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Reviews
Snatch (2000)
American critics they just don't understand a cockney gangster film with Balls!
The basic idea of Snatch is that a botched diamond heist leads to a wild and tangled adventure involving gangsters, boxers, and a detailed look at the London underground scene.
The film has many story lines that seem to weave in and out of each other so seamlessly that it gives the film a unique style. Explaining the story is a real pig but here goes - The story goes something like this - Franky Four Fingers (Benicio del Toro) arrives in London to deliver a consignment of stolen gems to Doug "The Head" (Mike Reid), In the capital, Franky crosses paths with a "sneaky *beep* Russian" Boris "The Blade" (Rade Serbedzija), who is planning to half-inch the prize diamond for himself while Franky is at the bookies. Unfortunately, Boris's accomplices make a pig's ear of the stick-up, and the rock ends up in the stomach of a deranged mutt.
Meanwhile in another plot line would-be boxing promoters Turkish (Jason Statham) and Tommy (Stephen Graham) find themselves in a "tight spot" with local kingpin Bricktop (Alan Ford) in a forthcoming illegal boxing match when their fighter is accidentally knocked out by Irish gypsy Mickey O'Neill (Brad Pitt). Unable to cancel the bout, the pair persuades Bricktop to allow them to enter Mickey in place of their injured man. Unfortunately, the "pikey" Irishman refuses to obey orders to "go down in the fourth", embarrassing Bricktop and his associates and losing him a few bob in the process Unafraid to use bloodshed to make his point, Bricktop exacts a terrible revenge on Mickey's family to stress the point that when he says go down in the fourth, he means it.
This film is amazingly more of a cockney comedy than a serious ("the getaway" game style) London gangster plot. Vinnie Jones excels in the role of a London hard nut it's what he does best and the accomplices of the Russian are brilliantly funny and lighten the dark and gritty reality of the plot considerably A definite work of extreme style form Guy Ritchie with an urban soundtrack to match the plot, this film is a welcome follow-up to "Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels" which is also worth watching. No offence but this isn't one for heart warming characters or American critics they just don't understand a Great British gangster film
with Balls!
Sahara (2005)
When I think of the Sahara desert I think dry, boring, predictable and death by dehydration. This film is exactly those things
The title for me basically writes its own review. When I think of the Sahara desert I think dry, boring, predictable and death by dehydration. This film is exactly those things the humour is dry and unfunny the plot is boring and predictable and I wished instead I was dying of dehydration than sitting in the cinema which doesn't happen often.
The whole film was just pure action movie cheese and predictability that got so tedious towards the end. I cannot think of a film I have seen (besides Dodgeball) where from the start I could predict what was going to happen at the end and how exactly it was going to happen. The basic plot outline is that a dashing (poorly acted) explorer Dirk Pitt (Matthew Mconaughey) embarks on the greatest treasure hunt of his life looking for an American Civil War battleship that had found its way and been lost in the Sahara desert in West Africa (how the hell did an ironclad ship get to Africa) Pitt and his (shamefully unfunny) sidekick are assigned to help Dr Eva Rojos (Penelope Cruz) from the World Health Organization who is working in the same area and believes the same ship Pitt is hunting for could be the cause of mysterious deaths in the same area. I wonder if that you can guess what happens in the end? The action hero cheese really reeks throughout this film from the unfunny lines from Steve Zahn the sidekick to Mconaughey and the all too predictable final scenes between Cruz and Mconaughey. In a final scene described as "epic" inside the American war ship they manage to find all the old pieces to an American civil war cannon that is 150 years old and get it to fire through the windscreen of a Helicopter circling them from outside. That was the final straw for me I think.
I didn't read any reviews of this film before going to see this film which I don't do very often but I was going at the last minute so had no time, I really wish I hadn't wasted my time and money. If you want a decent action film in this frame of mind watch the Indiana Jones series it has everything this film lacks.
Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)
I Predict a Riot
Kill Bill is a film of blood, violence, Quentin Tarrantino
. and that's about it. The basic plot outline is extremely far-fetched if not a little crazy (but would be expect anything less from Tarrantino) We start out with a bit of murder and chaos, take a trip back in time to learn why, then we hurtle back to the present with more murder and chaos. Simple really? The Films main point of interest that makes it almost stand out from the crowd are the cleverly directed and choreographed samurai fight scenes between The Bride (Uma Thurman) and what appears to be the rest of the world. The main fight scene with the Crazy 88 is very bloody, graphic and realistic if not for a few wire stunts from Thurman and some of the other scenes are rather disgusting to watch (there is a now infamous head slamming in a metal hospital door scene) Disgusting as they are they are worked into the plot line very well by Tarrantino and as with all his films it is extremely difficult to predict what will happen next. I really did love the fact the films name was Kill Bill and Bill did not die in this first outing a perfect set up for a sequel and now talks of a third (clever money spinning tactics I think) Overall this film is pretty much a riot. If you like your films gritty, real and packed with more violence than a state prison. Kill Bill is definitely worth a watch, if your squeamish about the sight of blood, guts or revenge doesn't appeal to you then go and rent something else and don't say i didn't warn you.
Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004)
Ben Stiller steals the show, cuts loose and shows what a great comedy actor he is
Ben Stiller has made a successful film career from being a great comedy character actor. With films like "Zoolander" and "Starsky and Hutch" Stiller has formed memorably hilarious characters people will still be quoting in years to come. His character in Dodgeball is no different but not only does Stiller steal the limelight of this picture but in my opinion pulls off one of, if not the best comic performance of his career Stiller plays "White Goodman" an egotistical fitness maniac bent on domination of the complete health market. He is determined to destroy another local gym Average Joes by what ever means he can, and when he hears the Average Joe staff are entering a dodge-ball tournament to pay off their increasing debts Goodman cannot refuse heating up the competition by signing his own team up in direct competition. Goodman is portrayed as the pinnacle of self improvement in both gaining the "perfect body" from being a seriously obese man and acquiring a fortune from his self build corporation Globo-gym. Stiller makes this character so over the top in his appearance from sporting a supremely blow-dried mullet and Fu Manchu moustache to wearing garish leather outfits not seen since the late 70's. What makes Goodman such a superb parody of all fitness gurus everywhere is Stiller's never failing ability to bring embarrassing laughs and cringes from the audience and make a complete fool of himself at the same time. In one memorable scene in this film he tries to "woo" bank officer Kate Veatch (Christine Taylor) by pumping up his crutch with an air pump and delivering supposedly witty lines (including some very bad punning on the word shackles) that was so cringe worthy and embarrassing it almost made me turn from watching it. I'm glad I didn't because every line Stiller delivers is perfectly timed and executed for its full comic value. Dodgeball without Stiller would have scored a very low mark on my rating as to be brutally honest as much as I love this film the story line is extremely corny. The Average Joes gym has serious debts and needs to pay them off before they lose the land the gym is built on. It so happens there is a Dodgeball tournament that will pay the winner the exact amount of money they needed to raise to save the gym. Of course with the addition of the Globo-gym team it was obvious from the start who was going to win the tournament and who the final would be contested between this predictability made the film seriously slow down in pace in the final third which is a little disappointing. The only thing else to really stand out from this film was the character of Patches O'Houlihan played by Rip Torn a wheelchair bound ex-dodge-ball all star who coaches the Average Joe's team with such methods and advice as "if you can dodge a wrench you can dodge a ball" and "your playing like a bunch of retards trying to hump a door knob". However all said about the cheesy storyline, if you want a film where Ben Stiller steals the show, cuts loose and shows what a great comedy actor he is Dodgeball is definitely for you.