretty sure Santa wasn't real but just knew you too could one day be a martial arts master and superhero. Scroll through and you'll see they start with- I remember when I was 6, or- Started watching with friends after school, etc.
All this to say, a 2 star average accompanied by such hyperbolic vitriol is the type of anomaly rating you get when you hit a nerd nerve, when you dare attempt to modernize stories of yesteryear that were embraced by nerdiest among us (not a criticism, I love nerd lore too;).
Every comic book guy will come out of their metaphorical basement to say it's the "worst ____ ever".
That's understandable, even amusing, but they're frustration is misplaced. Hollywood's attempt to reboot something fun from a then otherwise largely overlooked genre, should be appreciated, not derided. Not like this took away from some other anime movie getting made, as the years before we got the quality we have now have proven.
It just wasn't time yet. The biggest mistake this movie made was not predicting the overly precious recollection of their target audiences childhood. That, and also just not trying very hard... Despite all the above, it actually isn't very good😂 It's just not NEARLY as bad as reviews make it out to be.
I get it, it's a dumb movie, JUST like all things created for children (kids are great, but they're famously not as smart or able to understand the real world as well as adults), but that doesn't make it bad. It just means manage your expectations and know you're about to watch a 15yo live action reboot of a 30yo cartoon made for kids fascinated by super powers and fighting abilities that let them defeat their bullies in wild spectacles.
If what you want is well enough choreographed fights that use unusual methods (like single handedly defeating a handful of attackers and destroying their car without ever touching any of them), and also still appreciate late 2000's CGI (not as great as today's, but passable), then this scratches the itch.
If you grew up a diehard DBZ fan and want a movie that takes your childhood fantasies seriously to tell an adult story that adheres to your version of verisimilitude (which was as fuzzy as your understanding of that word at that age), then your nostalgia has set expectations that cannot be met.
An adult giving this 1 star and ranting that it's an insult to fans is like complaining that the mall Santa is insulting your childhood memory of Christmas.
It's a kids movie, get over yourself.
Pirate Gold of Adak Island (2022)
Just like hunting ghosts or bigfoot shows
Buried a century ago, but this team of "experts" are gonna pull off what a century of desperate treader hunters couldn't, right?😂🤣😂
Won't spoil it for those 1st graders that might find this kind of mindless waste of time entertaining, but you can start on the last 10min of the last episode to get exactly the result you'd expect if you are at least smart enough to outwit the 1st grader.
Should've hired Nic Cage😉
Nathan for You (2013)
This genius deserves really good grades from a top Canadian business school
Nathan's ability to keep a straight face while improvising the funniest possible outcome from unsuspecting participants is just one of the many indications of his truly genius mind.
Many have tried this form of comedy, but have failed so badly that it made me think it was just a flawed concept, but Nathan proves that it is a high art and he is the master.
The Web (2013)
Better than 90 seconds of farting
The kissing scene was so believable that I thought maybe one of the actors was actually feeling it was real.