Just as playing the piano is not pressing your fingers on the keys, making cinema is not about filming people do things, no matter the budget.
OK, ALERT! NO spoilers needed really, this was just terrible. If you came thinking this would be an awesome (or at least good) western w Kurt Russel then you are as wrong as if you thought visiting Auschwitz in 2020 would be like visiting an amusement park. A far cry, really. Sadly, it took me an hour to realize I was watching the wrong movie.
It is sad to realize, retrospectively of course, that the producer could have told the writer to redo the script into a parody like TROPIC THUNDER (2008). Because it is the type of story that is parodied in Tropic Thunder, or maybe even worse: here we have disenfranchised characters no one really cares about, dull dialogue, boring scenes, lack of common sense, and mindless fake gore.
But the mysteries of the cinema industry managed to produce this as it came.
One way to redeem this is to leave it to film cannibals that can edit it, add a funny commentary, and rehash it into a ten minutes comedy.
Reviews
6 Reviews
Logan
(2017)
Slash Everyone In Sight And Get This Over With
12 March 2017
Warning: Spoilers
This is the perfect movie treat for fans of the Wolverine character as portrayed by Hugh Jackman in films. Period. I won't argue with that. And you can tell as much by just checking the titles of the "Five Stars!" reviews here at IMDb. Yep, it's exactly what this movie is. And by the way I am not a "fan" of the Wolverine comic books, I happen to like a few of them from the 80s. So I don't go to the cinema expecting to see a comic book I already have in my shelves. So what did I find in this film? A boring, unoriginal and unimaginative movie, willing to satisfy the appetites of fans left open in prior attempts of the franchise, full of moronic routines I won't bother to list. The occasional comedy moments are jokes based around the walking disability of a character, so expect the laughs to border the derogatory. And the choreographed "over the top" slashing violence quickly becomes dull and repetitive. Plus... there is also a lot of violence dispensed to kids, and by kids. Kids are shot, stabbed and kicked -a lot. And in turn the same kids stab back, slash back, electrify and decapitate. Which is creepy if you ask me, as for this alone the film merits to be a horror movie -which it ain't. Last, lots of people are saying the story is based in a comic book series titled OLD MAN LOGAN. OK, please don't. Because in this film (do I need to say... SPOILERS AHEAD?) Wolverine, now Logan, works as a limo driver to make money and buy anti seizure medication for Prof. X and hopes to make enough dough to buy a boat and go live in the middle of the ocean with same Prof. X. Do you find any resemblance in that with the comic book series? I guess not. The only thing in common with OLD MAN LOGAN is that Logan is OLD. End of similarities. Yeah, just skip it I guess.
Hap and Leonard
(2016–2018)
A Great Adaptation of Savage Season...
26 August 2016
Which is an odd choice to kick start the series. Because "Savage Season" was originally not part of the Hap and Leonard book series, it was a stand alone novel with the characters appearing first time ever. What would become known as the "Hap and Leonard Book Series" started with the intense mystery, amateur sleuth books like "Mucho Mojo" and "The Two Bear Mambo", and the rest is history. While the book series has ups and lows as any series, I never got tired of reading all of them.
The TV series is almost I would say dedicated to new and old fans of the books, the casting and the details are all there, so while Joe Lansadale's prose is gone it is a hell of a treat for readers that can approach an on-the-screen version. I am unable to tell how this TV series will sit to newcomers, because the plot ruminates deeply on themes that prevailed in Savage Season (i.e. the idealism of the 60s, and its reverberations into the late 80s) but were lately abandoned in the books which became their own distinct brand of crime mystery novels. And that is unfair as I am leaving out a lot of themes in the novels, really.
So give it a try, and if it lets you down just wait until the second arc comes out. If they adapt Mucho Mojo as it is hinted... or The Two Bear Mambo, or any other book with Hap and Leonard the plot will be much more intense and focused than this one, and the potential to rival with other mystery TV series like "True Detective".
The TV series is almost I would say dedicated to new and old fans of the books, the casting and the details are all there, so while Joe Lansadale's prose is gone it is a hell of a treat for readers that can approach an on-the-screen version. I am unable to tell how this TV series will sit to newcomers, because the plot ruminates deeply on themes that prevailed in Savage Season (i.e. the idealism of the 60s, and its reverberations into the late 80s) but were lately abandoned in the books which became their own distinct brand of crime mystery novels. And that is unfair as I am leaving out a lot of themes in the novels, really.
So give it a try, and if it lets you down just wait until the second arc comes out. If they adapt Mucho Mojo as it is hinted... or The Two Bear Mambo, or any other book with Hap and Leonard the plot will be much more intense and focused than this one, and the potential to rival with other mystery TV series like "True Detective".
The Wolverine
(2013)
"I am the best at what I..." bang! (ouch!) bang! (ouch!) BANG!! (OUCH!!)
28 July 2013
Warning: Spoilers
This is a movie with Hugh Jackman showcasing a beard and metal claws, and some Japanese dudes doing stuff, and there is also a blonde in a sexy outfit. Jackman gets shot at a lot, and even at point blank: in the leg, in the torso, in the shoulder, everywhere. But this is no western, really. There is some action here, there are scenes in which you wonder what is going on, and you don't care a lot about what's gonna happen next because you don't understand what is really going on. Then you pretend you understand, or you leave the cinema. I stayed, as my son was kinda entertained. Then he asked me what the hell was going on. "Whatever", I answered.
If you are new to the "Marvel-mutants-go-to-the-movies" hype, don't bother, you can certainly skip this: I don't think you will find a lot of entertainment value here. It feels quite disjointed, with bizarre and outlandish touches so typical of... well, not sure really of what, but possibly a melange of the worst examples from the "Marvel-mutants-go-to-the-movies" hype. Yep, it's all here. Don't listen to what the actors and "creators" in this movie are saying, or better don't take them too seriously.
If you are not new to Marvel mutant movies and are familiar with the title character, well, you can also certainly skip this, err..., "film".
In the comics, there are some memorable Wolverine stories, there are good Wolverine stories, there are bad, and then there are those which you feel you could give the stuff you just read some real purpose by wiping your rear end with the paper. And yes, that's exactly how I felt during and after watching it. I even wondered how would you do that with film.
I entertained a lot of other meditations during the movie. For example, my mind kept going back to Ridley Scott's Prometheus, once and once again, which, come to think of, it is a recent movie example of bad (Real Bad) science fiction and grotesque, bizarre imagery, in a disjointed story, about which you don't care a blimey about anything. Also, both Prometheus and this one have kind of odd things happening to heads -yes, "heads", and I am seriously trying not to spoil here the bizarre twists involving "heads" in both movies that still manage to stick to the retina after a while.
Oh, what the hell, I'll spoil it. In Prometheus, a disembodied head gets a metal probe manually punched in its skull, right behind the ear, and when given electricity through the probe the head starts moving and screaming, and then it explodes -that's Prometheus to me. Here in The Wolverine, a head (still fixed to its living body however) gets a half a piece of adamantium claw punched in, yes, literally, and it still manages to go on talking and acting. So... as I said, "whatever". This is what sci fi can get you sometimes.
And if you are still having second thoughts: forget it. Nobody is the best at anything in this movie.
(Snikt!)
If you are new to the "Marvel-mutants-go-to-the-movies" hype, don't bother, you can certainly skip this: I don't think you will find a lot of entertainment value here. It feels quite disjointed, with bizarre and outlandish touches so typical of... well, not sure really of what, but possibly a melange of the worst examples from the "Marvel-mutants-go-to-the-movies" hype. Yep, it's all here. Don't listen to what the actors and "creators" in this movie are saying, or better don't take them too seriously.
If you are not new to Marvel mutant movies and are familiar with the title character, well, you can also certainly skip this, err..., "film".
In the comics, there are some memorable Wolverine stories, there are good Wolverine stories, there are bad, and then there are those which you feel you could give the stuff you just read some real purpose by wiping your rear end with the paper. And yes, that's exactly how I felt during and after watching it. I even wondered how would you do that with film.
I entertained a lot of other meditations during the movie. For example, my mind kept going back to Ridley Scott's Prometheus, once and once again, which, come to think of, it is a recent movie example of bad (Real Bad) science fiction and grotesque, bizarre imagery, in a disjointed story, about which you don't care a blimey about anything. Also, both Prometheus and this one have kind of odd things happening to heads -yes, "heads", and I am seriously trying not to spoil here the bizarre twists involving "heads" in both movies that still manage to stick to the retina after a while.
Oh, what the hell, I'll spoil it. In Prometheus, a disembodied head gets a metal probe manually punched in its skull, right behind the ear, and when given electricity through the probe the head starts moving and screaming, and then it explodes -that's Prometheus to me. Here in The Wolverine, a head (still fixed to its living body however) gets a half a piece of adamantium claw punched in, yes, literally, and it still manages to go on talking and acting. So... as I said, "whatever". This is what sci fi can get you sometimes.
And if you are still having second thoughts: forget it. Nobody is the best at anything in this movie.
(Snikt!)
Ghost Recon: Alpha
(2012)
Great Action Short Film - Even if You Don't Care About The Game
7 July 2012
This was a blast and incredibly fun to watch -BIG THANKS TO THE BOYS IN CAMERA AND BEHIND!
It felt like watching some classic and tense action I had not seen in decades, reminded me of the SWAT series when I was a kid, but totally revamped and mixed with ROBOTECH...
People producing big budget action movies should take a few lessons from this. Forgert Rambo, never mind the Expendables -they ARE expendable indeed!
Movies like this, short or long, have been missing from the movie market for a long time. Even if you do a generic action movie, you have to nail the action and the suspense in the right blend so that even if you don't care about whats going on (a stolen nuke... again) at least you care about what happens to the characters -of whom, really, you just know they are some kind of special soldiers.
These people could do a modern remake of The Guns of Navarone and totally hit the mark -fast paced action and suspense, in a hight tech setting with an infiltration and assassination plot.
And I never liked the Ghost Recon games!
It felt like watching some classic and tense action I had not seen in decades, reminded me of the SWAT series when I was a kid, but totally revamped and mixed with ROBOTECH...
People producing big budget action movies should take a few lessons from this. Forgert Rambo, never mind the Expendables -they ARE expendable indeed!
Movies like this, short or long, have been missing from the movie market for a long time. Even if you do a generic action movie, you have to nail the action and the suspense in the right blend so that even if you don't care about whats going on (a stolen nuke... again) at least you care about what happens to the characters -of whom, really, you just know they are some kind of special soldiers.
These people could do a modern remake of The Guns of Navarone and totally hit the mark -fast paced action and suspense, in a hight tech setting with an infiltration and assassination plot.
And I never liked the Ghost Recon games!
The Book of Eli
(2010)
And They Said It Was In The Mad Max Vein...
28 March 2010
Warning: Spoilers
Well, this movie will certainly ignite either blind love or utter rejection among the masses. By the way, I am in the second group. Yep, I read post-apocalyptic film, a lone man with a mission, and I was drooling. Oh, and add Gary Oldman as a villain, you have my money for a ticket.
Well, from time to time I fell into these traps. By the 20th minute I was wishing I were at home watching it on DVD with a fast forward button at hand.
The set up was OK, the scenario was OK, Gary Oldman was OK.... and then the development was sliding slowly into boredom, then quickly, and by the 34th minute I was checking the time on my muted cell, and then some plot holes, or rather plot voids, and then I think I got out of the cinema before the screen turned black with the titles. It was probably the right time to leave: the main character was dying of a bullet wound to the belly he had taken at point blank and presumably a few days ago (time here was kinda blurred but he got to travel to San Francisco after being shot), and despite the gunshot he looked even healthier than me.
Having seen untreated abdominal wounds with and without bowel perforation on a fair amount of people, this was way too much for me to digest, and all this came about when the movie suggested for lack aof a better term, that the character was also... blind, blind even since before the narration began, despite he shot people with a gun from more than 20 meters and no misses. So I think you get my point.
We need better movies.
Well, from time to time I fell into these traps. By the 20th minute I was wishing I were at home watching it on DVD with a fast forward button at hand.
The set up was OK, the scenario was OK, Gary Oldman was OK.... and then the development was sliding slowly into boredom, then quickly, and by the 34th minute I was checking the time on my muted cell, and then some plot holes, or rather plot voids, and then I think I got out of the cinema before the screen turned black with the titles. It was probably the right time to leave: the main character was dying of a bullet wound to the belly he had taken at point blank and presumably a few days ago (time here was kinda blurred but he got to travel to San Francisco after being shot), and despite the gunshot he looked even healthier than me.
Having seen untreated abdominal wounds with and without bowel perforation on a fair amount of people, this was way too much for me to digest, and all this came about when the movie suggested for lack aof a better term, that the character was also... blind, blind even since before the narration began, despite he shot people with a gun from more than 20 meters and no misses. So I think you get my point.
We need better movies.
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