elephantmanfan Reviews

Son of the Mask (2005)

The only reason I didn't put a star rating is because they didn't have -18 as a choice.

[27 December 2014]

Honestly. This movie should HAVE NEVER BEEN MADE.

Son of The Mask: 2005

This is literally the WORST MOVIE I HAVE EVER SEEN. And I've seen a lot of movies. And no. It's not good as a stand alone movie. You know why? Because it makes even less sense to watch it without seeing The Mask then it does to even see it in the first place.

The original The Mask, starring Jim Carrey, managed to make the goofy CGI look good. No. Instead the creators of this film used it and made it look like a mortifying horror movie. And I'm not talking about the Exorcist scene. I'm just taking about everything in this movie in general.

However I love Jim Carrey's The Mask to let this ruin it. I just pretend it doesn't exist. Either that or it's "The Great Disgrace." Or, the one we don't talk about.

If there is one saving grace in this movie...nevermind, there isn't. DON'T EVER WATCH IT.

The Mask (1994)

Other than The Elephant Man, this is my all time favorite movie.

[10/10 · 26 December 2014]

Could there have been anyone else perfect for the role of this crazy guy?

The Mask: 1994

Now let's see here, how to explain this movie...honestly? How does one think of this as Jim Carrey's worst movie (they've obviously never seen Copper Mountain...)? This was a great film. They managed to make terrible CGI look good! Now that's hard to do. Unlike Son of The Mask. Which didn't. And ruined this movie for many people. You know. The one we don't talk about.

However I adore this film too much for that load of cacá to ruin the movie. Kudos to Jim Carrey. A great movie with just enough suggestive humor to appeal to adults and funny scenes to entertain kids. If I ever become a movie director when I grow I bit older, because I'm a bit young, I plan to make a The Mask II, which was planned to be made but wasn't, and was replaced by the Great Disgrace...(also The Mask II will have nothing to do with the events of Son of The Mask...)

Anyways GREAT FILM! I recommend it to all!

Shorts (2009)

One of the most annoying 89 minutes of my life.

[2/10 · 17 December 2014]

Shorts might be an O.K. family film, but if your over 10 you will think it really, really, sucks.

SHORTS: (2009)

Well what would you expect from the makers of Spy Kids and Sharkboy and Lavagirl? Exactly what you would expect, actually. Another annoying, high pitched, poorly written, poorly acted, sped-up load of cacá.

High pitched voices of nearly every character, a dumb plot, and terrible effects when used basically make up the synopsis of this movie.

Don't watch it if you are a mature movie goer and enjoy a good comedy once and a while. If you were expecting something better than Spy Kids, or any other movies with the same tone as that, this is not the film for you.

The Master of Disguise (2002)

If you were expecting some Blockbuster film, go home....

[6/10 · 17 December 2014]

OK so look, The Master of Disguise was not a great film. But it wasn't awful either. If you're a kid then you'll probably like it. But if your an adult and looking for something to laugh hard at, this isn't the film for you. It's simply a different kind of humor.

Spaghetti falling on people's heads, slapstick violence, funny voices, it's all young humor. Just accept it for what it is, it's a family/kids movie.

But perhaps someone else besides Dana Carvey would have been suitable for the role of Pistachio. Dana Carvey was more into actual real comedies. Maybe Tom Kenny, someone already associated with kids cartoons and movies.

THE MASTER OF DISGUISE (2002)

The Elephant Man (1980)

The first time I've ever cried during a movie.

[10/10 · 17 December 2014]

David Lynch's "The Elephant Man" is an absolutely beautiful film. The true story of human triumph and beauty of nature in action. Joseph (John) Merrick was a real person with real deformities like this. All those kids out there who think their lives are terrible because they can't be in a relationship need to watch this movie. They have no idea what true hard times are. The train station scene is the most intense scene in the film. That, and the end will tear your heart apart.

I would recommend this movie to everyone. It is very underrated, and more people need to see it. It's a truly life-changing film. Rest In Peace, John Merrick.

David LYNCH: THE ELEPHANT MAN (1980)