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Reviews
Family (1976)
Great Show... but
I'm old school, and I remember when this show aired, but I don't recall having had much interest in it back then. But, I caught it on Tubi and I'm such a nostalgia type that I watched it. All of it! All five seasons! And, I must say, I enjoyed it! It was very refreshing, quite comforting to go back in the day and watch these 70s episodes. I find myself loving the characters and also extremely annoyed by them also, even though I couldn't tear myself away from watching each episode!
Sada Thompson (Kate Lawrence) was exceptional! The entire series wouldn't be worth NOTHING without her character. But, Kate got on my nerves sometimes. She was dry, judgemental, stoic, flat, goodie-two-shoes, coarse, emotionless (80% of the time), sarcastic, possessive, and damn good leading character who loved her family and friends and without her, the Lawrences (and the show) would fall apart! Sara Thompson was a pleasure to watch act. Bravo!
James Broderick (Douglas Lawrence) wasn't anything special. He was just there....flat. He only held my interest when he put Kate and their children in their place. Sometimes he made a smart quip that was humorous.
Willie Lawrence (can't recall the actor's name) was VERY annoying! He was a leech and a womanizer with THE MOST ANNOYING NASAL voice. All he did was eat, take pictures, write screenplays, drive siblings around, babysit his nephew, fall in love every week, and jump in and out of some woman's bed.
Nancy (Meredith Baxter) was pretty on this show, but she was also very annoying. She always had a problem with something or someone. She was always angry (inappropriately most times) and palming off her kid on a family member. She also had her share of failed relationships, over and over. She was never funny, she rarely laughed, and she always looked sneaky (the Betty Broderick look). It was hard to WANT to trust her motives. I didn't really like Nancy, but Baxter did a helluva job acting out this complex character. Bravo!
Letitia (Buddy) Lawrence, was a typical preteen/teen who oftentimes ran her smart mouth too much, but she was a caring character. A bit dry, spoiled, and melancholy, but I liked Buddy and Kristy McNichol did an outstanding job! Bravo!
And now, the absolute WORST CHARACTER OF THE ENTIRE CAST THAT RUINED THE ENTIRE SHOW FOR ME....
Quinn Cummings (Annie Cooper Lawrence) !!!! OMG! I could NOT get past her annoying tie-tongue, horse face, hoarse voice, and gigantic head! For a child, that girl's head was larger than an adult's! OMG, she got on my nerves! WHY they decided to add her to the cast, I will never understand! She ruined the show, in my opinion. Everything about her physically was a distraction and the character was a constant annoyance. I know Quinn was an awkward kid (in real life) on this show, but she was absolutely insufferable to watch.
However, FAMILY is a good show, even with annoying characters. I truly enjoyed watching all five seasons. And for Sada Thompson and James Broderick, Rest In Peace.
Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015)
Really?
So, I read a few reviews and learned that this Paranormal junk is the LAST of these, dare I say "films" ? Is it, really? You promise? I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it's NOT! There's another one, PA: Next of Kin.
Soooo, a ghost dimension? I don't get it.
Bare with me...
Witches, covens, demons, black tar floating particles, skelton Halloween mask-looking thing, gooey crawling black stuff on the ceiling, tree-like gunk that shoots up to the ceiling, cameras (old and new), 1980s VHS tapes of a creepy child who tightly squints her eyes and distorts her face to see (wait for it) the goings-on in the new house, and two silly and annoying brothers (one moreso than the other).
Let's continue...
A brunette mom who never made an impression, a purposeless blonde who also played a possessed role before (I can't remember the name, but she had two irises in each eye and levitated) an apparently possessed wide-eyed creepy little girl with an equally creepy grin (she can't help that) who befriends imaginary demon friend (until he's not) Toby or the ghost (that's never made quite clear because the "demon ghost" supposedly was banished back to hell after an 'extermination' (until it wasn't, of course), and finally a tunnel leading to, ummmm, another house or something? Is that the ghost dimension?
And lastly...
Toby... oh my goodness! What was he pushing?
Soooo, the witches or demons or ghosts, or the whole lot of them who "worshipped" Toby needed a tiny drop of Leila's (the creepy kid) blood and the missing boy's blood, Hunter is it, to transform him into a human form? Because that's what he appeared to be, considering all we got to see of this "transformation" that turned an entire household upside down were his human legs and feet as he snapped brunettes neck, and shuffled right along, hand in hand, with the creepy little girl.
Oh yeah, and then the camera fell and a child in a nightgown quickly passes by. Not sure who she was.
The end.
Well my goodness, how special is that?
Total BS...
The Boy in the Striped Pajamas (2008)
Watched it again, and I'm glad I did.
'TBITSP' is one the most memorable movies ever. I've seen it before now, but I never wrote a review. Ijust want to say, the only people I felt sorry for were Bruno, Shmuel, the mother, Pavel, and Maria. I DESPISED the father, the grandfather, the young officer, the tutor, and Gretel, the older sister. I wish the ending could have been different, as far as seeing more of a reaction from Bruno's father. Not just standing there in the rain with his mouth open. I wanted to SEE his horror, his pain, his reaction to a life that HE loved, lost in the gas chamber.
I wanted to see how he felt! Ineeded to see more suffering. Other than the clothes they were wearing, the two boys were exactly the same! And while dressed alike, BOTH were murdered by the same nazi monsters that condemned one child for being "different".
WHAT A LESSON IN HATRED! Hating another human being for their religion or their race is idiotic!
Where the Crawdads Sing (2022)
Terribly Realistic
This movie should be a fantasy! No, wait, change "should be" to "IS" a fantasy! How realistic is it for an abandoned 6 year old to survive alone in a swamp? Six years old! Come on. How realistic is it for an abused mother to not take ALL OF HER CHILDREN with her when she escapes from her abusive husband? OK, how about.... how realistic is it for OLDER siblings, one after another, to escape their abusive father, yet NONE OF THEM takes their HELPLESS six year old sibling with them when they decide to run away?
After the father abandons the child, how realistic is it that the locals, including the shop owners, to not be dogmatic about calling in the proper authorities to save this child's life? What decent adult could stand by and watch a gritty, dirty, illiterate, starving, barefeet six year old child wondering the streets, frequenting the local trade store, attempting to go to school for one day, and not take that child to the authorities to get the help she needs?
How did she learn to cook? Keep house? How did she learn about proper hygiene? The character, Kya, as she matured, was pristine. Cheap clothes, sure, but clean. She was shaved and never dirty or grimy. Her hair was healthy and shiny, no dirt, lice, or matted up. Perfect, healthy, white teeth. Apparently no foul odor. After all, she frequently exchanged kisses and eventually engaged in sex.
How did she come to understand about menstruation, proper care and hygiene during that time with no one around to teach her? Are we to suggest that the kind storekeeper's wife taught her all of these female hygienic rituals, like, over time?
Tate, the local boy who took interest in her taught her to read in, like, 2 weeks? And, good enough to self-educate herself and become an "Einstein" nature expert, an artist, and an self-proclaimed author on all of the creatures, critters, and insects of the marshlands.
The character, Kya, was too unbelievable to get past long enough to really enjoy the movie.
And, as far as the murder of the local a*hole, Chase (who was weird)... are we to believe that Kya actually did kill him even after the compelling argument presented to the court by her lawyer of the improbability of her killing him due to her whereabouts and the timeline?
WTCS just ask too much from it's viewers. It wasn't a terrible movie, just terribly unrealistic.
Skinamarink (2022)
What in the "clicking flashlight" did I just watch?
"Go to sleep."
Seriously, just go to sleep on this one because this has got to be the most horrible movie I have ever seen in my life! And, the method to the madness is it holds you hostage while you wait for something to happen, anything that would offer you just a little bit of clarity! If you look away, you'll miss a shadowy figure or a few leggos tumbling over, or a pair of legs walking. But, after tormenting myself by watching this garbage through its entirety, I'm convinced... missing a few shots/scenes makes no difference in the quality of the (dare I say) movie.
Kaylee and Kevin are 5 and 4. And I must admit, I do not appreciate a movie that centers on terrorizing helpless children who cannot defend themselves; no adults around to protect them. Some viewed this trash as a an inner child tormented by their darkest fears. Ok, but like, so what?
It's stupid, it's dark, it's boring, it's NOT scary, it's weird, it's ridiculous, and it's NOT A GOOD MOVIE!!!
Don't waste your time on this junk (like my crazy self did). I should have followed my first reaction, which was watching it for about 10 minutes, fast forwarded it in frames just to see if anything changes (it didn't)... then stop it completely, go to this site to read the reviews (I'm thinking, well, maybe I missed something) .... THEN, return to this crap and (like an idiot) WATCH the entire movie. Now, I can't get back those wasted minutes!
Well, I tried, now here's MY review.
DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME ON THIS ONE...Unless you want to sit through an hour and a half of grainy shots of walls, ceilings, floors, stairs, blankets, carpet, light fixtures, stair rails, flashlights, toilets, stuffed animals, furniture, TV static, bad VHS OLD cartoons, dark corners, doors, feet, and legs. And, THOSE descriptions are the "spoilers"!!!
Consider yourself warned.
Leave the World Behind (2023)
WTH?
It had promise, but as I watched it progress, I was really hoping that this movie would explain to us EVERYTHING that was going on and WHY, but all you get throughout the entire movie is a bunch of mumbo jumbo SPECULATIONS! NOTHING in this movie gives you an explanation as to what's REALLY happening. OK.... Hordes of deer standing around staring. "The animals are trying to tell us something."
Really?
Ho*ny teenage boy bitten in the woods and his teeth fall out.
You don't say...
Of course, it's not known to the viewing audience WHAT bit him. Then we must suffer through a smart-aleck former college student (Myha'la) who is worried about her mom (whom you never see or get any updates) and keeps her arms folded and gets a kick out of being, well...a-holish...
Then, we try to figure out the weird wife (Julia) who hates people (so what) and treats her husband as if he's her child...
Then, there's the equally weird husband (E. Hawke) who is a wuss.
And, OMG...the short-bus "Friends" obsessed daughter (F. Mackenzie) who you just want to shake...
Oh, and Mr. Money Bags (M. Ali) who's character is a like watching paint dry...
And of course, Mr. Bunker Man (K. Bacon) who has two scenes in the entire movie. Kevin must have needed a few extra dollars.
All in all, it's a TERRIBLE MOVIE!
And the ending? OMG! We're subjected to watching that slow child sitting at a table inside of a house (that she broke into) eating chips like it's her last meal, drinking water out of a jug, and just sitting there looking stupid, apparently unaware that her skitzing mother (Roberts) and Smart-Aleck is running around in the woods searching for her.
THEN, WE COME TO THE GREATEST INSULT OF ALL, "Short Bus" finds an underground bunker in the house (after she done stuffing her face) and GET THIS.... she finds a DVD of the sitcom, "FRIENDS"!!! WOOHOO!!!
So, she pops in the DVD and sits down to watch the last episode that she was so OBSESSED with seeing THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE MOVIE... and the camera ZOOMS in on her freckled face and she......grins.
THE END
Seriously?
AGAIN, THIS MOVIE IS TERRIBLE!
The Last Exorcist (2020)
Unbelievably BAD!
Actually, I'm speechless, but I have to think of "SOMETHING" to say. You know how you press forward on a movie just to see if you can find a scene worth watching? You know? M'Kay, that sums up The Last Exorcist. This is so rotten it almost hurt. The "acting" (dang that word left a bad taste is my mouth) is so bad. It's like "the people regurgitating their lines" practiced and memorized them a few hours before filming was to begin. The possessed girl and her annoying husky voice and laugh, was already an epic fail even before she played ring- around- the- roses with the devil. It's hard to even feel any sympathy for her. And her annoying syrupy sister is just as bad. Oh, and I like Danny (whatever his last name), but I'm convinced, he just needed to make a few extra bucks to pay the mortgage, that's all.
Pass this one up, folks! Don't waste your time! It's terrible...
A Werewolf in England (2020)
Seriously?
Oh...My...Goodness. Where do I begin? Oh yeah, I know! How about...BLOODY TERRIBLE MOVIE! You know how a movie can be so terrible, you have to see just how much more terrible it can possibly get? Well, this is one of those movies. Men bouncing around in poorly made werewolf suits, stomping their feet, and flailing their arms as if they were swatting flies. The acting was atrocious. Some scenes attempted to be humorous. Epic fail. Oh, I can't leave out this tidbit. Get this...a "werewolf" decides to empty his bowels on top of the heads of the so-called heroes of this terrible movie. How sick is that? But, like I mentioned, it's SO BAD that you're drawn to continue watching it just to see HOW BAD it actually gets! You won't be disappointed. It delivers! I wish I had more than two thumbs to "down it"...
I Am Lisa (2020)
OMG! This movie is TERRIBLE!
I don't get it? Why go through the trouble of funding a terrible movie like this? I've seen some pretty darn bad werewolf movies, but this one is at the TOP of the list! I can't put in words just how bad this flick is because it's too many things wrong with it. I mean, EVERYTHING in it is terrible! Don't waste a second of your time watching this garbage. Seriously, you'll regret it... just like I did. Don't do it. Move on...
*Review too short?*
Ok... TERRIBLE MOVIE! HORRIBLE MOVIE! TERRIBLE ACTING! HORRIBLE ACTING! TERRIBLE STORYLINE! HORRIBLE STORYLINE! TERRIBLE SO-CALLED "WEREWOLF"! HORRIBLE SO-CALLED "WEREWOLF"
OK... now move on!
Nowhere (2019)
"Drop the gun!" "No!" "Drop the Gun!" "NO!"
Really? The coach is pointing a loaded weapon directly at a mother and daughter and the cop, gun drawn and pointed at her, simply waited by the tree to see how everything turns out. Really? I can think of numerous "other people" who would be shot dead on the spot. Too unrealistic for me. Or.... was it?
But, over all, it wasn't too bad of a movie. I sort of got sick of the mother's expressions and the lunatic coach too.
It's a shame it takes DAYS for the girl to get catch a case of regret and conscience. But, I guess when you're raised by a lunatic, it takes time to overcome the fear of doing the right thing.
Beast (2022)
OMG...I want my money back!
I can kick myself for buying the movie. It was absolutely TERRIBLE! I WAS HOPING that it would get a bit more believable in just a few minutes of watching. But alas, I realized within 20 minutes that I had wasted my time and my money. It sucked all the way through to the end. The daughters, both of them, were terrible actors, the friend too (Uncle Whatever)... even a seasoned pro like Idris couldn't do anything worthwhile with this movie.
It was a rip-off of another movie several years ago named Prey, where a family on a safari in Africa got stranded and preyed upon by lions. But, Prey was better than this movie. Both eldest daughters in each film had an annoying chip on their shoulder and something against an adult, which made most viewers want to slap the spit out of them.
In this movie, the decisions made were really stupid! A window completely busted out, let's all go to sleep (soundly, because Idris kept dreaming).
A huge lion wedges his entire head underneath a small jeep and can't quite get a good grip on Idris, kicking and punching him from underneath. For real? Really?
Uncle Whatever gets his thigh ripped to shreds and the medical pack just so happens to have stitches thread because (wait for it) Idris is a DOCTOR! WHO BETTER TO STITCH HIM UP in the middle of nowhere with a pissed off rogue lion on the loose, out for revenge because poachers slaughtered his pride.
I'm not done.
Remember the busted out window in the jeep? Well CGI Rogue Lion remembered it too and jumped through (well most of his body) and took a good bite out of annoying eldest brat and they all manage to escape out of the back of the jeep. CGI and Uncle Whatever go at it, the jeep spills over a hill and lands upside down. CGI is dazed, but not knocked silly and Uncle Whatever is still alive. So, CGI is pissed off about it and goes in for the kill. Uncle Whatever draws a match (from somewhere?) and lights the gas spilling.....and BOOM!!!! CGI ON FIRE, UNCLE WHATEVER ON FIRE, but get this...CGI is still alive without a singe mark on him, ready for the final battle which is even more unbelievable and ridiculous as the above mentioned.
But, alas...I'm done now. Why bother going any further? You get it. If you don't mind watching a totally ridiculous movie, then go for it. Otherwise, skip it. My wallet sure do wish I had.