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The Ninth Gate (1999)
Supernatural noir at its best
This is a great film. An underrated film. A real gem. Roman Polanski is a master storyteller, and in this wonderful film he takes us on a beautifully crafted journey through passion, obsession, the occult, the paranormal, and on into that ultimate end to which we all succumb... or do we? What if there was a way to cheat it? What if an ancient book about the Devil had the power to...
From the monogrammed slippers in the opening suicide scene, via the mysterious 'girl', to the serpent tattoo on Lianna's thigh, the framed photograph on the wall next to Balkan as he tells Corso of his 'hobby', the same image on the postcard, the number Balkan presses in the lift to get to his personal floor, the number he keys into the door lock to his occult book collection... everything is important, everything is planned, everything is part of the great 'whole' that finally shows its face in the final moments of the film.
I believe there will come a time when people will rate this film among the very best of its genre. It has to be (along with the wonderful 'Ed Wood') Depp's best film. And Arturo Perez-Reverte's 'El Club Dumas' is improved upon and moulded into fabulous cinema. I love it, and have watched it over and over. And the music is great too. Top marks. Top movie.
Time (2021)
Worth a 10
'Time' is worth a 10.
It's quite simply brilliant.
The writing, the acting, the direction, the editing... everything about it. Moving, human, engrossing. Wonderful stuff. Thank you Jimmy McGovern, Sean Bean, Stephen Graham and the rest of the cast.
Ripper Street (2012)
Wonderful television that gets better and better
I can't believe I left it until 2020 to watch this programme. Just coming to the end of the third series and it is simply wonderful stuff. The writing, direction, production and acting are all absolutely top notch. I can't praise it enough.
A Christmas Carol (2019)
A Christmas Carol for today
Seeing how different this was initially I wasn't predisposed to like this. However, I loved it. True, there are F bombs in it, and sexual references that may make for uncomfortable viewing by some; but that's the point. Scrooge is mean through meanness and redeemed only when shown himself in the mirror. There are lovely ideas in it, and the atmosphere is wonderfully evocative. When redemption finally comes it is humble, real and without the comic theatrics that normally accompany the transformation. Full of thought and humanity this is a Christmas Carol for today. Wonderful.
Picnic at Hanging Rock (2018)
Televisual art
This isn't just a story. It's not even just a film. This is a very beautiful artistic experience. How else can such a weird tale be told? From the start the viewer is twisted and drawn, cajoled and moulded. Each set piece begins with a statement camera shot, composed and structured to fill the senses and lead us into the scene. The photography moves with the eye of an artist, accompnaied by Cezary Skubiszewski's wonderful music, and we find ourselves in the midst of Monets and Renoirs, the most glorious light and colours, the sumptuous styles of 1900 mixed with high definition gorgeousness. This is the epitome of auteur drama.A completely fresh look at a compelling story, told in a wholly new way.
View this as art. See it as a moving work by a landscape master, peopled with beautifully observed characters, jockeying for your attention. It's a feast for the senses, and a marvellous thing to behold. In short, I loved it.
Mortdecai (2015)
An absolute shower
I couldn't stay the distance with this film.
An American actor playing the part of Terry Thomas (or it seems that way to me) but without the charm or authenticity of the original. Johnny Depp is capable of such great things (Ed Wood, The Ninth Gate) but the exagerated facial expressions here are the same as those for Jack Sparrow, and the accent is forced and overcooked.
There is simply no humour in this film. It's childish and silly in ways that are neither charming nor clever. It lacks integrity. It's a collection of daft scenes, joined together by hapless, inane dialogue and the undoubted belief that 'because it's Johnny Depp it's automatically great'... it isn't. Neither is it based in any form of 'truth' that the viewer can relate to. Stupid cheese gags, comedic 'moments' with knowing glances and head tosses to add style to the proceedings... but all fall flat. This is comedy that explains itself, that has no subtlety or connection with the tradegy of the human condition.
Watch 'Father Ted', 'Steptoe & Son', 'Fawlty Towers', 'Flight of the Conchords'. These are about life, people, the absurdity of the modern world. Mortdecai, in contrast, is a film about nothing, no-one, no place, no time.
Gwyneth Paltrow phones it in and Ewan McGregor is wasting his time here. Where does the money come from to write, film and promote this kind of film? There's so much talent out there looking for a break, and yet here we are again with a big star vanity project, missing the mark by a mile.
Two out of ten. For me it's a stinker.
Gunpowder (2017)
The Plot... lost
There is a famous contemporary illustration of the plotters which depicts Guy (Guido) Fawkes and the others... he doesn't have a shaved head. He doesn't look like a 21st century thug.
My point here is that TV drama has now reached a point where it's very difficult to separate fact from complete and utter fiction. This production looks great, but there's so much of our own time in it. I half expect to see a mobile phone appear. Kit Harington (creator and producer) looks and sounds and feels and smells like Jon Snow. Mark Gatiss looks and sounds and feels and smells like Mark Gatiss... is there no other part that this man can play? Liv Tyler makes an unnecessary appearance. Shaun Dooley looks like a supermarket store manager, and behaves like a pastiche of evil, something akin to Mark Heap's wonderful Robert Greene in Upstart Crow.
The recent Taboo from Tom Hardy (creator and producer... there's a theme developing here) was at least a complete fiction. The tribal tattoos and bizarre make up on the faces of the children could be argued away as fiction too. It was an orgy of quasi-historic, to be watched from the safety of our centrally-heated living rooms. And that's the same with Gunpowder. It's history for the hipster, the goth, the inked. Tough and uncompromising but ultimately plain wrong.
The crowd watching the horrendous executions are neatly spaced and directed. Some with arms aloft, others with hands cupped around mouths. There's no feeling of the pit, 'mosh' or otherwise. Our leading characters are WAY too attractive, too clean, too obvious. Real people don't look like this... and a Catholic hunter who has been told that exterior wall dimensions don't match those of the interior wouldn't give up on this fact the minute that one (very junior) cleric is found in a trunk. It's nonsense. It looks great, it pleases the modern palate, it gives Kit another excuse to brood and pout, but history it isn't.
Who was Catesby? After watching this I am none the wiser. I know he's played by Kit Harington... maybe that's enough? But on the other hand, maybe, just maybe, after the Harvey Weinstein thing has been confined to history, we may move away from film and drama that relies upon looks and sex appeal and, instead, moves towards talent, truth and honesty.
Les vacances de Monsieur Hulot (1953)
One of the best films ever made... and this is why I think so
Some movies entertain and fill the senses with thrills and excitement while others manipulate emotions and leave us in tears. Here is a film that does all of that and so much more besides. I'm not French and I didn't holiday in France either; yet here I am, full of nostalgia for childhood holidays, the sun, the beach and the unwritten rules of the two-week holiday. Tati captures the nuances of life that we all cherish, whether previously observed or not. To be human, to be shy, to be eccentric, serious, tired, cool, arty, a dragon or a man with no purpose other than to follow six paces behind his wife. The music, the pace, the sheer silliness, the unintelligible voice on the Tannoy, the child's head appearing through the steering wheel. How can anyone over the age of 25 not watch this with a smile on their face? I have read some reviews that call it boring and repetitive... no doubt written by folks that need aliens, car chases, guns, blood and expletives every other word. What good is a film without nudity, the main character with his shirt ripped off, sirens screaming, breakneck pace and clipped dialogue? To those people: one day, when you've experienced more of life, when you're ready and receptive you will 'get' it, I promise you. And when that happens you will see what is meant by the reverence metered out on this film. It's beautifully made, utterly charming, funny, poignant, cool, relaxing, annoying, shrewd, enlightening, observational, human, warm, unassuming, inoffensive and completely brilliant.
Professor Branestawm Returns (2015)
Brought it all back... in a good way
Not as bad as some reviews have made it out to be. I loved PB as a child. I loved the drawings and the characters. It's the only book that I can actually remember being read to me in bed. I had no idea that this had been turned into a TV thing until tonight. I watched it on BBC iPlayer and I was pleasantly surprised. Very quaintly English and gentle in it's treatment of a much loved classic I found it entertaining and very charming. There are bits of adult humour added in for good measure, but these would slide easily above the heads of youngsters. One reviewer used the words 'vile' and 'tripe' - total nonsense in my opinion, this programme couldn't have been made any differently. Disney doesn't rule the world and neither do Pixar or Dreamworks, there's room for Aardman and and other takes on humour and charm. I'd rather spend an hour watching this lovely little bit of harmless nonsense than the truckloads of so-called comedy that occupies most of television... endless 'teen' situations, poorly written stuff about groups of goofy people who live or work together... this is different, it harks back to more simple times and does it with warmth and affection. Besides, anything with Matt Berry in it has to be good.
Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989)
Possibly the greatest film ever made... please read
For many years I have held that Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure is possibly the greatest film ever made. A massive claim I'll grant you, but I have sound reasons for making it. Isn't it fair to say that a great work of art should teach us something about the human condition? Is it not also the case that great film should entertain and enlighten? In these times in which we live, when religion is used to vindicate horrific inhuman acts or finds itself being left by the wayside as logic and science march forward with greater and greater strides, it's a comfort to see that a simple tenet can revive one's faith in the human spirit.
With Bill and Ted there is no race issue, no religious overtone, no profit from moralisation. There is a love of life, wonder for the wondrous, simplicity in all things. Yes the story is ridiculously far-fetched (chewed gum would never hold the aerial of a time machine together like that) but it is engaging, lovable, silly and FUN.
The performances are superb throughout. The cast, from the amazing Deacon to the incredible Missy, are loving every minute of it. George Carlin is great as Rufus (he knows what he's talking about) and demonstrates acting akin to Olivier's Hamlet. It's stunning. It has everything... history, truth, corn dogs, gnarly old goat dudes and babes. Then there's Alex and Keanu... what more needs to be said? The two 'great ones' on which this film and the alignment of the planets rests. I have been calling everyone a dude since 1989!
The story, the idea, the joyous silliness, the observation... and the undeniable truth that there is no greater rule to follow than to "be excellent to each other... and party on dudes!" Seriously, there is nothing else. I mean that. I'd rather follow that credo than any other set of rules that might exist. I'm sure George Carlin would have agreed. If you haven't seen it, do yourself a favour and check out the greatest film of all time, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.
So crates... watch your robes dude.