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Wolf Creek (2016)
Rating applies to second series only
Literally nothing good to say about the first series. The story follows some dull American girl on her quest for vengeance after Mick killed her parents and her little brother who gets herself into trouble every step of the way.
The second series is far better. It's like the producers realised going off in a different direction from the movies was a terrible idea and went back to the plot we all love from the movies. Some dumb tourists get hijacked and are picked off one by one, from least annoying characters first to most annoying last.
Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare (2007)
What a yawnfest
Arguably the biggest MMORPG and the game that started the whole "Guns are cool" and "Shooting and trolling people you don't even know over the Internet is cool" trend of the 2010s. Even remember a police officer who came to my house and he was more interested in talking about Call of Duty than what he was called out for.
There must be a million other games just like this that are OK but are not deserving of a cult following. We've seen it all before 10 years ago in games like GTA San Andreas. Think of a rip off of that with better graphics.
Call me old fashioned but I prefer a strategy game with an isometric field of play like Command and Conquer rather than the cinematic 3D HD garbage you get nowadays that will make any PC that cost under £1000 blow due to overheating.
The Den (2013)
Just another boring found footage movie...
Bought this today in a second hand store, as it was a relatively new movie only a couple of years old and it was only £2 I wasn't expecting much. I was expecting to enjoy it very much as the Internet and social media is a hobby of mine and I am well versed on the goings on in the 'deep web', but this movie was pants! Some dumb American girl films people online without their permission and sooner or later she's in more trouble than she can handle. She knows that some Indian guy asking to transfer $14million into your account and give you a $1million for doing it is a scam but she's not smart enough NOT to open an email attachment from a stranger, really!? I might watch it again, or I might try and sell the DVD back to Cex. More than likely it is one of those DVDs I'll only get a penny for selling.
Arctic Blast (2010)
America saves the day...again
My first thoughts at the start of this movie were I was going to really enjoy it because it had nothing to do with the United States of America, but I was proved wrong from the mid point towards the end. It is always nice to see a good movie from Australia, as they are rarely over-the-top or boring. I am actually surprised by the low rating on here, I guess it must be from angry people who think this is just a cheap rip off of 2012. Maybe it is, but most movies nowadays are either a rip-off of some other movie or a terrible remake of an old movie. I was actually quite surprised by how much I enjoyed this movie, sure it's not a blockbuster and it has a lot of cheese but it's good cheese not cringeworthy cheese.
Flood (2007)
Typical boring disaster movie
Unconvincing acting, cheap CGI, mainly focused on cheesy drama rather than action. About it's only redeeming quality was it had Robert Carlyle in it and for once it wasn't a disaster movie set in the United States of America.
A great flood whooshed into the city of London, but buildings didn't crumble and there was absolutely no debris to speak of ugh...
Bought this on DVD for a couple of quid on Amazon, but I'm sure I got ripped off because more than likely they sell it in my local Poundland along with all the other crap movies no-one buys. It makes 2012 look like an awesome movie.
I hated hated just about every movie made since 2005, as they are never the kind of movie you'll watch time and time again. They're only made to look good on a trailer so they can rip you off at the cinema. This is no exception. When was the last time you saw a disaster movie as good as the 90s ones...Deep Impact...Volcano...The original Independence Day...I'll bet there hasn't been one.
Bitch Slap (2009)
Brilliant, funny and sexy
So sick of seeing badly written reviews where all people do is moan moan moan about bad acting and plot. This movie contains lots of sex and cheesy lines. If you don't like that don't watch it in the first place and then come on here whining about it in your 'review'. Im glad to finally see a comic book style action movie that isn't aimed at kids or adults stuck at 12 years old in their head. There is a lot of boobs in this movie, and it isn't some stupid super-cheesy college jock movie with acting as lame as in Pirana 3D. Think along the lines of Tankgirl (Angelina Jolie) if you ever saw that only much more entertaining, full of sexually-orientated quips and actions scenes. That fighting scene where the girl who is on the ground sits up and bites between the legs of the girl who is sitting over her her: LOL!
Independence Day: Resurgence (2016)
Thought this was a Star Trek movie at first
Just back from seeing this premier at my local Vue cinema, and it has left me with a glow that one gets from seeing an awesome movie, something which no movie has given me in a long long time.
As specified in the title, it played out a bit like a Star Trek movie. I thought I had gone in to see the wrong movie until Jeff Goldblum showed up.
It was nowhere near as classic as the original, many of the scenes and speeches given actually being rip offs from the first movie. I started chuckling at the part where President Whitmore got assaulted by the alien. It's something we've seen before why do it again?
A bit of a plot hole that I find unforgivable is that in the first movie President Whitmore specifically stated "They are entire civilisation, moving fom planet to planet." We destroyed that 'entire civilisation' in 1996 so how can the same aliens return?
The CGI was pretty rubbish too. I reckon a lot of the reason I enjoyed this movie was due to the fact I saw it in 3D, something which I have not seen the original in. I was reviewing it as I watched it and I was going to give it 5/10 had it not been for the tear jerking ending.
Prom Ride (2015)
Don't listen to these vile tongued armchair critics.
Given a limited budget, I would love to see them create a better movie. I bet they wouldn't know where to begin. A good movie doesn't have to be one that has top actors and has won a zillion academy awards.
This is one of the best horror movies I've seen in a long time, and actually led to me buying it after watching it on Amazon Prime. That's because it doesn't have a complicated story, or complicated characters. A good movie doesn't have to be one that taxes your brain to figure out what's going on. Although much of the movie plays like a found-footage movie, it isn't dull and keeps my attention well.
Recommended for your Halloween movie list.
Executive Decision (1996)
One of the best action movies of the 90s
The 90s saw a few good airline terrorist hijacking movies. You could compare this one to "Passenger 57" or "Air Force One" with a little Die Hard thrown in. All the characters in this movie are likable an each has there own characteristics although a few lines can seem a bit cheesy. I have watched this several times in the past and will no doubt watch again many time in the future. The basic plot is some terrorist gets arrested by the US, then followers of his hijack a plane bound for the US with a chemical bomb planted on board. The government has either the choice to destroy a plane with over 400 passengers on board or allow half the Eastern Seabord to die. Either decision will mean the government is finished politically, which is all they same to care about rather than the loss of lives.
Even Lambs Have Teeth (2015)
I'm not sure what I think of this movie
It started of pretty sound, two spoiled brats who use expressions like "OMG" and "BFF" get kidnapped. However, unfortunately for the kidnappers, one of the girls Father is a super paranoid FBI agent and he demands that she reply to her texts with a different word every day ie Apple the first day then something beginning with B the next day.
The kidnappers make the mistake of replying to the text on the second day with "Apple", one thing leads to another and the girls escape then the movie goes right downhill from there, full of silliness and plot holes like how did the girls get money to buy all that hardware to perform their rape revenge after they had escaped? How did they fail to notice their Fathers car parked in the farm after they killed the first guy?
Bunni (2013)
Sexy costumes
About the best thing that this movie had going for it were the outfits the girls in it were wearing, but then that's just my opinion. If you don't like 'sluts' in movies then you might want to give this one a miss.
It is a short B-movie horror, at only about an hour long with credits that seem to be 10-20 mins on top of that. I think they contain scenes of what happens to the main character, who I call Queen Bee because she was dressed up as a bee, after the night of horror and its pretty much optional whether you want to watch them or not. She wasn't a character I cared about so I didn't bother.
Roughly 40 minutes into the movie saw a death match between Queen Bee and Bunni, and it was pretty obvious Queen Bee was going to win it as she was the 'good girl'. Would have rated this movie higher if it had some sort of plot twist from there.
What finally sealed it that Queen Bee wouldn't die was that she announced she was pregnant. I slightly chuckled as I thought she was lying so Bunni wouldn't kill her. This made the ending even more obvious as a pregnant woman never ever dies in a horror movie. Soon as she says "I'm pregnant" you can bet your life she will still be alive and the end and the final scenes will be some cheesy garbage with her in hospital holding her baby in her arms and grinning like an idiot.
It Follows (2014)
Softcore porn that people call artsy
I enjoyed some if not most of the scenes in this movie, although the storyline seemed to make little sense. The character were completely hollow and I didn't care about them at all.
The basic plot from what I can gather is some middle class American girl catches a disease or a curse or something along those lines from having sex with a stranger, then just about everything after that revolves around sex.
This is the type of movie that I call a zzz-fest, meaning that it's good to put on if you want something to fall asleep to, because you really wont care what happens at the end its presented in such a boring fashion.
The Forest (2016)
Kids horror movie
Didn't expect much from this movie as it was on at my local Vue and Vue only show mainstream garbage and movies you could call 'family friendly'.
I'd definitely say this is a 'family friendly' horror despite the rating as there is very little in the way of blood and gore and it relies heavily on drama to try and scare us.
A woman's twin sister goes missing in a Japanese suicide forest and she goes to look for her. The ghosts in the forest look like they come straight from a school pantomime zzzzzzz. Definitely a movie made just to earn money and entertaining people was the last thing on the producer's mind.
Frozen (2010)
Great Movie
If you happen to be educated on ski resorts you will know the one represented here is nothing like the real thing. Ski resorts are never open at night even with lighting due to the safety risk and the lift operators would never accept a bribe or let people on after he's been ordered to close the lift due to safety reasons no matter how much they beg or how much money they offer. Think of them as mountain police.
And real ski resorts are open 7 days a week weather permitting and if there is a good amount of snow. Being closed Mon-Fri would be a waste of good income.
But other than that it is a very enjoyable movie. There is not too many scenes of blame and regret and arguing, the characters are not annoying. Its one of the best most suspenseful movies I've seen I honestly didn't think I was going to like it very much but I give it 10/10.
Tra(sgre)dire (2000)
What a waste of a good woman
Most of this movie plays out as porn with the story of a love triangle where the girl in it Carla could have a good woman called Moira but she wants to be with an abusive overbearing jealous man who thinks relationships she had before she even met him means that she cheated on him once.
The acting is bad and some of the scenes are way over the top. Everyone just has sex everywhere all the time apart from the whiny little girl called Matteo who looks like a boy.
People try to say this is a good movie, but in my opinion it is no different from the heaps of other B movie porno themed movies that are going around.8/10 for the hot porn scenes but the story it tries to have is just garbage.
Neighbor (2009)
You can quite safely skip the first 28 minutes
The first 28 minutes of this movie consist of little more than boring nobodies gossiping about their meaningless lives. I was about to switch it off and give it a one star rating think it was just some stupid college age horror comedy.
The motives for the protagonist in this movie are completely pointless. Is it rape revenge? Does she have something against the people she tortures? Does she having something against society in general? The answer to all three is no. Its just torture for the sake of torture.
And then there's those awful jumps in time that only serve to confuse matters, then to make matters worse we discover half the things that happen are just dreams.
There seems to be no plot to this movie whatsoever up until right near the end when we discover that the protagonist is in fact an escaped mental patient.
I really didn't care who lived or died in this movie as they were all shallow wooden people. In fact as I was watching I kept checking how much time it had remaining to see how much longer I would have to suffer. I very nearly switched the movie off midway through, and it would've been no great loss if I did.
Rape Is a Circle (2006)
10 out of 10
This is the best and most original torture porn movie I have seen in a long while. There are other much worse torture porn movies that have higher ratings on here. Most likely it is hated just because of the lesbian theme of this movie and it has an emotional story to it.
The main character Kerri's motives are glaring obvious, and sorry but this movie certainly does have a plot. It is clear Kerri is messed up in the head because she she suffered homophobic abuse in the past and was ridiculed and outcast.
It is wonderful to see a torture-porn movie that isn't just pointless chauvinistic torture of women or the 'you rape me I kill you' type of plot. I'm just sorry so many people who have seen this movie cant see this and write it off as garbage.
Creeper (2014)
Torture porn with a half decent story
Its kinda hard to write a review about this movie as it was only 45 minutes long minus the credits and everything but the last 10-15 minutes was just a series of confusing scenes that didn't seem to follow much of a plot. I really thought this was going to be a silly as Slaughtered (2008) at first.
The very beautiful Chloe Rosenthal entered the movie mid way through as the drunken bar whore Maggie and entered into a relationship with Oliver who usually just picks up bar whores, rapes them, and the bludgeons them to death.
But she is no ordinary bar whore. She has been following Oliver for months, noticing that the women who enter his house leave in a garbage bag. She listens to his story about his Aunt who sexually abused him as a child and tells him that his no excuse for his behaviour as he dies from consuming a drink that she poisoned.
Cheap, simple, rape revenge movie.
Eden Lake (2008)
What perfectly evil, despicable little chavs
This is the best British horror/thriller I have seen by far. If I could give it a higher rating out of 10 I would. You can ignore the fact that chavs this dangerous tend to in habit the council estates in the big cities rather than living in nice big houses in the country. This is (in my opinion) way more down-to-Earth and believable than the American brand of weekend away gone wrong style of movie.
It had me shouting at the screen. I hoped every one of those cruel vicious little wannabe gangsters would be executed slowly and painfully, but the only two that met their rightful fate were two minor instigators in the group. A young boy who was likely bullied by the ring leader and the girl who was likely being bullied too.
As the movie progresses we find out that the parents and the adults of the family are just as bad, and their darling little angels are incapable of doing anything wrong in their eyes because "they're just kids". I have met many parents just like this, although their kids aren't murdering swines.
Highly recommended.
Cop Car (2015)
I could watch this movie time and time again
Two preteen runaways are crossing the fields one day when they find an unattended cop car and this movie shows us the adventure they have together.
Some may find this movie disturbing for several reasons: Children swearing, children holding a gun, children being threatened with a gun, children being threatened with having their pets and family slaughtered.
It is quite entertaining for the most part and has several comedy aspects to it, like at the start when the two boys have run away from home and they take the opportunity to say every bad word they think of just because they can get away with it.
It excellently portrays the sweetness and innocence of children. When they first find the cop car one of the boys dares the other one to 'touch it'. This could quite easily have been made into a family movie as the more disturbing scenes were really quite unnecessary and it still would have made for an awesome movie. Who hasn't thought of stealing a cop car when they were that age?
London Has Fallen (2016)
Was a little disappointed
I had been waiting months for this to come out, I thought it'd be all about Britain but once again it was all about the United States of America and London just happened to be the battlefield. A car bomb went off, then the Queen's Guard went nuts and shot the German chancellor, then all hell broke loose. It is extremely unlikely there would be a rogue Queen's Guard as those guys have to train in the British Army for decades. If like me you were looking to see the houses of parliament and the Tory government getting blown up, you'll be disappointed. All we saw was a Sky news report saying parliament was heavily damaged. People say this is a Die Hard type movie, but I'd say it's more of a Call of Duty style movie. Overall I was a little disappointed, but I don't feel I'd wasted my money going to see it.
Backcountry (2014)
Meh
The main thrill of this movie for the first 40 mins is Mr middle class busting his toenail. They try to pimp as much gore and shock out of that as possible with him groaning and complaining, and showing a scene with his bloody sock. Im also not convinced the main actors are supposed to be a couple at all. They show nothing at all in common, for example lying with their backs to each other in a tent after skinny dipping that day and I show more affection for my friends than they do for each other in general especially when I've had a few gin and lemonades. I think it's "wooden acting" they call that.
It's not a horror anyway.
A Lonely Place to Die (2011)
Especially exciting for me
I live in the Scottish Highlands so seeing all the places I know on the big screen makes me wet my panties with excitement :D When the village Bobby said "I'll take ye up to Inverness central police station." That was just the icing in the cake because I live in Inverness and yes I was naughty once and ended up in the cells at Burnett Road police station aka "Inverness central police station." Anoch Mor, the town they were trying to find when they were in the mountains is actually a village called Dingwall its not far from where I live either.
A friend of mine who is an actual climber said "This is one of the few films that portrays rock climbing accurately.
Star Trek: Voyager: Endgame (2001)
Garbage ending to a great series!
This just completely spoiled the entire series. If you're looking for a high drama ending, with Voyager triumphantly landing on Earth's surface, the crew been emotionally reunited with their friends and family, and seeing the readjust to Alpha Quadrant then don't look here. Bang they go through a wormhole, there's like 20 starships waiting for them and then thats it.
The previous 85 minutes of the show are just some confusing borg time travel drivel with Captain Janeway VS The Borg Queen being the highlight. I really don't know how anyone can say the finale to this series is 'good' when it first came out it broke my heart how awful it was. I thought it had to be a joke, some kind of parody, and the real ending to the series would probably be released at a later date but no such luck.
If you look very carefully at the end when Voyager is being chased through a Borg ship, the Borg ship is destroyed for no apparent reason and Voyager makes it through the wormhole. That's just one mistake. The Borg Sphere followed Voyager into the wormhole but yet in the end point in the Alpha Quadrant debris from the Sphere comes out first followed by Voyager.
Star Trek: Voyager (1995)
Not the best Star Trek series
To tell you the truth Star Trek Voyager can be very cheesy and lame a lot of the time. The silly lengths they go to to preserve the prime directive. "We could get home faster but a colony of alien ants might die so we cant." Thats isn't a direct quote from the series but it gives the sense of morality and officiousness displayed in it. Then there's the group of Maquis outlaws who suddenly decide to be goody two shoes Starfleet officers just because they are 70 years from home.
I cant help thinking Jean Luc Picard would've got Voyager home in the first year or two of the series given the same set of circumstances. Janeway and her crew seem to WANT to be trapped in the Delta Quadrant although they give the impression that they are going home.