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Moonfall (2022)
Worse than Armageddon
Clearly the writers never had any science education after 5th grade. The science in this is worse than in Armageddon. Filled with continuity errors and straight up scientific impossibilities that anyone with a 6th grade science education could spot. I wonder if the actors in this movie complained that the dialog the were about to read was simply nonsense... I bet the grips on set were thinking "this is the dumbest movie I've ever worked on." The writers should be sentenced to have to watch this movie on a loop with their 6th grade science teachers who should be ashamed of themselves.
John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum (2019)
John Wick 3 killed John Wick 1's dog.
Seriously, I want my money back. The action scenes were badly contrived, cliché, and just lazy. The story was poorly motivated. The lore of the Wick-verse just went so over the top as to actually make me roll my eyes so hard they almost got stuck. *minor spoiler* Are we to believe that a member of the most secret society of assassins can get in to any random cab, hand the driver a coin and he knows exactly what it's all about and say yes sir mister wick?! I mean I get that they want the audience to feel that the assassins are all around him and he can't hide, but come on. awful. The cab driver wasn't even an assassin, jut a cab driver that apparently knew all about John wick and the Continental. Poorly written, poorly planned, poorly executed. Just a big let down.
2036 Origin Unknown (2018)
Terrible and Pointless
Not even worth a full review. Just avoid this movie and save your self some time. Even the Visual FX were poorly done.
Scorpion: Arrivals and Departures (2015)
Holy crap! This was a bad episode.
Absolutely nothing was scientifically accurate. Nothing. Spoilers...but really, don't watch it anyway, its bad.
Here is a list of just some of the many many things wrong with this show. Except #4 thats the only thing this show got right in it's whole gloriously bad run.
1: If Walter and his sister grew up in Dublin, why do they both have American accents?
2: Mold doesn't spread like that. Ever.
3: Happy found it easier to hack the security cameras then look up a doctor's phone extension on a hospital directory.
4: Only good thing this show has done ever. Quote from the show - Walter: "I run a team of geniuses who happen to be in this hospital right now..." Doctor: "good for you..." *hangs up phone* (this is also how the pitch meeting for this show should have gone)
5: They don't spray fungicide on walls to get rid of mold and if they did, it wouldn't make it spread faster. They spray bleach. Nothing survives bleach.
6: If the infectious disease team is wearing protective gear, why did they all pass out?
7: Fire doors don't have dead bolts on them.
8: Liquid nitrogen and plaster? Really?
9: Why does a hospital have a big room with a giant fan instead of standard HVAC units?
10: Killing a fungus doesn't make it magically disappear.
11: Pickled eggs are pickled in a brine which is made from salt and vinegar. These are used specifically to stop the growth of bacteria. It would be very hard to find a worse growth medium.
12: Boiling the bacteria would kill it.
13: Happy puts on an apron, hair net, and gloves, but no mask to protect her from the spores?
14: How do you drill a hole in a gas pipe with a cork screw and a hammer?
15: Even if you are able to distribute a cure for the fungal infection, people just don't magically wake up and have all traces of the fungus disappear...
Seriously, for a show about a team of geniuses, they have some seriously dumb writers.
The Hobbit (1977)
Best version.
I would rather watch this version 5 times on a loop and then sit quietly for 24 minutes, than watch the Peter Jackson version again.
Is there a way to delete the new version form my memory so it doesn't ruin my memory of this amazing version?
Why, oh why did they make three movies out of a small book like the Hobbit?!
My advice, watch this version and send Peter Jackson a picture of you flipping him off.
Really, the best Hobbit movie ever made. If you don't believe me, go waist 8 hrs of your life and write your own review.
The Blacklist: The Major (No. 75) (2015)
It's a Clip show.
I like this show. (Not this episode.)
It's not very believable.
It's not well written.
It won't get rid of that horrible husband Tom plot. Ugh, it's so bad, just kill him already.
But James Spader is awesome. Such a great... is there a word that means both villain and hero?... I bet the Germans have a word for it.
Anyway, this episode was just a bad clip show like they used to do with sitcoms from the 80's, and done in a stupid way. Why would they have a stenographer in the room when she is going over highly classified intel with the judge? Seems kinda dumb. Also clip shows are dumb in a day where we can binge watch the previous seasons of almost any show to catch up.
No More Clip Shows!
CSI: Cyber (2015)
I would have thought it impossible.
I didn't think any show could possibly make Scorpion seem like a reasonable way to spend an hour, but here it is. Scorpion is really, mind numbingly, horrifically bad (see my review of it), yet If I had my choice between watching CSI: Cyber or Scorpion, and I couldn't bash myself in the head with a brick instead, I guess I'd watch Scorpion... but it would have to be all tied up like in A Clockwork Orange.
I would almost rather watch a Michael Bay movie... almost.
Oh my god... I think I figured it out. This show must have been created to make Scorpion look good. There is just no other explanation. No one other than maybe Michael Bay could have watched that pilot and said "Yup, we've got a winner here. Order 8 more episodes" unless they wanted to make another awful show look good by comparison.
This show will be canceled. Probably midway through airing of its third episode. They will just cut to black and bring up an old episode of Two and a Half Men... and the audience, if there is any left, will be glad they did.
Scorpion (2014)
What I'd rather do than watch this show.
I would rather buy taco bell food, leave it out on the counter for a week, then eat it just in time to be stuck on the toilet while this show is on the air. That way there is no chance of me seeing even one second of it while changing the channels. This show is so god awful, it should be on mystery science theater 3000 so it can be made fun of by drunk people. The writing team should be ashamed of themselves.
The only way you could make this worse is to cast Keanu Reeves as a genius in it.
Did Michael Bay make this show? Because even he would be ashamed of this.
Superman couldn't save this show... but he should break it's neck and put it out of our misery.
This show should be tried for crimes against humanity.
At least The Cape had the decency to get canceled.
I guess the gist of my review is that this is a bad show. Sorry if I was a little vague in expressing my opinion.